My Christmas expenses look to be totalling over £1000

[Xmasdemon]

This includes decor including a tree, lights, garlands, a door wreath and other little pieces; outfits for self and child in family; presents and money gifts. Is this crazy or is this just the price of Xmas ?

Hint op

Buying things doesn’t cheer things up , it doesn’t make you happy

being creative , having a laugh , play games , time to do whatever the kids suggest - make it special

It's not the amount it's the fact you are taking from savings for something else. I personally would never spend this much but each to their own.

Lights and reusable tree are the only decs I've ever bought new/not on sale. When we moved to our current house we went to a local rummage warehouse type shop and bought loads of Xmas decs for about £15. Most of them are very 80s/90s. We had a brill day out and we laugh every year when we get them out.

We don't have a wreath or anything like that. We don't buy outfits, we just buy normal clothes as and when we need them.

We do go to family for the meal who very generously host us. We all bring a contribution, eg desserts, a bottle, etc but the hosting family member does provide a lot. But the years we have done it at home we've planned to our budget, some years very simple, others a bit more fancy.

Tree, if you really can't store one then I guess you have to accept this is a yearly cost. I'd buy real and not plastic but maybe someone else could store? We bought one for £175 4 years ago so it's coming up to basically paying for itself in terms of real trees and it's still perfect.
You don't need a wreath, kids do not care about that. If you want it, forage and make your own. Same goes for garlands. Some evergreen and holly look fab on the fireplace. We add to xmas decorations during the year. One from every holiday or weekend away. When I started i just bought enough from matalan to get started. Bulked it out with bells.
Kids don't need christmas clothes but my son has brilliant christmas jumpers from vinted x 3, all brand new costing £15 total.
I've also bought some of his presents on there, brand new with tags but a fraction of the price. Ive bought lots of little presents for his stocking. Looked at John lewis and found much of it on vinted brand new for half the cost. Rex London has amazing cheap stocking fillers and chocolate bits I've bought on offer.
Food we make our cake and pudding and we don't go overboard. A few treats and cheese, nuts and alcohol but again nothing crazy. I'd save money for experiences. Ice skating, panto or similar. Make memories.

I think you have a good point about spending money on eg pantomime than material things

I think I would feel stress worried about the money I need for the thing I need to save for. I've got a way to go with it and I am trying to get loans currently for it. I think I was just wishing on getting a loan and having savings free for xmas, but that might not happen at all, and I could be saving for quite a while instead. I think I just gathered all the Xmas items I wanted in my Next basket and got excited. I even had Christmas sheets in my basket... When I stay at my mum's the room she has spare for me is beautifully decorated and feels so cozy especially in the winter and I suppose part of it is I want to have that kind of home that people would want to come back to. I have realized through this discussion that I would be spending far too much at the current rate. I'm imagining creating wreaths and garlands myself. I would be so proud of myself but I can't say I will manage it

Why do you think I'm a journalist ?

Wow OP. Stand back and reevaluate what you are saying.

Do not get yourself into debt over one day. This is nonsense. Don’t ruin the months ahead by getting into deb. At the end of the day it’s all forgotten about the week after. But you will have a massive debt to pay off.

Give yourself a shake! We all need to snap out of this excess madness!

Yeah I think I've gotten carried away with creating the perfect Xmas !

It doesn’t exist and you will bankrupt yourself chasing “perfect”

Be present for your family, have a few gifts to open, eat together and put up some nice decorations. Honestly it will be magical. No one is going to think oh shame she didn’t buy the £75 table cover!

Never ever get into debt buying gifts! Ever!

I don't think £1000 is a lot. A lot of people will shell out £2k for a weeks holiday in the summer.

Budget :

£400 presents.
£150 drinking booze (lager, wine, champagne etc)
£100 sipping booze (spirits and port).
£50 Advent calenders
£100 fuel visiting relatives
£300 food
£150 play pantominme
£150 meals out plus the odd takeaway.
£50 decorations
£50 turn up the house heating + more energy cos at home.
£250 clothes for going out works dos. Christmas socks.
£50 misc Christmas sundries crackers, party poppers

I amn sure there is more that I have missed but that totals about 2K and is probably a more realistic budget for the average family of 4.

*this includes NYE

This conversation has got me remembering childhood Christmases at my gran's house. She doesn't go crazy decorating. She had a few ornaments out, and Xmas placemats and we had a nice meal. She had special cups as well. And it's a magical memory for me. I think there might be a psychological reason for me trying to distract myself creating an idealist Xmas, distract myself from a recent serious family fall out recently ? Its so difficult and I don't want to lose these people but being around them is affecting my mental health. So maybe I am trying to bury myself in Xmas magic without them or something I don't know. I think online shopping is really addictive too, glad I am taking time and seeking advice before buying anything ! I'm still on the fence with the whole thing to be honest but I do think I needed more balance in mind

That obscene.

The to give your kids a great Xmas is good one, but you don’t need to spend £££ in Next to achieve that.

Do you need the meal out? If its just for you and the kids I wouldn't. My kids would probably prefer a takeaway pizza 🤣🫣 But in all seriousness if its to make your life easier and treat yourself there are much cheaper ways than eating out. Buy some nice supermarket bits and skip the outfits. If it's a wider family outing get outfits on vinted.

If you don't have a tree but have space to store you can get a reusable one for £30-£40 from argos. Decs go to charity shop, home bargains etc. For a total of £100 you could buy lights, tree, decs easy. Skip the garland and get some stickers for your window from home bargains.

Leave the pj's, cushions, bedding. If you really want something for Xmas eve you can get cheap Xmas mugs from asda, etc. Get some squirty cream and marshmallows. Xmas eve find some houses near you with good lights, have a wander and home for hot choc in Xmas mugs and watch Nativity or something on the sofa under a blanket.

Arrange with your family to dial back on gifts. Nothing or secret santa for adults. Selection boxes for kids. Just tell them you are saving for a big ticket item. They won't mind.

I'm looking at a slim tree re storage space. Has anyone had one of these ? Do they look good ? I'm experimenting with cutting down my basket and have left in only a tree, 2 x Christmas outfits for self and kid for going out for dinner Xmas week, and a few small presents. Current total is £220. Feels much better. Crazy how things add up.

Have you tried a charity shop, Freecycle, etc for a tree?

There are short ~1m trees that fold up/come apart and store in a small box that could easily be stored in a wardrobe or even the car boot.

I think it's best to spend within your means. If you can afford to splash out, then why not. If you can't, simply don't. Our Christmas this year will be just over £1500 in presents alone.. but we have had a fruitful year and are deciding to treat our children because we have had years before where we have had to be very careful. If you need to be more careful this year, then do so, next year may well be different. 😊

£1000 is usually my gift budget. I have 10 to buy this year.

That sounds like a really good plan OP.

You said that you wanted to recreate the sort of home that makes people feel welcome, but honestly that comes from you and not the decor. People will respond to the warmth you put out, and it will be a lot easier for you to feel relaxed and welcoming if you're not also stressed about savings and loans.

You might not want to say on here, but if you're anywhere near Edinburgh DM me. My DM moved into a nursing home this summer, and we're just clearing her house. The Christmas tree and lights will be going spare, and you would be very welcome to have them. Otherwise, look in your local charity shops too. That's where this one will be going if noone local wants it.

Can you look on vinted/eBay for outfits, or cheaper alternatives? The same with a tree, you can have what you want, you don't need it to be brand new.
In the last week I've bought brand new with tags boots and flared leather jeans from a charity shop, jeans would be £30, boots £60, I paid £9 for the jeans and £10 for the boots.

Can of "snow" sprayed through stencils onto the window makes cheap decoration. Slim trees are fine when decorated.

It seems your children are older so cheap gifts for stockings can be toiletries - you'd buy those anyway, just get something a bit posher than usual, socks, a pack of cards, a tiny keyring torch or hand charged torch. I've seen "trees" made from a pile of books or foraged wood, or a cut out hung on the wall. you can make your own snowflakes from white paper. We used to make paper people chains. Buy a cheap roll of lining paper.

Spay pine cones with gold or silver paint.

Watch the Good Life where Christmas gets cancelled and they make paper hats from newspaper and crackers where you need to shout bang - and still have a good time.

Thank you I appreciate the offer but we are far away from each other x

You think this is realistic?

£250 on booze for a WEEK. Do you normally drink that much or is it just Christmas that means you have to have alcohol in excess?

£250 on clothes. Do you not have a large amount of clothes for going out by this point if you spend that annually?

£50 advent calendars when you can buy one for a pound? Why?

£150 pantomime when local places will do it for like a tenner a ticket, if you absolutely must go.

£50 on things to go bang and put in the bin? Why?

£50 decorations? Again, if you've been spending this annually, surely you have plenty by now?

That reduces you by £800. Presents can be budgeted within your means, doesn't need to be hundreds. Same for food. It's a roast dinner and a pud if you want it to be. Even for a party of 10 you could easy do that nicely for £100.

Telling people that £2,000 is REALISTIC when they're worried about money is not helpful and just adds to the pressure.

That’s not really that expensive.

Where are the £10 a ticket pantomimes?

We use to go to the cheapest around that was in an old air hanger. was £12pp then went up to £15pp and the £18pp and is cancelled this year. Everywhere else we looked even little local productions held in workies clubs etc... are £20+. For the 5 of us thats £100 and not even the proper 'theater' ones.

Pantomimes for £10pp certainly aren't a common thing post Covid.