To cancel our holiday because of the cats?

[crisikrinkles]

I know this is going to sound crazy but here goes
Me and my partner have two cats who are 4.
One boy and one girl,the girl is very nervous.
We are going to mexico next weekend for 14 nights.
They are going to my Dads.
We live a hour from my Dad and he’s in his 80s so can’t travel daily to check on them.
They stay every holiday but I worry constantly.
My dad has a spare room which he has a cat tree and blankets and toys for them and they have the upstairs of the house.
He has a dog and he has downstairs.
Theres a downstairs door which has a chain on to stop dog getting up and then a door at the top which is locked with a chain too.
He goes out one day a week for two hours for shopping .
Im terrified he will forget to lock the door and then the dog will then somehow get through the other door to the cats.
(so there’s two seperate locked doors between them )
or they will run out of the front door when my dad opens it (even tho there’s another locked door between that door )
Would aibu to cancel holiday ?
Partner would got crazy I think
I dont know what to do
They have stayed

Lurchers can chase down and kill a cat in confined space. I’d be just as anxious.

Tbh I’m not anxious about him managing both of them as he is perfectly healthy
Does his own decorating ,walks with the dogs 3 times a day .etc
Plus he has said the cats are easy to look after
Feed them twice a day and they are gappy
For me my anxiety is around bad things happening like cats getting out,dog getting cats,dad falling down the stairs whilst walking up to feed them etc

It sounds crazy to right it all down but it’s how my anxiety manifests

This is exactly my thought
I see the image in my head all the time
It terrifies me

I understand completely. The way I got around a similar situation was to get a cat sitter. It was not absolutely ideal. She wasn’t brilliant. But cat was in its own house while i was away so that stress wasn’t on him. And she fed him each day. And he was safe.

I took on my cat from my child’s friend on condition that my child would look after him when I was away. Then my child got a partner with 2 lurchers. I looked after them in my house once to see how they would get on. I ended up locked in a room with my cat with the dogs going crazy in another room. It was so clear it could not work. So i get a cat sitter. The only safeguard that you could do in your dads is get a high shelf put in. Your wee cats would head straight for there if the dog got in accidentally. Cats are not daft.

Could you put up a camera in the room so you can check on them when you feel extra worried? I know its OTT but your anxiety is going to ruin your holiday.

definitely. Blink camera on the room as well as a wee shelf just above height dog can reach. Then have nice holiday :-)

OP you have my deepest sympathy because my anxiety goes through the roof every time we go on holiday due to worrying about our cat. She goes to a cattery where they all know and love her, but she hates being away from home and the stress of catching her and getting her into the carrier gives me sleepless nights. It puts me off booking holidays to be honest.

I'm actually envious of your setup. If my girl had a house to move into with someone she knows it would make things a lot more bearable. I'm sure that your Dad is meticulously careful with your cats and with two locked doors between them the dog and the outside they should be fine.

Having said that that please don't dismiss the idea of a cattery because it's amazing how quickly they adapt, and it's a comfort to know that, although my girl might be a bit miserable, at least I know that she's warm, well fed and very safe.

I have a cat tree with a high perch at my dads
and a bit where they can hide In
Do you think this would work ?
I wouldn’t do a camera as it’s my dads home and I would feel like I was invading his privacy a little

@TamzinGreyhonestly it’s awful ,I feel so guilty and all I do is worry about them when I’m away…

A blink camera in the room where your cats are wouldn’t invade his privacy. You’d tell him it’s there. They are very easy to setup and cost very little. A shelf high up where a dog can’t reach is the normal think in a house with both dogs and cats. Both these things are very doable. If your not wanting any solutions though??

@TamzinGreyyeah he is careful,he leaves downstairs and closes that door ,goes up to the cats ,goes in the room,shuts door then locks it before he heads back down -my brain just thinks what if he forgets 🙈

If you don’t want solutions and just anxiety words then don’t go on your holiday. Solved for you.

They won't think this at all, cats don't really judge time in the same way. They of course will be pleased to see you when you get home.

Go and enjoy Mexico. Your Dad won't get ill and if he does Mexico is not the ends of the earth, it's a 10hr flight and the NHS would look after him while you fly back.

I’m sure they’ll be fine and you’re being very unreasonable to cancel your holiday. I think next time though I’d look at a cattery. My cat goes to a lovely cattery and gets thoroughly spoiled. I can go away knowing he is safe and well cared for.

We have 2 very loved cats and a friend moves in for the time we are away. On the first occasion one of them seemed very clingy when we got back but he seems better each time we go. I plug in a pheromone plug in a few days before we go and leave it on for the whole time. I was a bit dubious about the claims of the pheromone plug in but then I noticed my vets use them. My cats are used to freedom, playing out , running and climbing trees. I don’t think they’d cope with going to a cattery. I’m sure your dad will look after your cats.

If you aren't able to leave your pet cats to go on holiday you have some kind of anxiety disorder and need some psychological help. However I think you need to arrange a daily cat visitor - we haveone who charges £6 per day and for that she refills the timer machine with 24hrs of food (we could halve the costs with a 48hr timer if we want) and spends a bit of time of stroking and fussing and playing.

Pay for a cattery.
your elderly father shouldn’t be secluding areas of his house for cats that aren’t his.

Get a cat sitter, someone who comes in your house once or twice a day, they should be insured and have a DBS check. Or just don’t book holidays at all.

In that case I think that you should consider putting them in a cattery. There are some really luxurious ones where they get petted a lot and as there are two of them they'll have each other for company.

Once my girl has been safely settled in the cattery I can relax for my holiday because I know that nothing bad could possibly happen to her. I can understand why you feel panicky about the dog. I'd probably be the same.

Maybe you should go and visit some local catteries and talk to the owners. That's what I did and I've been really pleased with the one that I finally settled on.

Can you switch sometimes from trying to solve the cat problem to trying to solve the anxiety problem?

So CBT type techniques, reminding yourself "I have done everything I need to to make sure they are safe, I am worrying because I love them and because I'm anxious, not because there's a risk" that kind of thing. You can get lots of books on anti-anxiety techniques which might be helpful to research, so you have something with you while you're away. Distracting thoughts or breathing techniques to help you move track on to something else.

Look at it this way, if your cats are safe but you have a rubbish holiday for worrying, that would not be a success. So having made sure your cats are safe, you also need to make sure you will enjoy yourself. Because you deserve that!!

You can do this OP 😊👍

All I can think about is your dad trying to get out of the house from upstairs in an emergency. Why on earth does he have two internal doors chained and locked?!

I wouldn’t have ever taken our cats to stay with anyone because of the trauma of the journey and because I think it’s such a lot to expect someone to accommodate your cats in their home. I didn’t like the idea of having a cat sitter for a long time and so we sent out cats to a cattery for many years. They weren’t particularly happy but at least I knew they were always safe and would have immediate access to a bet if needed. But nothing would have made me cancel a holiday if they could be taken care of safely.

You either trust him or you don’t. It sounds like the issues highlighted in your post are going to play on your mind a lot so maybe cat boarding would be for the best.

I understand OP. I have 'cat welfare anxiety' that makes going away quite difficult for me.

We live in a very cat safe area, have an utterly brilliant cat sitter and also micro chip cat flaps and security cameras which means I know that the cats are using the cat flaps and the cat feeder is coming as agreed (not that I don't trust her, more 'what if she was ill etc') and I can just about cope with going away but I think in your circumstances I would put them in a cattery and try to put the guilt aside. You know they will be safe and your girl cat will have her food