Flying as an unaccompanied minor at age 7

[CrispyClo]

I’m posting on behalf of my sister as she is looking for some external views on the matter.

My niece is 7, birthday was in August. She started a new school in September, which closes for Christmas a week earlier than most state schools. There don’t seem to be a lot of options for childcare during that week as not many schools here close that early so there aren’t any holiday camps.
My sister has booked my niece onto a week long camp abroad for the week. The camp is well reviewed and offers a pick up service for children flying as an unaccompanied minor. My sister initially felt this was a good idea, and booked it.
Now she is having some concerns and is unsure it’s the right choice, mainly as she appreciates 7 is quite young and while the flight isn’t particularly long, they don’t actually have someone sat with them, just cabin crew checking in. She has admitted herself she was fine with it until other people seemed to think it was a reckless parenting choice. I think it will be fine, my sister and I flew as unaccompanied minors often as our dad lived abroad, we were a bit older (maybe 10 the first time) but managed it fine.

AIBU to think my niece will be fine? She’s looking forward to the camp and doesn’t seem phased by the thought of it.

If you want to emotionally and mentally damage your child for life send them to a boarding school at 7. Just because it exists doesn’t mean it’s right.

Hell would freeze over before I sent my 7 (!!) year old , alone, to an abroad camp for a week without me. It can have all the good star reviews it likes.

Same for the flight.

How terrifying for that child.

Unless your niece doesn’t receive much emotional nurturing currently then it might be business as usual I suppose. Hence why perhaps the lack of surprise at some of the negative responses to your question….

I’m less concerned about the flight than the week long camp abroad on her own. Seven seems far too young for this. Will she know anyone? Are her friends going or will it literally all be strangers? I couldn’t imagine doing this when my daughter was primary school age

I flew as an unaccompanied minor from age 8 and hated it. I would not do this to a 7 year old, or to a child on any age too young to fly alone without accompaniment (possibly 16 would be the earliest, depending on the child).

I posted early on the thread that sending a 7 year old to a camp abroad where she doesn't know anyone is a terrible idea.

Reading later responses has made me think again about the flight. I know that the airlines have very strict systems so that unaccompanied minors are safe. I don't have a problem when families need to do this eg a child is travelling between parents who will be there at each end of the flight.

But it's only just struck me how selfish it is to put a child on a flight alone when it's not a matter of necessity.

The airline will probably sit the child next to a woman. Cabin crew will regularly check in on the child but I bet most female passengers who find themselves seated next to a child will feel obliged (from instinct or from social conditioning) to care for that child. I can (apart from a few minutes of initial introductory small talk) ignore an adult stranger next to me for a few hours but couldn't do that to a young child.

OP I think you’re asking the wrong demographic. What your sister is suggesting for your niece just isn’t something the average British family would do. In some families this would be totally normal. I’ve considered services for unaccompanied minors on flights for my children before when we’ve had issues being between the UK and abroad although never had to go ahead with it - it’s common for international families to use these services. My DS plays elite level sport and has been away on residential camps from age 7 each year although not as long as a week and not abroad, so if your niece is happy to go there isn’t an issue. Loads of kids enjoy a residential camp. Just not that many families in the UK do this!

I agree but boarding school is different in that at least their friends and familiar teachers will be there and they know the environment and see it as an extension of home to a degree. A foreign country and bunch of strangers for a week after a solo flight is just wild to me at age 7

@CrispyCloYou said yourself though that you were 10 when you went to camp. Three years at that age is vast. You also continue to say children board at 7 in the UK; does your niece board now?

I went to camp aged around 10 and absolutely loved it but it was a day camp and we went home every late afternoon. Age 7 is far too young for me to think about sending a child on an overseas camp, let alone with the addition of a flight.

I flew across the Atlantic unaccompanied at 8 years old, but I was with my cousin and brother. Whenever I want to tease my Mum about her parenting flaws, I bring this out! Very much depends on the child I suppose. I’d let my son do this but not when he was 7. He’s 16 now and I’d just about consider it, he’s a very confident flyer and not afraid of turbulence etc.

Are you from the UK? Camps away from home are not a thing here. I appreciate they are a huge thing in America and having worked in one can see how well ran they are. However I wouldn't allow a 7 year old to fly as a unaccompanied minor or go to an overseas camp. Can she not do what other parents do and take time off work? Having been the child of parents who always prioritised working (very long hours) and had little time for me i would say don't under estimate the damage it does to a child.

I’m not horrified by the flight, I think that part is fine. My sister’s kids flew unaccompanied to the Middle East frequently as young kids due to their dad living there. However, no way would I be sending my kid to a camp in another country at the age of 7, that’s the odd bit for me. And the fact that your sister is now questioning her decision says it all. I get it, it’s hard for working parents, especially single mums (is she? ) to juggle child care and school holidays and she’s panicked and gone for what she thought was a good option. But now she’s seeing it through rational eyes and realising it’s not the most sensible idea. She’s still got time, she needs to cancel camp and maybe look into a temporary nanny or a childminder, something like that.

I flew to LA unaccompanied at 9, and it's not as scary or dramatic as a lot of others are making out, a member of airport staff met me from my parents and didn't leave my side until she handed me over at the gate to a cabin crew member who took responsibility for me, it was like travelling with a babysitter, maybe your post should have asked for thoughts from people who actually have experience of traveling (or sending their kids unaccompanied) 🤣 then you wouldn't just be getting opinions from people imagining pulling up at the short stay car park in the terminal and waving off a 7 year old and their case

Sounds perfect and critically she’s up for it.
she’s going through two very safe airports. The Swiss will be absolutely on it on the other side
I don’t think you can come onto mumsnet and get a sane view tbh - the mere fact of her breaking up earlier, and then being a club in Switzerland speaks to not your average person’s experience, but they’ll all chime in with their tiny world view about how terrible this is (as they have already done to your sister in every day life)

Just because schools accept boarders from age 7, does that mean it's ok? They're still babies at 7. A UK camp is completely different from one abroad.

My husband boarded from a young age, and although absolutely lovely, he's got his own hang ups about it (as do his friends... Some very troubled). My mother used to fly internationally as a minor with her younger brother from the age of 9, brother being 7. She too clearly has her own issues surrounding it and has vocalised many times how awful she thinks it is now she's older.

I think people have said time and time again that the issue isn't the flight.
Perhaps you haven't read those posts.

Is this camp with the SJAS, the organisation for the Swiss abroad? If so people are being ridiculously over the top in their comments. They are run by the Swiss government and the staff are normally teachers who opt to participate as part of their national service. Our children went for years - skiing or snowboarding in the winter and amazing summer camps too. They had experiences that it would be impossible to repeat with any other organisation. The staff on Swiss Air are great, they were always looked after really well and the camp staff are there for the hand over at Zurich airport. You just need to make sure that it will be suitable for your child, ours were never homesick as they were too busy!

Is that definitely how it is?

My 14 y.o. flew unaccompanied minor on BA to europe last year. It was literally a case of dropping at security this end and his aunt meeting him in arrivals the other end.

Does she have a phone? I got 3 calls between security and boarding the plane to check stuff.

I spent every school holiday, from age 5, going to visit my dad who lives in another country. Airline staff made a fuss of me, made sure I had colouring in books etc and I loved it. I say if your niece is happy to go and looking forward to it there’s no issue

Once again. It's not so much the flight. It's the whole deal.

I have worked in safeguarding I just could not do it. Your sister does not know the staff and neither does her child. Encouraging a child to fly miles and be collected by a stranger isn’t great. I just wonder what that is teaching her? Boarding school is different, the same staff and children. I do think you would get a different response if this was a US site. Over here children do clubs with staff that they know.

My similarly age child wouldn’t go to the toilet in a restaurant alone last night, and I had to go and wait outside the door because it was ‘too scary’ by herself, even though we could see the door to the loos from our table. The idea that she could fly on a plane alone seems bonkers to me

This!!
I can't quite believe this is something that your sister would even contemplate 😱. Sending a SEVEN year old out of the country, alone, no familiar adult, to go to a freaking holiday camp??
Honestly I'm a relaxed parent and generally don't really question other people's parenting decisions, it's not my business and we're all different. But this is a new level of insanity, I can't quite believe your replies defending her 😱.

The flight wouldn’t be the concern for me, I flew as an unaccompanied minor to visit family from about 5 and always had a great time.
The camp abroad at age 7 -absolutely not.
i have also seen plenty of day camp at private schools for that week. I’m struggling with the following week but certainly won’t be sending my child abroad as a solution!

“ Pearl clutchers “ , no just good parents ..
Of course you will find these camps sell out every year , lots of shit parents out there..
Sending their 7 year alone over seas to a foreign country for a week , not even have had their communion yet . It should actually be against the law , the child is 7 !!!!!!
OP has said how much her niece would like to go , just shows how use she is of her mother shipping her off here & there ..

The majority of uk families don’t do boarding schools or camps. So to us as the audience of this question, rightly or wrongly, it seems like a pretty crazy idea. I couldn’t have my child spend a week with adults who I’d never met. And because it’s not something I’ve ever done, or ever known anyone else to do, the thought of my daughter in an airport without a family member would send me in to a blind panic.

At 7?

Dismissing people's concerns about safeguarding and the wellbeing of small children as them being 'silly' hasn't ever ended well.

My dc have done loads of residential stuff, I went to boarding school myself. We are not all objecting to the insanity of this proposal because we're poor gauche country mice. It's because she is only just 7.

All these people pushing so hard to normalise this, and laugh off any concerns - dp yup spend your time laughing at schools who ask for children to be collected and signed in and out of schools until year 5/6? Or thinking leisure centres are ridiculous for not allowing to parents to leave under 8s on the premises during a swimming lesson? Or at Ofsted for having ratio requirements for this age group?

Why do you think anyone bothers with any measures at all?