To wonder whether people ever think about the friends they ghosted or dropped for no reason, especially when they did it badly or hurtfully?

[QuietLooseEnds]

Do those people ever look back and think, “That wasn’t fair,” or do they just move on and never care?

I do think people ghost / fade away because they either think the fight that could come from telling you why they no longer want to be your friend would be hurtful and upsetting- often to them. Or because they don’t think any good would come from telling you, that you won’t listen/change so what’s the point when they could just stop responding and not give energy to the argument. If telling you why they are disappearing from your life won’t change anything- you won’t change your behaviour and they won’t be your friend afterwards, what would be the point?

I think some people deal with their own troubles by getting rid of possessions, moving, changing careers, dumping whole belief systems, ghosting their family members, and yes also ditching their friends.

I was dumped by my closest friend of over 30 years. We stayed very good friends as she went through two drastic career changes, moved to a new country, moved house several times, dumped her brother, her father and her mother (no abuse involved), dumped numerous friends, and adopted and abandoned some very drastic philosophies of living. Somehow the two of us had remained very close through all of it, until I got ditched. It is her way of coping with life and moving on.

I don't know why almost everyone on this thread seems to think: 'if you have been dumped by a friend, then they have a reason, and you should look at yourself closely'.
The reason is often that the dumper deals with life's challenges by throwing relationships away and starting fresh.

Not ghosted anyone as I do think it is cowardly but have ended friendships before. That said we would both have known the reasons. I was quite literally ghosted by someone I was once close to and I found out the actual reason years later and it was a lie someone told about me but looking back the friendship was not sustainable anyway as I seriously cannot BEAR a woman who she is close to and she would always invite us both to things so I guess it was a win for me in the end but I was sad at the time that she did not even think enough of me back then to just spit out the issue.

I’ve done it, usually because I’ve felt things have run their course. With one person it was endless bitching and negativity about other people . I wasn’t innocent - I joined in but realised it wasn’t what I wanted to do or be.
another - she found a partner and stopped making any effort with me.

I worked with a group of women some years ago and we all got along great (or so I thought) when one of them was told that she was going to be moved to another location about 10 miles away she was devastated, cried, threatened to leave the company etc. I agreed to go in her place as my circumstances meant that I had no children at the time and I felt our friendship was worth my sacrifice. We still all met up for coffee’s and drinks during the year and when I got married they came to my wedding. My husband also worked in a trade and they were very happy to contact me when they wanted a little job doing. I have 2 boys one of them with a disability and after the second was born I left the company and went self employed to manage my time better as my son had lots of hospital appointments. We still stayed in touch and met up. Sadly my lovely husband had a serious illness when the boys were still small and life became very busy, the next Christmas one of the women called me and in a very hurried conversation said that they had been talking and decided to stop swapping Christmas cards with no mention of a Christmas meet up that year, but she would be in touch in the new year and we’d all have a lovely catch up then. Needless to say I didn’t hear anything until about 8 years later when the same woman called me by accident that conversation was a bit squirmy.

or maybe people just move on, I would say it is only the people who have issues think it is ghosting the people who just move on do just that, I have never sent a dramatic end text in mu life I move on from people they move on from me life is only a soap opera if you make it one

what is one person's ''ghosting'' is another's losing touch, it seems only recently people need to stick a label on it

There is a difference though. I’ve lost touch with other friends, and of course people naturally drift in and out of your life, that’s not what I mean by ghosting.

The friend that I referred to previously was (I thought) one of my best friends. We went from being in very regular contact to suddenly not replying to messages, not answering calls. Declining invitations etc.

Now obviously something happened, but I genuinely have no idea what. There were no arguments, disagreements, not a single cross word. Our last message exchange wasn’t about anything controversial.

We didn’t “lose touch” she suddenly cut me off.

Which she is of course entirely entitled to do. But it was baffling and hurtful at the time and I do still feel sad about it.

You can’t apologise to someone if you have no idea at all what they are upset about.