DD going for a sleepover

[ErasLara]

DD is 7, she is in Y3 and this year they have started sleep overs. The first sleep over was in September and my very close friend hosted the 4 girls, I trust her and would say she is a friend who is let babysit DD anyway. In October I hosted, during half term, only 3 of the girls as one was on holiday. Now this Saturday the next girl is meant to be hosting, her dad is a single dad, widowed. He seems nice enough, he was more present at school drop and pick up in Y1-2 but I think he’s gone back to work full time this year so I never actually see him in person. DD has been for play dates with this girl without me, but this has felt a little different as every time it’s been a day out, or once she was invited to a BBQ where they had a bouncy castle etc.
Anyway I’m suddenly feeling a bit uneasy about DD being there overnight. I know I shouldn’t be bothered by the fact he is a single dad, and I know the odds are extremely low that anything untoward would happen but I do think I feel more comfortable when there is a woman in the house. Mainly just in case DD were to have an accident and need help changing or something. I know it shouldn’t matter but I can’t seem to shake the feeling.
AIBU to feel a bit uneasy about letting DD go?

Surprised by the amount of "7 is too young" - Cubs and Brownies (and Badgers etc) will be going away for at least 2 days at that age! (Oh, and DBS checks don't stop abuse happening, there are plenty of cases that prove that...)

Was your DH present at your sleepover? How would you feel if a parent had turned around and said they wouldn't allow it because he was? How would you feel for your DD if it was her who's Mother had died and her friends weren't allowed around hers?

I think you are insane for letting your daughter go to sleepovers. There is absolutely no need. There was a MN poster I read who wasnt allowed to go to sleepovers, she hounded her Mum for years, her Mum finally relented at 14 and allowed her to go to a friends sleepover. She was SA by her friends Dad while everyone else slept. It only takes one time, and her life will be ruined forever. My DH is a specialist mental health therapist and most of his patients have suffered SA.

This feels much too young and too early. When they know about the dangers of the world and nefarious people (age appropriate) then they’re ready, more able to protect themselves. If they still believe in Father Christmas and that everyone is ultimately good, which of course they’re not, then they won’t be sleeping over anywhere. I’m sure this man is innocent and good and has gone through a brutal time and just wants to provide his daughter with a lovely experience with her friends, but I know for a fact that my husband would not be comfortable with having a gaggle of young girls sleeping at his house with only him present. Self protection. The fact he hasn’t thought in that vein would cement my decision to say no. I’m from an ordinary middle class family, privately educated. Good parents. My sibling was abused on one seemingly innocent occasion by our neighbour and said nothing til an adult.

I would arrange a last minute visit to someone that you simply can’t get out of and make my excuses.

I dont think you can compare school and brownie trips with Vetted adults supervising, and a pre-organised schedule of activities, timetable, etc to sleepovers in friends' houses.
For me the fact that each family has to "take their turn" hosting these sleepovers sounds like a lot of pressure. If someone doesn't like a scout sleepover they dont have to go to the next one. In this situation, if one of the girls didn't really like the first sleepover or had a falling out with the others, she would still have to host them in her house to "take her turn".
It just seems a bit much... 4 sleepovers in a few months aged 7. There is no way id let my 7 year old do this. And yes, she has gone on Beaver sleepovers.