Flying as an unaccompanied minor at age 7

[CrispyClo]

I’m posting on behalf of my sister as she is looking for some external views on the matter.

My niece is 7, birthday was in August. She started a new school in September, which closes for Christmas a week earlier than most state schools. There don’t seem to be a lot of options for childcare during that week as not many schools here close that early so there aren’t any holiday camps.
My sister has booked my niece onto a week long camp abroad for the week. The camp is well reviewed and offers a pick up service for children flying as an unaccompanied minor. My sister initially felt this was a good idea, and booked it.
Now she is having some concerns and is unsure it’s the right choice, mainly as she appreciates 7 is quite young and while the flight isn’t particularly long, they don’t actually have someone sat with them, just cabin crew checking in. She has admitted herself she was fine with it until other people seemed to think it was a reckless parenting choice. I think it will be fine, my sister and I flew as unaccompanied minors often as our dad lived abroad, we were a bit older (maybe 10 the first time) but managed it fine.

AIBU to think my niece will be fine? She’s looking forward to the camp and doesn’t seem phased by the thought of it.

With the unaccompanied minor service you describe, I'd be just about OK with the flight IF she is fairly confident with adults she doesn't know. But the camp is worrying. It could go swimmingly but if anything goes wrong for her at 7 she would easily feel overwhelmed with no trusted adult she was confident she could turn to. There's no need to even think of extreme scenarios - imagine her being excluded by other kids, bullying, being ill.... It's too far for her parents to bring her home easily and the camp are unlikely to allow her access to a mobile phone. Few children of that age would have the resources to manage scenarios like this alone without everything quickly feeling overwhelming.

I know some go to boarding school at this age but this is a scenario where the child will have visited first with parents who will have checked they are comfortable with the staff (and even then, many are traumatized by the experience).

A more responsible decision would be to pay the same amount of money on a temporary nanny at home.

I think you're going to have very different responses not related to your actual question. I flew unaccompanied as a kid and it's lots of fun and she'll be fine. I also went on camps (not abroad) and again I loved them. Some kids might not be OK but I'm sure your sister has a good view on that. But ultimately it's likely she'll grow up pretty resilient and capable and will be looked after by paid professionals the entire time

While I'm definitely not in the "send her, it's normal" camp there are some serious helicopter parents on here. Go and get your child if they "don't like" camp? What about school, is that optional too? All that's doing is telling your child they are too fragile and Mummy will have to rescue them. And no, children don't need to "have a friend with them" on residential weeks - the whole point of them is to make friends.
As I say, my DD is happy to go to PGL, she first went to one 20 mins from home, her room mates were younger (8 and 10 I think) and were also 20 mins from home. She loves having a break from her brother who has SEN.
And the workers on these camps will be VERY experienced in small children and how to comfort them if homesick.
Also, if you think UM travel is anything like travelling as an adult - go away and do some research.

Get out of here with your ‘tiny world view’ rubbish as if most of us who wouldn’t send our 7 yr olds haven’t been further than our own front gates. I’ve actually lived in Switzerland and have pretty much travelled the ‘four corners’ of the world. I wouldn’t do it and when my kids dad lived abroad he came here to see them.

If you can’t see the difference between shipping your child off alone to a foreign country and a 8:30-3pm school day I’m concerned for you

My 8yo went on his first PGL summer holiday camp this year for 5 days - he loved it. I wouldn’t have “farmed him out” if he hadn’t been keen to go but when I floated the idea with him he literally jumped up and down with excitement.

I just asked him if he would go on a ski camp in another country (hypothetically!) and he gave a very enthusiastic “YES!”

No, 7 is too young. People who put their own wants before their child's needs will always throw in the old 'they don't need to be wrapped in cotton wool' trope. It's an excuse for shit parenting in many cases. My children are adults now, but we would never have considered this.

Thank you. I was lucky - once it was clear I wasn't settling in after four terms my parents brought me home and I moved to a local day school. I did try to hide my unhappiness from them, I know they thought it was for the best. I also know how much my mum regretted it when she realised how awful I found it.

Hell would freeze over before any of my DC boarded. Our eldest DD needed to change schools more than was ideal due to job/house moves. It was our family which provided her with stability though, not a school.

@Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g I didn’t say I agreed with it. And I doubt very much it were people in their social circle. I cannot understand why you’d send your children to BS if you really didn’t need to, there are some incredibly damaged people out there because of boarding.

It won’t stop though and I’m quite surprised someone has even posted asking for an opinion.

The flight wouldn’t bother me too much, it’s short and she will be accompanied throughout but I think a week so far away from home would be too much for 7, what if she had an accident and needed hospital treatment- how quickly could a parent get there?
my 8 year old would be terribly home sick, I think a nanny for the week would be a nicer experience and save the camps until she’s a few years older

Absolutely no way I would countenance this!

I think as far as the flight goes the parcel analogy isn't really that accurate, if done properly it's more analogous to kids going on a school trip with teacher and/or older sister looking after them and their paperwork.

A significant number of minors travelled very succesfully n this manner over many decades with multiple airlines, so I'm not sure why this aspect of the plan is so controversial...I can however see why the camp idea is raising eyebrows.

Travelling unaccompanied is an opportunity most children dont get....done well, it could aid confidence, resilience and result in a worldliness that are an advantage in life....but with the camp in the mix too it could easily end up too testing for a 7 year old...at best mentally tiring and at worst traumatic.

Maybe make the best of privilege and wait a couple of years or so for unaccompanied flights, perhaps with parents/relatives at the other end the first few times...see how she does.

I flew unaccompanied at 6 years old on a long haul flight. Was well taken care of by the cabin crew and my family were at the airport waiting for me. However, life was different back then and people flying were well heeled in general with far fewer problem pax. I’d be terrified now and would only consider it in an extreme circumstance. As for going to a camp abroad at 7, no way Jose!

I think for me it's the combination of flying unaccompanied AND the camp abroad. Just one of those things could be absolutely fine for a child that age but both is just too much imo.

Oh my goodness people are projecting!

To me it sounds like they have gone out of their way to find an exciting holiday activity for the child that they are looking forward to going to. There’s nothing at all to suggest the child is generally neglected or farmed out.

Yes arguably they have been over ambitious in their plans as it’s at the very borderline of how much you can challenge a child of that age but there is nothing at all to suggest the child has had a traumatic childhood!

It's not projecting. This is about a 7 year old girl.

Too much indeed. Most of us are in agreement about this. I doubt it will alter any plans though.

My DS plays elite level sport and has been away on residential camps from age 7 each year although not as long as a week and not abroad

I don't really see how this is comparable?

Even putting aside that it is not for a week, nor abroad, my DN has also been training in her elite sport since age 5, and also went on her first camp at age 7. However, that is not travelling alone. She was also with the coaches and team that she had been training with for two years and knew really well.

All pretty different, imo.

OP, are you actually the parent in this scenario?

Our son went to weeks camps from age 9. But it was a uk camp and we dropped off. He could call every day and we could come and get him if needed as it was only an hour away.
I do work with people that were sent to overseas boarding schools from age 7 though. I imagine the kids that go on these abroad camps are very used to travelling alone and staying away. Kids who usually go to boarding school overseas for example.
I would think it's a bit crazy if the child has not spent a week awag alone before and is not used to travelling, to be sent overseas on their own for a week with strangers.

I don’t think I’d see flying alone at the age of 7 as an opportunity. Most of us haven’t done that and are not in the least bit poorer off by it.

It’s clearly projecting to think the child already has some kind of abandonment trauma when there is nothing to suggest she has experienced anything of the sort.

Yes, there is near consensus that the camp plan sounds over-ambitious but it doesn’t follow that this is some cold hearted parent looking to palm off the child wherever it is convenient.

It also illustrates the difference between UK attitudes to children doing things alone and attitudes in other countries.

Switzerland, Belgium, Germany, Japan (countries I know) young children (6+) travel to school on their own/with a sibling on foot and by public transport. In the UK, people are ready to report to Social Serives if you leave a child alone for 5 minutes while you pop to the end of the garden!

I would be really interested to see what the correlation is between child anxiety/MH issues and this kind of helicopter parenting.

I never used the word "trauma".
Kindly read my post before criticising.
Of course she will have internalised a lot. That's what happens.