To think my DH is having an emotional affair

[Limboo]

So, maybe I am being paranoid here but my H has become quite friendly with somebody work which is fine and he seems nice. They go to festivals/day drinking and his friend’s sister seems to always be there with them. I searched her on social media (sorry cringe) her profile picture was her sat there with my H’s jacket on her knee at a festival. Something is off, I just have a gut feeling.

Well his jacket is definitely off, it was on her knees. I feel sorry for you OP, do you suspect just the friend or the sister too as a threesome ?
Edit ; sorry just reread, the friend of your husband is male?

yes his friend is male, this is his sister, when I questioned it he said I was being daft but I honestly have a gut feeling.

He never takes me to these festivals and I have never met her. Why would he want to spend a weekend with her and not me?

Well if his friend's sister is there what don't you go along too?
It's obviously not an all guy outing so your H should be asking you along as well.
Edited as I've just seen your update. Has he actually refused to let you go along with him? If so i would definitely be asking to know why.

I would be inviting myself along to some of these gatherings so I could see the relationship between them for myself.

Definitely not being unreasonable. Especially if you’re not invited…. I’m very sorry :(

It’s not a boys only event so I’d be asking to go too.
I completely get where you are coming from, OP.

If my suspicions turn out to be correct, what the hell do I do? We have 2 young children.

I see, from what you can see in the profile photo, would you say she is 'his type'?

I feel
like such a fool sitting home looking after the kids whilst he has been spending nights with her forming a relationship.

She is quite similar to me yes,

One step at a time OP. There may be nothing going on. Try to get to the bottom of things first.
ultimately, if his behaviour is causing you concern and making you upset you need to see if he will change this when he knows how you are feeling.

Well I wouldn't jump the gun yet, this all may be totally innocent and I hope it is, I really do

You know when you just know something isn’t right? I have never once been jealous/not trusted in 18 years, she has just come out of a relationship with a man almost double her age as apparently he treated her badly.

Well even if he isn't having an affair with this woman why is he going off drinking and spending weekend's away leaving you looking after his 2 young children OP?
He is a married man. It doesn't sound as though he is behaving like one.

I just wouldn’t do that, he knows how it makes me feel as I have brought it up but he still goes. They work together too so he spends more time with her than he does with any of us.

Our relationship hadn’t been the best since kids came along. Everything seems to have been left to me so I can’t say really that generally he is a good husband (he was amazing before kids)

So he’s enjoying playing the knight in shining armour.
have you had a serious chat with him? He must realise that in 18 years you’ve never had an issue before so something isn’t sitting right with you.

i suppose I just wanted to know I am not going mad. Every-time I have mentioned it he just plays it down like I am reading too much into it.

It’s the fact that he thinks it’s ok to do this whilst I am just at home with the kids and I am never invited.

It reads to me as though you have always compromised to accommodate him. He needs to know that you have frequently raised concerns about this but have always been made to feel unreasonable and have had to compromise on your feelings. This woman (and indeed, his social life) is time, effort and energy taken away from you. This makes you feel unhappy, left out and insecure. Since this woman is going, it is not boys only so you should be able to go too. It will take him a while if he is ever to accept your POV.

Which you could well be. Just because she has his coat in the picture, doesn’t mean he is having an affair.
do you ask to go with him to the festivals?

I’m sorry. I don’t know what you can do to stop it. You are right about your feelings, and don’t let him fob you off x x

So he works with the man and his sister?

Yes, although she works in a different department