Did he lose interest

[Karlaken]

So me and this guy have been talking nonstop for two weeks straight. He initially reached out to me and the conversation progressed from there. At first he was double texting me and replying back instantly. We also talked on the phone twice for three hours straight, so it’s been a lot communication very quickly. He brought up seeing me several times. A week goes by and he asks me when I’m free to meet I tell him that I wanted to get my hair done before. He jokingly said “screw your hair, I don’t want to wait until next year to see you”. I finally agreed he suggested we go out for food the next day but he said he understood if it was too short of notice.

I told him that I was free first day of the next week, we go over different food places but never agreed on a spot or an exact time. He asked me if I was going out and jokingly says “are you coming to see me”. So for the sounds of it, sounds like someone who wants to meet up?

a couple days before we were supposed to go out his texts responses slow down to hours… which is fine just a shift observation. The night before the day we were supposed to meet his text slow down even more and there were no talks about our plans. Yes I could have brought it up, yet he was so eager to meet, I feel like he should be able to take the lead. The day comes when we’re supposed to meet he texts me good morning, then asks if the day still worked or if I wanted to wait longer? I told him that the day works. He then sends me this long voice message explaining that the day can work but there’s a misshaped? Said that he had a family urgent matter that he has to take care of and that he could still see me but it would just be later in the day, but he didn’t want to give me the time or place ?

I told him that family comes first and that we can always reschedule and that he doesn’t need to worry about it. He responded hours later saying “yeah just don’t want to be flaky and running around”….

That was it? Not that bothered by it because it was only two weeks of constant talking… yet is it weird or crazy for me to be a little confused?

Yes he lost interest. He’s probably conversing with multiple women. Move on.

Is this online dating? Par for the course I’m afraid. People lose interest, often they’re chatting to multiple people at once. There’s a thread dedicated to online dating in Relationships, come and join us 🙂

Next time cut all the chat back and forth and meet for a quick coffee early on. Saves all this time wasting.

Agree with a PP, a coffee early on will give you more certainty and no need for confusion.

If someone is keen, any initial chat shouldn't make any difference to a meet up.

this bloke has flaked on you, he isn't genuine, yes he probably has been keeping his options open with several people on the go at the same time. Unfortunately you didn't make the cut.

If he had been genuine and not a time waster he wouldn't have spun a yarn about his family crisis or whatever, he would have agreed a date, time and location, and kept to it. Think to yourself how likely is it that the family matter just coincidentally happened to be on the very same day as you were going to meet. zero chance, right. That's because he's shown you who he is, a full on jumped up gold plated timewaster.

Yeah he’s lost interest, I find if men really want to do something they tend to get it done. i would just move on from this one. Sorry OP it’s disappointing.

I’m a beautiful girl yet I keep going through this ? I don’t know what I’m doing wrong….. men not even on my level or men I’m not even attracted to end up doing this to me… I don’t know what to do ?

I think some of them just enjoy the ego boost without wanting to take the next step and date. Put it down to experience and don’t let them take up all your time. Get ruthless and stop talking when you don’t have firm plans after a couple of days. Urgent family crisis I would take as a.pinch of salt, more likely he’s busy with another woman.

Now he’s viewing all my stories? Like do you really have no shame ? I want to block him but I feel like that’s giving him to much power

Just liked the attention and the chase but he cba to follow through with seeing you.

Endless back and forth that ‘feels’ like it could be leading somewhere is often time wasting. I get not wanting to go straight to meeting up without some spark or chat, but investing two weeks plus into someone who flakes out isn’t worth it. Too much emotional thought and energy.

He's gone with the first person to agree to sleep with him. When he's done with that he will no doubt be back in touch.

He's not going to meet you, or anyone. He's probably in a relationship and using dating apps to get an ego-stroke.

Don't waste time chatting to people for 2 weeks - meet them early for a coffee or a drink - spend no more than an hour with them. It's literally just to check that the person is legit looking to date and not just chat.

And also, it stops you wasting time on someone who might give you the creeps when you meet in person.

what he's done says nothing about you, because he doesn't know you. And you blocking him is the best thing to do because he's meaningless. It's not giving him power, it's taking back your power by taking control of who you allow in your orbit.

Oh my god I am on the completely wrong thread im sorry! I ahev reported my post and hopefully its removed.

I didn’t meet him in a dating app. He was on my social media for a year and ended up messaging me through there. I never paid any attention to him before at all.

Crazy thing is I think the guy that I spoke to previously for like a week a couple months ago is his Cosuin… yet I didn’t know that we live in a small state where everyone knows everyone

Then he went in our chat and saved the audio messages that I sent him previously….

@Karlaken@WallaceinAnderland I agree with Wallace - the ‘are you coming to see me’ and the ‘may be able to meet up later’ are sounding you out about a booty call. He’s not interested in actual dating. Bin him off, he’ll likely come sniffing back again for another go, you don’t need this.

Hey @Karlaken

Sorry he’s lost interest - not that he had much in the first place to be honest. Most men who genuinely like you from the jump would act like this.

Move on and do not give him the time of day when he comes back. He’s pretty much guaranteed to try again, not because he likes you but because men always see if they may get lucky this time round

also, no more long convos and texting all day every day. You kill the spark and create a false sense of intimacy. Try to keep texting to a minimum to encourage getting to know each other over dates. And no coffee dates. Men that ask you on them have little to no interest when they ask you on them

He asked me to dinner the same week we started talking but I declined and wanted to wait

I mean I'm not being funny but from my perspective you didn't sound very interested yourself. "Need to do my hair" is an age old fob off and it doesn't sound like you were initiating any discussion at all and waiting for him to do everything.

Being pretty is worth fuck all if you seem to need all the work doing for you.

i removed him off of my socials because he was still viewing my stuff… why did he go back in our text thread and save my audio messages

I said that I actually needed to get my nails done first… then I told him that I could still see him if he didn’t want to wait

Yeah see the shit everyone previous is saying about if a man was really interested he'd make an effort? It works the other round way too. If someone was telling me they were prioritising their nails and hair over seeing me I'd assume they're not that interested and back off too.