Flying as an unaccompanied minor at age 7

[CrispyClo]

I’m posting on behalf of my sister as she is looking for some external views on the matter.

My niece is 7, birthday was in August. She started a new school in September, which closes for Christmas a week earlier than most state schools. There don’t seem to be a lot of options for childcare during that week as not many schools here close that early so there aren’t any holiday camps.
My sister has booked my niece onto a week long camp abroad for the week. The camp is well reviewed and offers a pick up service for children flying as an unaccompanied minor. My sister initially felt this was a good idea, and booked it.
Now she is having some concerns and is unsure it’s the right choice, mainly as she appreciates 7 is quite young and while the flight isn’t particularly long, they don’t actually have someone sat with them, just cabin crew checking in. She has admitted herself she was fine with it until other people seemed to think it was a reckless parenting choice. I think it will be fine, my sister and I flew as unaccompanied minors often as our dad lived abroad, we were a bit older (maybe 10 the first time) but managed it fine.

AIBU to think my niece will be fine? She’s looking forward to the camp and doesn’t seem phased by the thought of it.

I recommend reading Rupert Everett’s autobiography and the chapter when he gets dropped off at Boarding School as a child that young….heartbreaking 😢

My TEEN wants to go to a summer camp for 2 weeks.

I am reluctant for her to go because she’s never been away from home for 2 weeks and will likely want to come home early (I will let her go if she really wants to).

A week away from their parents with strangers is very long for a 7yo.

Has she ever stayed away so long?
And was it with strangers?

The cost of camp and flights I would pay for a babysitter.

Surely it would have been easier/cheaper/less worrying for her (or the father) to take 5 days annual leave? Or as many other have said, hire a nanny for 5 days. Or even a babysitter from home of the many agencies out there.

My 2p? 7 is too young for this.

This. Totally alien to me but I work with young people on residentials (much older and for a particular skill shall we say). I’ll never forget the two sisters who had military parents, lived at board school and then came straight to us in the holidays for a week. Much older (started at 12) and this was Easter and summer, not Christmas. They were fecking miserable kids and totally embarrassed when having to explain the complex logistics that got them from school to us without a hint of parent support involved, and of course no one turned up for the concert at the end or the pick-up. It’s a completely outdated way to behave with children you chose to have, IMHO.

I would be seriously unimpressed if my sister and BIL proposed this for their 7year old. They should have anticipated it and booked time off work accordingly. In the days before Christmas, when a small child should be at home with her family eagerly looking forward to the big day, she’ll be packed off to strangers. Does this child not have grandparents or other aunts/uncles who could step up? Could you not look after her? IMO, it’s neglectful.

Mine have been with school holidays/Brownies so can’t wait to go again. They love being outdoors and the activities. Day holiday clubs stop at age 11 so there aren’t options for older children. Don’t want them left on their own 5 days a week for the 3 weeks in the summer their Dad or I aren’t off work.

Where in the UK does she live? As others have said, there are definitely holiday camps that run at private schools becasue they break up a week earlier than the state schools. What date does she break up? Round here privates schools break up 11/12th, state schools on the 19th December and there are holiday clubs week commencing 15th December.

Pick you up to take you to a camp? It’s just as well you didn’t mind all that as I don’t know what their plan B would have been if you’d hated it.

Obviously posters, including myself, can only really opine on how they would personally feel, either as the child or as the parent. Everyone has their own ‘normal’ and letting my kids fly alone to a camp abroad is about as far from my normal as I can think.

Don’t talk to people as though they are stupid !
A 7 year old child is too young to travel anywhere unaccompanied, even to the bathroom in the cinema without an adult that is very well known to them waiting outside the door ..
Yes , we know how well the child will be looked after on board the plane , Once again , THE CHILD IS 7 !!
Imagine then to hand your child over to a bunch of strangers in a different country that you have never met in your entire life , that your child has never met in their entire life ..
Why , oh Why do people like this have children 🫩

I went on an unaccompanied flight age 11 or 12. I flew with BA and they were great, I was taken to a lounge where I was supervised and then accompanied onto the plane. On the flight I sat next to two kids who must’ve been about 10 and 7. We stayed on the plane until everyone left then we were escorted off.

But the airport at the other end was rubbish, I had to ask where I was supposed to go and I sat in an office with some random airport men for a couple of hours until the internal flight left. On the way back I just swerved them and went to departures because it was so boring (which obviously shouldn’t have been able to happen - they should’ve escorted me or considered me missing if I’d checked in and not turned up to the office).

I wouldn’t put a 7yo on a flight personally, but clearly it does happen as those two kids said they’d done the flight before. But if there are internal flights then I’d be very wary (although I went on my flight about 23 years ago now)

Both my kids hated being away from home for longer than necessary. My eldest wanted to come home early from his first sleepover which was only for one night and a walk away. They went to private senior school and I’d occasionally ask them if they wanted to book the boarding for a few days (day pupils could be booked in like a holiday let). They always said no (even though it was only a ten minute train journey from home 😁).

Being homebodies growing up didn’t affect their independence at all as they got older. One is living at a uni campus and the other lives with his gf. No concerns about their abilities to be independent as young adults. So I don’t put any weight on the so-called advantages of travelling alone very young as being an important skill for personal growth and independence.

Well yes, if she's looking for an echo chamber, that's the place to go.

Seven-year-olds do not have the life experience and maturity to make big decisions for themselves. They should never be placed in the position of having to. If asked by parents about something they can easily see the parent wants them to do, of course they're going to say they'd be fine with it. They may very well believe it too. The reality could be quite different, as an adult or much older child could foresee and prepare for.

We have Norwegian friends who regularly worked for long periods in Sweden, France and Germany. As a result, their two children flew between them as UM on a regular basis. They never flew at this age alone. It's far too young. The posters who are blithely saying 'I did it and I was fine,' obviously had a positive experience. A positive experience is not guaranteed, and 7 is too young to process or navigate difficult or uncomfortable situations.

No idea about the camp. My DC all absolutely loathe residential camps for various reasons so I don't have a unbiased view.

People who are happy to send a 7 year old off alone
Just because something exists doesn't mean its ok

So handed around like a parcel then? I can’t even imagine how anyone could countenance this. I’d be (fairly) confident the child wouldn’t actually go missing but eat abkut any distress? And not wanting to even eyeball the people who’d be looking after her for a week? Like most others, I’m pretty horrified at this

I assume you're not being serious about 52 weeks but when I boarded (a while ago now) there was another girl who never went home. She used to spend the holidays with a teacher.

The youngest boarder we had was 8. She used to cry so much. I didn't do much better at 11 tbh. It was indescribably horrible.

And in my limited experience, the children who enjoy week long residential camps are a) older and b) with their friends, not complete strangers

How did you feel when you were transferred to the camp where you knew no-one?
Loved it too.

Someone mentioned that it depends on the child and that really is what it comes down to. It disturbs me how in MN world, all kids are the same unless they are neuro divergent, then they are all different.

As a kid, I loved being around different people and being with strangers didn't bother me. I was the one helping the less confident kids. I loved all the attention. My eldest was just the same and would hav been perfectly fine too. My youngest.... definitely not.

You adjust to each child and whilst it might be true that the majority would prefer not to go to such camp and travel with strangers, some kids do feel perfectly at ease in that environment.

That all sounds so sad. I hope you’re doing better now anyway @ThreeWordUsername

The OP mentions that her sister has been taken aback by the number of people she's mentioned this to who don't think it's a good idea. I imagine a lot of them are in her own social circle, so I hope this means that people with the money to do this sort of thing are increasingly realising that it's damaging to children and looking for other solutions. Over the years I've heard and read many ex-boarders talking about their experiences and the majority seem to have put their foot down and refused to send their own children away to school. As it must be eyewateringly expensive, even those who would like to do it will probably stop if there is less social cachet attached to being a boarder.

I feel very fortunate to have grown up in a family where the nearest we got to boarding was the Chalet School and Enid Blyton books I got from the library. For me it was like reading fantasy fiction. I just can't imagine being sent away from home like that.

It is that strange. Really, it is.

I used to love my residential camps. I never knew anyone at the beginning, and most kids were the same unless they came with a sibling.

This thread is the perfect example of why children are growing more than ever riddle with anxiety, low self esteem and no resilience whatsoever.

Even when kids are showing an interest in doing such things, they are not given a chance to enjoy themselves because of the sensational risks parents see at every corner. These very minimal risks as opposed the very high probability their behaviour will leads to kids who will become anxious doing the most mundane things as teenagers and young adults.

Middle (and upper) classes. OP and her DSis did this as kids so it’s considered normal in their world. The DC will be super independent by the age of 10!
And when their independence will lead them to better things, the other mums will cry how unfair it is!

Yes, these weak, thick lower middle and working class people with their weird ideas about children needing the security and familiarity of home and family when they are very young! Obviously we are all insane and the children of the super rich are genetically superior and more resilient than our puny offspring.

FFS.