To think my DH is having an emotional affair

[Limboo]

So, maybe I am being paranoid here but my H has become quite friendly with somebody work which is fine and he seems nice. They go to festivals/day drinking and his friend’s sister seems to always be there with them. I searched her on social media (sorry cringe) her profile picture was her sat there with my H’s jacket on her knee at a festival. Something is off, I just have a gut feeling.

Sorry to read this OP I can imagine your mind is in over drive. As hard as it is try to keep logical, look out for signs (phone, is he distant, late home from work etc)
are you 100% sure the male friend is actually attending all these events too?

I have noticed a change, he is home late a lot without letting me know, his attitude towards me has changed, like he doesn’t care

Is it possible that it's because the male work friend is close to his sister that he invites her out socially all the time?
And in another post you seemed to say that the sister works with your DH too. So do all 3 of them work together.

You trust your gut ,you have been with him for years so you will know if something isn’t right.Why has he never invited you? He is deffo taking the piss leaving you at home with the kids .

He says all I do is moan at him so he doesn’t want to come home. No, we just have a family which is very full on at times and I need the help as I also work.

Yes, he is close to her so I do think that is why she goes. H and his friend work together and H’s friends sister in a different department

It’s all just a bit odd, why would she even want to go?

Oh sorry, it sounds tough. They probably don’t have an affair but something isn’t right. You both need to sit down and talk about your relationship. This is to me just another man who keeps living his single life while being married with two kids.

She is a single mum and seems to get more free than me as a married woman! I can’t imagine wanting to spend that precious time with my brother and his friend

Which ever one it is I don’t think I can deal with it much longer, he is taking the piss to be honest

Trust your instinct.
You are the 'boring mother at home with the kids', she is the new hot festival chick.
Men are so fucking dull and predictable.

It’s like he wants me to end it, it really is

Page 2 | Midlife crisis: this is the script! | Mumsnet
The Script: what would you add! | Mumsnet
The Cheating Spouse Follows a Script

There are probably better links.

Op just ask him. Why are you torturing yourself? Ask him straight out to his face. Judge his immediate reaction.

Is there someone you can talk to OP? I feel you need to process your thoughts before you go in all gung-ho.

They always lie. What’s the point?

I think either way affair or not? He sounds like he has disconnected from you and your family? So it’s time to say what u need and work out an exit plan if he doesn’t want to try.

Get your ducks in a row and see a family lawyer.

His behaviour doesn't sound nice at all. But I'm confused about your focus on her and the photo at the festival. Close siblings who have the same hobbies (like good to festivals) are going to go to them together with friends. There's a good chance the 3 of them (or more) went and she had cold legs so borrowed H's jacket to keep warm?

And a single mum is going to have more free time than a married mum without help because she'll be free when the kid is at their dads! Why shouldn't she go to festivals when she can?

You definitely need to look at your marriage and speak to H. But I wanted to say this because lots of people are jumping to conclusions of something that I feel could easily be innocent

@Sprinklesandsprinkles , usually threads like this one end with the OP's hunch being right.

Girl I’m going to tell you this in the nicest way possible- that man is cheating. You know it, you can feel it, he’s showing pure disrespect and resentment towards you. I’ve had 2 failed marriages. Both times the men cheated multiple times (the first one with my friends). Looking back there were signs, never abandon your gut feeling. Either confront him (he’ll lie and call you crazy) or gather evidence, get strong and leave him! You deserve better. Don’t allow this to continue….good luck x

Serious question, why don’t you end it? Sounds like he has checked out. I mean, emotional affair aside, he’s completely fucking useless as a husband and co-parent, so why do you put up with it?

Your gut feeling is usually correct and from everything you’re saying, it definitely sounds like he’s having an affair.
Is there any way you can look for evidence without making him suspicious?

This does sound concerning. Snoop on his phone/laptop if you can.