To think it’s not normal to be this angry?

[Puzzlepirate]

I’m a terraced house and my neighbors one side are constantly screaming/shouting/swearing at their kids and each other. I understand everyone argues and loses their rag sometimes but surely it’s not normal to be this angry ALL the time? They started at 7am this morning, I have to turn the tv up to drown them out. I feel so sorry for the kids, they think growing up in a house like that is normal 😭 AIBU or is that just the norm nowadays?!

I would say it's normal for some people.
But that doesn't make it right, especially when there are children having to live through it.

It’s awful.

Really awful - and not at all normal no.

Really interested to hear the point of view from the person that voted in unreasonable, do you think this level of daily anger is normal?

Absolutely not normal. Once in a while ok. Not daily. Not even weekly.

Just makes me feel so sad for the kids, the youngest is only a toddler. From what I gather the partner isn’t any of the children’s dads either.

That's terrible. Poor children.

I think it is normal in some families - we have neighbours who are similar.

Doesn't mean it's okay, of course.

Our old neighbours were like that. My office adjoined to their daughter's bedroom, she must've only been about ten and it used to destroy me hearing her crying every night through the walls while her parents screamed at eachother.

We used to have neighbors like that. We dont shout in our house as a rule so to have it constantly going on in your house I thought must be incredibly stressful however I soon realised that was just their way of communicating. She would shout and swear loudly at him then come night time they would have the nosiest sex omg. She would swear at the kids and they would swear back. ( they were teenagers) . Next minute you would hear her saying to the kids” do you want a cup of tea babe?” Because they all shouted all the time, no one listened to anyone else.

Normal for abusive angry people. Have you called social services to raise a concern?

Only normal for selfish moronic arseholes who are bad parents.

When people say normal they just mean it's common - not that it's okay.

Yes. They said they already had a social worker, I’m assuming social worker gave them a call and neighbors assumed it’s me and next thing I know they’ve called my landlord to report me for various absurd untrue things as revenge (I’m assuming!) not sure what the social worker did but it’s put me off calling again. I didn’t do it out of malice, I genuinley worry for the children, I’ve heard all kinds of things being said to them :(

My old neighbours used to have screaming matches all day long. I eventually called the police because I saw their elder son, who could have been more than 8 or 9, take his little brother out into the front garden and point out all the cars going past to distract him. I’m all for not interfering, but when a child that young knows it’s time to get out of the house, they’re not safe and it’s time to do something.

presumably they are answering literally in that, factually, it is normal for some people, not that they think it should be normal or is healthy.

My old neighbours were very much the same - it really was a complete shock to the system to hear them all screaming and swearing at each other (including the young children) multiple times a day.

My mother was like your neighbours sorry no she was worse.
Wished someone would have reported her ,or someone placed me in care.
Anything would have been better than to live like I did.

Rather than calling social services- not saying you shouldn’t, just that it always has consequences for the caller- it might be worth having a quiet word with the local school/nursery (if you can ascertain where they go, perhaps from uniform) or even the health visiting team from your local GP to keep a closer eye on the family. They maintain close links with social services and won’t hesitate to contact them if they are sufficiently worried (I’m a social worker).
If things are particularly heightened then I’m afraid calling the Police is probably necessary.

Poor kids

That sounds awful.

I would consider reporting it to the kids' school safeguarding service, because it really is a terrible environment for them - it might be a little obvious it's you mind you, depending on how many houses are close by, but.. it's more important to try and do something about it.

You won’t hear everything from your side of the wall. The parents might be struggling with very difficult behaviour from the children, especially if ND. It can be a lot to deal with and parents are only human. They of course might also be abusive and/or useless.

While I really get this, you are in a horrible position, but we are talking about the welfare of tiny defenceless kids. In all the major child deaths the inquiries showed opportunities for people to intervene who didn’t. You know this isn’t normal and at the very least indicates a family under extreme stress. Write down specific things you hear, dates and times.

Could you contact your landlord in advance, explain the situation and say that you are about to make a report so you can expect there may be some malicious counter allegations?

My parents old neighbours were like this. The kids were home schooled too, so they literally had no respite ever. Not sure why I didn't report them now I have a kid of my own.

This.
Raise your concerns with SS.

Of course it's not normal. Some families are like this and some are like something else. There is no such thing as a normal family. You are just unlucky enough to live next door to an awful loud family.