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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Not sure if I’m doing more than my partner or aibu? (Quite a long post)

52 replies

hl8 · 24/11/2025 02:22

Me and my partner both work, he works full time 5 days a week in construction so works hard and I work part time 3 days a week in a supermarket plus as much overtime I can get. We have a child together and live together.

I do the cleaning and cooking and all the housework which I don’t mind, but my partner is very messy and doesn’t clean up after himself and I’m endlessly tidying away his things and his excuse is he’s been working all day.

He is paid weekly and I am paid monthly and obviously earn less money than him yet I pay all of the bills plus debts and pay for everything when it comes to our child and also the food. We have had many arguments about this and he says he works harder for his money, I’m also not aloud to know how much he earns as ‘his money is his money and it’s none of my business’

We are both smokers which we both pay for but aside from that he spends his money on breakfasts and lunch at work, he will sometimes go to the shop to buy snacks for our child, or his PlayStation and gambling apps.

I understand that he works harder than I do but I’m really struggling financially and barely scraping by while he is living quite comfortably, am I being unreasonable thinking he should be helping me pay the bills and for other things?

OP posts:
Amba1998 · 27/11/2025 15:30

Oh come on

Surely women of today are not this naive

I am sick of reading shite like this. Raise your standards please

junebirthdaygirl · 27/11/2025 15:47

What is going on? Who are all these men living free on their partners who mostly only work part time because of childcare.
Can we be clear here. Men must pay half rent/ mortgage..half childcare...half groceries/ electricity..every bill. If they are earning more they pay more but it seems here that they actually don't want to pay anything. Where else would they live for free? Its completely unacceptable and it would be cheaper to live alone with children as at least you are not feeding a grown man who refuses to pay for the food in his mouth!!

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