If you knew your son had bought you an unsuitable gift for Christmas would you say something?

[polarbebe]

I have just been put on a medication which means I can no longer drink.
He’s bought me a bottle of wine for Christmas.
I don’t want to offend him but he could give it to someone else as it would be wasted on me and I’d feel guilty just giving it away when it could make a nice present for someone else and save him money.
Or do I not say anything and just accept it and say thank you.
I only know because he mentioned what he’d bought to my husband and he mentioned it to me because of the new medication. I don’t know why he didn’t say something to him at the time but now I know I feel I should tell him shouldn’t I?
Obviously he needs to know for future reference.

Will your husband not drink it? Or anyone you know?

Husband is a twat. This could have been so easily dealt with. He should explain it to DC. Have a chat about your new meds.

For husband to deal with definitely

Not necessarily.
One text message. That's all it will take.
YES the husband could do it but the OP could have sent a text and sorted the whole thing back when she started this thread.
This isn't a complicated issue.
"I can't drink alcohol with my medication" is all that needs to be said.

OP what age is your son and what are his circumstances?

I think there’s a big difference between a teenager who’s saved up his paper round money and may or may not be able to get a refund, and a grown up, established adult for whom it wouldn’t be a big deal to get you something else.

Sorry if I’ve missed this.

Well he's got to be at least 18 to buy wine 🤔

We have a friend that gives us a bottle of red wine every Christmas. DH and I both hate red wine. We just say thank you and it goes in the bolognaise.

He could have got a relative to buy it for him. Or even his dad, who we’ve established is a wally.

Yes as he’s your son. If it was a friend I’d just accept it and regift to someone else. He should know you can’t drink - why haven’t you told him?

Yes. Your husband needs to go back to your son and not even mention that he told you.

I think I would got something a bit more subtle given that your husband is prat!

[General chat with son....turn convo to Xmas] "I tell what though, its going to be weird not being able to even have a glass of wine this year......" and so on.

A mime? 😂

For years I bought a friends partner port for Christmas….i rather wish he’d told me 10 years ago he didn’t drink port…..rather than my finding out by accident. I assume he’d been regifting it. Get your DH to tell him.

He does need to go out and get her a different gift!

😁

To avoid embarrassing your friends, just say one of you has now had to give up wine, as the OP has, and the other is abstaining in solidarity?

Just use words! 😄

Why didn’t your husband say, “That’s lovely but mum can’t drink alcohol because of her new medication. She’d love XXXX instead.”

Exactly!
I really don't understand why people just don't say something.
Especially with alcohol which lots of people don't drink for various reasons.
I wouldn't even say I've "given up wine" which is a lie but a simple "actually we don't like red wine and never drink it".
Speak up people and don't say silly fibs either.

Yes definitely say something. You have a valid reason

I bought a friend a voucher for afternoon tea once. She thanked me but said she didn't think she would use it & she was happy for me to keep it. I respected her honesty

In thar case your husband needs to say something or you'll be accepting bottles of wine for the rest of your life

But your suggestion, @Needmorelego, would negate the years of past wine gifts and mortify the friends. It’s better if @Lilyhatesjaz gives the impression that the wine embargo is new.

I do wonder if people actually like their friends, sometimes, though. If I give wine it will be something very carefully chosen and costly intended as a proper treat. I’d be a bit put out to find that my ‘friends’ had been allowing me to waste money and time across years …

I would accept it gracefully and put is aside for the future or offer it to guests when you have them.

Exactly this for me

If he isn't told he could end up buying a bottle of wine every year.
So for every year for the rest of your life you are happy to not actually get a gift from your son that you can use?
He could be wasting his money every year.
If I was the son I would want to give my own mother a gift she can actually use.
I would actually be quite angry if in years to come I discovered the wine I had been buying every year was unusable. I'd think "ffs why didn't you say something".

it is a present from a son to his mum (for me a pretty shit gift, but each to his own)

So either: the son is told it's something his mum can't have. Or OP says "you know what, let's skip gift giving and just have a nice evening together"