Did he lose interest

[Karlaken]

So me and this guy have been talking nonstop for two weeks straight. He initially reached out to me and the conversation progressed from there. At first he was double texting me and replying back instantly. We also talked on the phone twice for three hours straight, so it’s been a lot communication very quickly. He brought up seeing me several times. A week goes by and he asks me when I’m free to meet I tell him that I wanted to get my hair done before. He jokingly said “screw your hair, I don’t want to wait until next year to see you”. I finally agreed he suggested we go out for food the next day but he said he understood if it was too short of notice.

I told him that I was free first day of the next week, we go over different food places but never agreed on a spot or an exact time. He asked me if I was going out and jokingly says “are you coming to see me”. So for the sounds of it, sounds like someone who wants to meet up?

a couple days before we were supposed to go out his texts responses slow down to hours… which is fine just a shift observation. The night before the day we were supposed to meet his text slow down even more and there were no talks about our plans. Yes I could have brought it up, yet he was so eager to meet, I feel like he should be able to take the lead. The day comes when we’re supposed to meet he texts me good morning, then asks if the day still worked or if I wanted to wait longer? I told him that the day works. He then sends me this long voice message explaining that the day can work but there’s a misshaped? Said that he had a family urgent matter that he has to take care of and that he could still see me but it would just be later in the day, but he didn’t want to give me the time or place ?

I told him that family comes first and that we can always reschedule and that he doesn’t need to worry about it. He responded hours later saying “yeah just don’t want to be flaky and running around”….

That was it? Not that bothered by it because it was only two weeks of constant talking… yet is it weird or crazy for me to be a little confused?

Don’t know, fairly sure DH would have waited a few days for me. Honestly though you just told him you wouldn’t go to dinner because you wanted to get your hair and nails done. I would find that off putting, My very strong advice though is to never say you are delaying for a small reason. Just say “I’m available on xyz”. But honestly men who are keen do not flake out.

OP a lot of men on OLD do this, they just enjoy the attention. I met DH on OLD, we went to a date pretty fast because neither of us are the the type to waste our time or other peoples.

If it keeps happening maybe you need to reassess what you think your level is.

Back in the day 'washing my hair' was a sure sign a woman didn't want to go out with you.
I guess 'need to get my nails done' is the modern equivalent.

Far too much chatting / too many tests / long phone calls.

Meet for a date within / by a week, your time is precious don't waste it by chatting to someone for weeks on end.

and remember many people are chatting / texting / long phone calls etc. to others and often it's who meets who first that is ' successful ' tho of course some/many decide to meet others after that first meet / date.

I told him I was an available… he said okay and sent me a long voice memo about how he had a family urgent matter and he had to drive across town etc. saying that he still wanted to see me but didn’t want the date to be cut short. That the date would have to be later in the day… I said that family comes first no worries we can plan something another day … that’s when he said that he didn’t want to be flaky I responded with a question mark and he ignored me

Either way, he’s not interested. Don’t give it anymore headspace and move on but equally, don’t mess another man around with comments about doing your nails or your hair if you actually do want them to make you a priority and turn up for a date.

You sound extremely hard work, @Karlaken and if it was this chap's thread I'd say to him to look elsewhere.

it shouldn't be this hard, this early on!

Ok? None of that matters so I'm not sure why you're repeating it, you've put him off mate. He's lost interest.

Top tip for next time, if you actually want to date a guy show a bit of enthusiasm and stop with the "oh I want to do my nails/hair/whatever before I see you". Men want to feel wanted too, it's not entirely up to them to do all the legwork.

You've posted several other threads angsting over every detail of interactions with men, fretting about inconsequential stuff and worrying about what every single thing 'means'.

You really need to stop overthinking and obsessing over this stuff. Sometimes people aren't as into you as you'd like them to be. None of this stuff is anything like as deep and complicated as you think it is and you need to stop massively over-investing in every conversation you have.