To think no one is as excited about your wedding as you are and people get annoyed fast?

[ItWasJustChickenToMe]

One thing I wish more people remembered when planning a wedding: no one is as excited about it as you are. Not your bridesmaids. Not your extended family. Not your mates from work. Definitely not your cousin’s plus-one.

It’s a huge day for you and yes, people care about you but they’re not going to live and breathe every detail like you do. In fact, the more you talk about it, the more likely they are to get quietly annoyed. And if you start expecting them to care as much as you do… oof.

AIBU to think wedding planning often becomes a tunnel vision thing, and people forget that others are just living their normal lives, not orbiting around your centrepiece arrangements?

My sisters wedding was my favourite wedding ever. It was low key and relaxed. She wanted all the boy cousins to wear matching shirts. I rang her and said my son couldn’t as he has put on some weight and felt very self conscious in a slim fitting shirt and would she mind if I got the same colour but a more generous fit. She said she just wanted her nephew there (we are a close family.) and she said he could wear his pyjamas if that made him happy. He didn’t obviously. He wore a shirt that was a flattering fit for him and he felt comfortable in but matched the colour of his cousins slim fitting shirts.
I’ll never forget how kind she was and I think that is the right attitude. Does it really matter what people wear. It’s about celebrating love with those closest to you.
Not having the perfect wedding for instagram and by doing that inconveniencing all your friends and family.

I am not that interested in hearing about wedding planning but I do love to hear about a fancy honeymoon and details about the destination.

I had a panic attack after signing my mortgage agreement

Weddings are so dull. I do everything I can to avoid them. I just don’t see the appeal at all.

YANBU and I've noticed that the people who are fixated on their wedding day tend to be very unhappy after all the 'excitement' is over.

Would be nice if people regarded a wedding as the starting line of a new phase of the relationship and not the finishing line.

Weddings are boring. Very very very boring. It's bad enough to have to go to one, but to have to talk about one is completely unreasonable.

Went to a summer one recently. The bride was so stressed out. It was an OK wedding . Just OK. Worst thing was noone could hear the service. And before the couple walked down the aisle and we could clap the celebrant gave a talk about how you throw confetti properly . Ruined what should have been a spontaneous moment . Was it for the 'gram ? I don't know .

I dont disagree with you but I am not sure what is more annoying the people getting married over the guests that turn an invitation into a war

I didn’t initiate talk about the wedding prep but lots of my friends did ask about it and were interested. I am also interested in other people’s wedding details. Up to the same point I’m interested in anything else about them. Anything gets boring if you’re going on and on.

Weddings are fun! Don’t be such a miserable git!

I agree to some extent. But I was very very excited for my sisters wedding. I got to enjoy it whilst being part of the planning and the day.

Ah, I see the issue is really you need to make friends with people you actually like. 😆

Are you talking about someone whose name starts with D?!

I couldn’t agree more - I’m happy for them but I do not need to know what you’ve picked up for free this week as part of the decorations, or how the seating plan is coming along (it’s 8 months away and invitations haven’t been sent yet - only save the dates!)

Do you really need 6 friends and the bride to be at your personal shopper appointment?

As for deciding on the cheese board -well it’s a huge relief to know that’s been finalised!

Lol there were a lot of people more excited for my wedding than I was. Don't get me wrong, very happy to have been marrying my now husband, but I'd have been happy with basic ceremony and two witnesses. We had to invite people and have a reception because of everyone else's excitement. It was really lovely and I'm glad we did it, and that people enjoyed it and who wanted to come was able to come, but I was an anxious mess the whole day.

Yeah all those happy people having fun, makes me wanna puke

DH and I regarded it as pretty much equivalent to signing a mortgage, which we’d done years before — both times we did it with only the required number of witnesses and went out for an expensive lunch afterwards!

If weddings are the peak happiness you ever see then I feel sorry for you.

I agree, it's become all very performative and keeping up with the SM displays and a lot more bride centric to the point of exposing some narcissistic traits.

We focused on our guests, making sure the day didn't impact negatively on them and that they enjoyed the day and truly celebrated the beginning of our marriage.

I couldn't care less, in fact I do my best to avoid these situations! 😄

Whoah, hold your grumpy horses, who said anything about peak happiness

I actually feel like other people cared more about our wedding day than we did 😂

We got married in the local registry office with just our parents attending and then went out for afternoon tea, followed by DH having a night in a local hotel. His suit was from Matalan and my dress was £70 in Debenhams 🙈

The number of people who told us we’d regret it and should spend more money or throw a big party was ridiculous - interestingly all those people are either single or are now divorced 😬

Can’t relate. Always happy and excited to hear wedding plans, genuinely interested in every last detail.

I disagree.

When my brothers got married my sister in laws asked me to be their bridesmaids and I was so ridiculously excited and loved hearing every detail. My best friend got married last year, and I loved it when she would text me asking questions/having a moan or a panic/telling me the tiny details, and another friend gets married in 2027 and im very excited and love hearing about it all.

Can I add, that there's nothing as dull in life as other people's children.
Signed
Married, mother of three.

This may be literally true, but it's a bit cynical.

Yanbu. Chair covers and the correct shade of navy for the wedding invitations to match the bridesmaid dresses are exceedingly dull first hand, never kind second hand.

I feel like the context matters here.

of course no one is going to be AS excited as the bride (and groom) but has someone actually said why aren't you as excited as me? or do they just gush about it a lot and expect you'll happily listen to their happiness?