To think my niece doesn’t really get a say on how good or bad she thinks the budget is

[Dennien]

I’m a single mum, I work full time, I have 3 children and I just about get by.
My niece is 26, she makes almost 100k (got lucky, was in the right rooms either the right people), and inherited 500k from her paternal grandparents.
She doesn’t have uni debt, she doesn’t have childcare costs. She happily pays £500 a month for a fancy London gym, lives in a flat share with her best friend etc.
Today she told me she didn’t think the budget went far enough etc. that Labour are useless and so on. She is a Lib Dem/Tory voter and very against reform too.

AIBU to say that young people in a privileged position shouldn’t really get to comment as they aren’t facing the same difficulties others are.

What a disgraceful post, jealous and bitter of someone who has done well.

You keep saying luck, but skill and positivity has got your niece where she is now.

Let’s hope your niece reads this and removes you from her life. If you can’t rely on your family to be proud of you who can you?

You have no objectivity regard her, you’re minimising and you yea but her achievements.
Creative industries are fiercely competitive. Sure, luck might get her a start, it won’t maintain her career though. Evidently she has talent, and is well remunerated. Have you considered her she works Hard work and puts in effort. Schmoozing and luck will only get her so far, her flair, and personality clearly impress others.

Shes had bereavement, been a looked after child in social care. Those events can be insurmountable for many. All that And then goes on to establish a well paid career. What a remarkable young woman.

In comparison you’re being petty, and snippy all yea but diminishing her achievements. Not a good look

Going forward Concentrate on yourself. I wish you well, focus on your wellbeing and work on your self esteem, your own talents.

You sound jealous and bitter.

I can’t believe what you’re posting op; it’s so ugly. Your resentment and envy over this young woman’s success is as ugly as it gets.

this young woman, who had a difficult child hood, even in care at one point, has forged a successful career, one where she is being promoted and high earning, her skill set are obviously huge.

and you put it down to luck and decide she should be more empathetic with your hard life and have no say on where the taxes she pays are spent, you, the person who takes, should?

if I was your sibling, the parent of that girl and the young woman herself, I’d distance myself from you,

Good for her. What a person to be bitter about and your niece too.

Stinks of jealousy.

She is probably paying more tax than you so yes she is entitled to an opinion as to where that tax is spent

I 100% disagree with her but she still.has the right to an opinion.

Your niece does not sound privileged or lucky, she grew up with stints in the care system and has already lost a parent. She has a job based on her talent and skill in something she must have had to dedicate a lot of practise to. It doesn’t sound like your DN was at all privileged growing up, in fact if she spent time in care she was massively disadvantaged, and you sound very bitter dismissing her as ‘lucky.’ Your DN is absolutely entitled to an opinion, as is anybody, and you sound bitter and self-centred.

From your follow up posts, I’m not seeing much “luck” for this woman. I’m not sure many people who’ve been in care would describe themselves as lucky?
It sounds like she had a rough start and she’s worked incredibly hard to get where she is. And you now resent her for it. Nice. Her opinion is just as valid as yours.

Do you know the saying "You make your own luck", OP? Often what looks like luck to the bitter and jealous is usually a combination of hard work, being good at what you do, putting yourself out there, presenting and communicating well, plus many similar opportunities not working out. I know whose opinion on the budget I would value more.

This

Exactly this. I bet you think she’s got too big for her boots, yeah? Forgotten where she’s come from. Bet you’d be first in the queue if she was handing out cash though.

Yes you are being unreasonable. If you are going down the lines of some people deserving a say more than others then you could argue that maybe people who aren't working shouldn't get a say as they are not contributing to the money that is being spent. But obviously life doesn't work that way.

You sound very resentful of her success. Focus on your own situation and try not to compare, it will just make you miserable.

Is she a net contributor? Than she does get a say. In fact people who contribute more than they take from the system should get a bigger say. After all money doesn’t grow on trees. If these people don’t pay, everyone else wouldn’t get their free stuff.

Im people will make lots of subjective arguments about how cruel that is. What is actually cruel is not understanding how the economy works, not being able to do simple sums and not expecting free stuff all the time and tanking the economy in the process for everyone. Which is how most people on here think.

She doesn't get it, her landlord and childcare do. So if we cut it, where does she live and are you then happy for her not to work? That means less childcare needed, less people in work, less tax. We either support families or support immigration. Either way, we pay out.

She gets it. She lives in the house and the childcare is for children she couldn’t afford to have. Sorry, it’s blatant lying to say otherwise.

So she is skilled and a pleasant person so people want to work with her and she knows how to capitalise her networking opportunities?

Look, it might feel like luck. But this ia how majority of jobs go. When you go in for an interview, it is about your chemistry with the interviewer. If you know someone, it will be an advantage. When you have 400 applicants per job, it is nott he objectively best that will get the job.

What I find most upsetting in post like this os this assumption that people like her enjoy their success just through pure luck when the reality is probably very different.

In all likelihood, she was up at the dawn of the day to go and trained when OP was comfortable in bed. She probably had to deal with muscle pains daily to become more flexible, feet being destroyed whilst OP could instead focus on painting her toe nails.

She would have spent time and energy to meet the right people at the right time, networking when all she mighthave wanted is a quiet day at home.

Success very very rarely lands in people's hands. It rarely requires no talent at all and talent rarely flourishes without being invested in.

I'm so tired of people like OP who took an easier route, decided to have children when each child is inevitably going to bring in more financial challenge, yet undermines the success of those who chose different priorities.

Enjoy the wealth of your children OP and let her enjoy the wealth of her money. You are both lucky with the choices you've made. Ultimately though, she is self reliant, you are not.

Maybe she thinks as she is a net contributor to the tax system and you are not you aren't entitled to an opinion. Maybe she thinks that we should have a system of proportional representation where the more of a contributor you are the more your vote counts and therefore yours doesn't?

Of course your Neice gets a bloody say in what she thinks of the budget. As we all do.
Are you trying to silence her voice Op just because she doesn’t agree with you?
You sound full of bitterness and resentment and it doesn’t come across well.

You've included so many identifying details on here about your niece, @Dennien. We know she's a choreographer who grew up with separated parents and had a spell in care and now earns £100k working in-house for a production company. How do you think she'd feel reading all the bitter and cruel things you've said about her? Very distressed, I imagine. I'd ask MN to take the thread down.

not at all, I am just saying that the OP is jealous! And that's another thing to be jealous of 😂. Which explains the awfully bitter posts and rude description of her niece.

Ok, well, she should know better then. But, still, she has the right to comment. Not least because she is a taxpayer, but also because she has been 'there' previously. I don't agree with her but she is entitled to a view on the budget as is every single citizen in the UK.

All of this. I almost hope the family finds the thread so they know where they stand.