To not want to be naked in sauna

[lollypoppy123]

I’m going to a fancy hotel in Germany with an amazing spa but I’ve just found out the spa is textile free which means no clothes whatsoever allowed. I’m really uncomfortable with this as I’ve had a mastectomy and my reconstruction is pretty ugly. Even without that, I’d feel weird being naked with strangers.

I’ve never been to a German spa but I would assume / hope the lighting is quite low, so you’re not staring starkly at each others brightly lit bodies!
In my limited spa experience it’s pretty dimly lit.

GehenSieweiter · Today 10:25
Us Brits are prudes, so are folk from the US, this is widely known but also quite amusing.

So why are your comments being addressed to me?

From all the replies here, it's clear that people do notice the details of others' bodies, even if they apparently don't let their gaze 'linger'.

So they are looking and judging, even if that judgement is, 'oh, it's nice to see a saggy/scarred/imperfect/ordinary body because it makes me feel better about mine' or possibly 'gosh, they've got a nice figure' or something like that. And any of those are thoughts that, personally, I wouldn't feel comfortable for random people to have about my naked body.

Given that, I would feel much too self-conscious to be totally naked in a spa. But it sounds like keeping a towel wrapped around yourself is possible, which seems both hygienic and more than enough coverage.

It's polite to tag folk when you quote them, what's your point though?
Us Brits are prudes compared to lots of other nations when it comes to nakedness.

My comments are not being addressed to you in general, however I've responded where I felt necessary. This thread isn't just aout how you might feel.

There is a difference between looking and seeing though. Of course you will see naked bodies at a German sauna. You are going to register what people look like. People will also see you. Nobody is invisible. However it is Sauna etiquette not to actively look at someones genitalia. Just imagine how people behave with each other when clothed. You wouldn’t stare at someones crotch or chest area if they had clothes on. People behave with the same level of respect when naked in the sauna. Yes you might catch a glimpse but nobody is diverting their eyes in that direction and making it weird.

It seems like people both look and see. Obviously they don't stare, but I think it's disingenuous to say people aren't noticing and judging others' bodies, considering both the comments on this thread, and the fact that people can't help but see what's in their eyeline.
I suppose it's quite normal to those who grew up with it (?), and fairly sensible in terms of hygiene, but for those who consider nudity to be a more private thing it sounds very exposing.

I can honestly say, having been brought up in the UK, that when I go to a European sauna, I don’t look in that gawping way.

@OtterlyAstounding Its hard to describe, but i (german) genuinely see less of a person’s body in the sauna naked compared to seeing the same person fully clothed outside. Discussing with friends (male and female), it’s the same.
There is a “block” in place that is hard to describe. Its just so absolutely not done to judge/perceive someone’s body in this environment that we genuinely do not. The only way i can describe it is “internal pixelation “ - my brain blends out everything

No one will be taking the slightest bit of notice of you because it’s the norm in Germany

After the initial embarrassment I can assure you you just won’t care

You’ll feel quite liberated and you’ll enjoy the Spa

Fair enough! Although if that's the case, I wonder why so many people talk about it being positive because it exposed them to ordinary/scarred/imperfect bodies? If they don't see them, then how do they know? It seems very contradictory when people say that no one notices what's right in front of them, and simultaneously, that it was good to see 'normal' bodies. Or is that something that only foreigners do, maybe?

Personally, I'd keep the towel around my waist at least, even in a woman-only spa, although I imagine I'd be considered a prude for not being more liberated. There's something about being wholly nude that feels very unpleasantly vulnerable. Although I guess if you grew up with it, there aren't the same feelings of vulnerability.

I think this (and other comments on this thread) completely misunderstands and minimises the impact of having a mastectomy. For many women it leads to significant psychological distress over a long period of time. The NHS funds reconstruction and psychological support for this reason but the results of reconstruction are usually nothing like having a boob job and it will usually be obvious you have had cancer. It’s not about embarrassment and is not remotely comparable to being a bit overweight or having wrinkles. It’s the loss of a body part and deeply tied up with the experience of having cancer.

The idea of strangers seeing my “reconstructed” breast makes me feel panicky and at this point in time there is no way that I would feel liberated or similar as a result. I know that it would be unhelpful to my recovery so wouldn’t put myself in that situation. And I had pretty good mental health and body image before cancer and was in no way prudish.

It’s very individual and there are, of course, plenty of women who are or become proud of or antipathetic to their mastectomy scars and wouldn’t be phased by this situation. I’ve no idea where OP is on that spectrum.

I can believe that people wouldn’t stare but I do think they would notice, draw the conclusion I’ve had a mastectomy and therefore breast cancer and maybe come to some judgement about it, even if a positive one. It is unusual to see that in a relatively young woman and breast reconstruction results can be quite jarring if you haven’t seen them before. A pp talked about it being an icebreaker between women- again I absolutely wouldn’t want to discuss my previous diagnosis and treatment with someone in a spa while on holiday.

Of course, people who have visible disabilities have to deal with people noticing and potentially commenting all the time but I don’t have experience of that and don’t generally need to reveal that I’ve had cancer.

In five years time I might feel differently but you just can’t say that this would universally be a good experience for a breast cancer survivor.

I just spent 10 days in Norway with my sister who does not do saunas or nudity.

I kept bumping into the same English woman in there and the communal shower.

And then saw her later and got to use the classic line;

'I didn't recognise you with your clothes on'

Ah, the English woman I kept seeing had a double mastectomy.

Irrelevant really.

I noticed it because it was 'there'. It was not a thing.

Either good or bad. It was just there.

I lived in Germany for about 6 months when I was younger and frequently would go to the spa/ sauna frequently. A lot of the ones that I went to had a clothing side and a nude side. I've never had a problem with nudity so would always go to the nude side. It's a bit jarring at first but after a while you get used to it and it doesn't phase you. Most of the people there don't have perfect bodies. Fit toned bodies are the exception, not the rule.

Same. I never get changed in public change rooms for this reason & don't see how women should be forced to just because we are around other women.

You're not forced to do anything, entering isn't compulsory. Might a changing robe be an option for you?

No one cares about tht over there. No one looks, it's not weird or unnatural, people mind their own business. Maybe it will be a liberating experience in this way- or you canipt to not use it at all.

You are kind of forced if you want to use a gym or swim centre. Of course you can wriggle around under a towel or robe but most people don't bother & just use the toilet cubicles creating queues.

That's the reason why clothing shops ditched open change rooms years ago because they understood many people are uncomfortable publicly changing.

Go! Nobody will be looking. Have a look at the timetable and you will probably find there's mens/women's/mixed times so you can go in women only time if that helps.

I loved in Germany and LOVED going in the sauna and I have a very wobbly overweight body nobody looked, nobody cared. It would be sad to miss out!!

Also it is sooooo much nicer. Now I hate going to the sauna/hammam in the UK with a claggy wet swimming costume on me. Feels minging compared to naked/fluffy towel.

Have fun!!

The facility needs to stop people using the toilet cubicles. Honestly, facing the wall, wearing a robe, nobody really sees anything.

And how exactly would they police that?

God no. Abd I would feel the same us I was a 6ft super model. Enforced communal nudity? .......bkuuuuugggghhh .
Don't want to see wrinkly old testicles.