Should I just put my money directly in the bin?

[ThedaBara]

My daughter has mild SEN, goes to a mainstream school and is doing well.
Over the years she has managed to lose nearly every item of clothing i have provided her with for school - she came home wearing someone else's socks once and couldn't explain where hers had gone!

She's in year 6 now and her school are doing leavers hoodies. She's had hers a week and it's gone. I do have to buy her another one, everyone else in class wears theirs daily and she's very distressed at being the only one without one. She's offered for it to come out of her savings, which i won't do, but it shows that she understands that all these things cost money.

What can i do to improve this situation? She'll be going to secondary next year and I can't buy her a new blazer for every day of the year!

Grateful for any tips from parents with SEN, or butter fingered children!

We have a key safe too so no keys leave the house...just make sure its put back immediately.
School uniform i ended up embroiding the surname then later initials onto jumpers/blazers to ensure they made the way back to us.
Its a pain

I had one of these. I considered Lost & Found box at school to be a one in one out system!
So even though I rarely found my child’s ACTUAL water bottle/pencil case/cardigan/ shirts etc I would take another unmarked equivalent.
Sometimes eventually I would find my child’s item in the lost property box but often months after it had disappeared.

Wow...you would take another child's lost item because your child lost theirs? What if that child comes back looking for it and you have taken it?

Not what you asked but if you buy an ultra fine permanent pen (ie for artists), you can write your mobile number on the label. We did this for DD’s fave cuddly toy. Good luck.

Schools do have lost property, do you try to recover stuff? Also, many schools let parents recycle/ 'sell' (for 50p) items at the end of the year. I got involved with this, which reduces waste and costs, as I'd use these sales as a chance to stock up on uniform.

Alomg with a name tag, could you also do a phone number?

She's offered for it to come out of her savings, which i won't do

Why not? She might take more care of her stuff if she had to pay for it.

”She goes to the most fay and mimsy school for wimps imaginable”

Sorry @ThedaBara but this made me properly laugh.

I feel your pain, though: I have 2 with ADHD and I swear on all that’s good and holy in this world that I’ve kitted their entire school out in jumpers etc.

Look don’t let it come completely out of her savings. Lots of well intentioned people here commenting. I’m guessing those people have not had to navigate the fine balance between getting a SEN child to work with you (and not lose the jumper or to pay more attention) and getting completely overwhelmed to the point where they are having huge meltdowns and even potentially not going to school.

If you overload the child with SEN, they cannot cope and the fallout could be massive and not swiftly resolved.

It is a delicate balance.

I did have a school child with sen and I do appreciate children are different , but my child needed some guidance to take some reapisibility for forgetting things or losing things, so sometimes she did have to contribute towards a missing item or even face the consequences of not looking after stuff, I don't think swooping in and saving them every time especially as they are a bit older and heading to secondary is beneficial.

We use those really heavy duty stickers that can go through the dishwasher, washing machine etc.

Each child has their own bright colour and a picture on it as well as their name and a phone number. So child one has bright green with a red heart on, child two has orange with a green tree on, child three has blue with a yellow star on. They go on EVERYTHING, in the most obvious location (label at the nape of the neck of jumpers, on the front of the swimming bag, in the back of the waistband of trousers).

The visual cue seems to work much better than normal name labelling.

Yup! Would and did. Not if it had a name on it though, only unmarked ones and not straight away. After a couple of weeks checking for our actual lost item. Which some other kid was probably wearing…

At the end of each term school have so much lost property that they put it out as a take for free anyway by the school gets! Then at year end send email after email asking people tonPLEASE come and check for their kids stuff and warning anything left at the end of the school year is going to go to local uniform exchange if in good condition or be recycled if not.

It boggles the mind...wait for the end of term then.

Boggles the mind? Trump getting elected twice boggles the mind. String Theory boggles the mind. Taking an unmarked school jumper from lost property after losing the exact same jumper rather than buying another new one - less mind boggling.

I would buy her a new leavers hoodie for Christmas - 1) she has to wait until Christmas to get it 2) she has one less present 3) tell her and you’ll find out whether the hoodie is important or not

AirTags are good especially if you add it to her phone as it’ll do a notification to tell her when she’s left it behind

With DS2, who has ADHD, we found putting a second bag (just a cloth tote thing) inside his school bag really helpful on PE days or when he had a club. He had to put what he was taking off straight in the small bag as it came off, then he could get his PE kit/karate things out of his school bag. Once everything was out, he put the tote bag back inside the school bag. He then did it in reverse at the end. It stopped him putting things down mid-change and forgetting to pick them back up.

He also had a luggage label on his peg with a list of things to check at the end of the day, which reduced the number of times he left his water bottle/pack up/book bag.

Now he's at secondary, he has specific pockets in his bag for things, so he doesn't have to hunt when he gets to each lesson, and (like pp mentioned) he says he puts things in there on autopilot now. He still does the tote bag system on PE days, and we've only lost one rugby shirt and one trainer since he started. He's in Y8 now, so it's getting better!

To third this, names on all items! It's the only way.

My only advice would be to write the name and your mobile number into clothes, with ‘reward given if found’

All kids loose things… but adding reward given has meant that all lost property gets returned!

1. Tiles in/ on everything
2. name labels with your phone number - game changer.

Mum to 3 ND kids!

https://amzn.eu/d/36bhtHD

retractable keychain which can’t be detached from the key safe. Long enough to reach the door!

I’ve got many things on these.
including hairbrushes - you can drill a hole in the handle if there isn’t one.

Proper embroidered name labels, securely machine sewn into every item. The iron-on, stamp-on, write-on ones fade quickly. Is there a dress code type thing for bags etc, or can you buy her something really stand-out and eye-catching so she can recognise it and others won't pinch it?

We also have tiles. With the subscription so it tells you if you are too far away from them.

slim ones in wallets/bags. Stick on ones on earbud case and headphones. Normal ones on keys, lanyard for work pass.

Its easier as an adult with a desk because you can have work things that stay there to avoid the leaving things in the wrong place.

KEY SAFE seriously get a key safe now dont tell them its there but its there if needed

The additional bag is an excellent level up to what we are doing. High praise!

School blazers are actually really useful or ADHDers. Plenty pockets and you have to wear it. Men’s suit jackets are similarly blessed unlike stupid inconsistent womens clothing. I’m steadily organising a work wardrobe which has consistent pockets every day.