Honestly, am I being an arse in not wanting these clothes?

[violinsandcellos]

I’m not anti second hand at all but I’ve been given two big bags of clothes for my four year old ds and … I don’t like them. They are filled with jeans, football shirts, sports clothing like Nike and he just looks like a totally different child in them.

am I being a twat? Tell me honestly.

Can't you use them for play or nursery clothes? If you don't want to and don't need them then just donate them.

Yanbu I didn't like to dress my boys like that (when I still had influence) but I'd say thank you and try to get some use out of them. Soft play, layering up for chilly walks, etc.

Well it depends.

If you were moaning to a friend about your ds having nothing to wear and you couldn't afford to buy him anything now his clothes are too small and she said that she was selling some clothes but you could have them for free, then you're very UR.

If you asked her to bring over her ds' old clothes because you'd like them, then you're being a bit UR.

If your friend turned up saying that she didn't want these old clothes any more so your Ds could have them and you spluttered "but we don't need them..." and she left them anyway then you are being R.

Not a chance I'd be putting my kid in them. Depends on your circumstances though if your child needs new clothes and you cant afford them, then yes YABU.

If your child has clothes/buying alternative clothes won't put you in financial hardship then YANBU.

Either give them back or donate them to charity.

Absolutely not. YANBU. Your child your choice (until their old enough to decide otherwise)

Bin them or donate them. Either way dont hold on to them. Best case stick it on vinted / market place and make some money off of it and buy your babe something you do like.

Im rather ruthless with this crap, I have no interest in keeping anything that doesn't bring me joy.

I would have used them for play clothes - but we live out in the country where rough clothes are always useful.

I get the football shirts thing but what's wrong with jeans or joggers? Unless the sportswear is something similar to the football stuff?

No. Put your foot down now. Some people see people with younger children as convenient ways to offload their recycling without hassle.

I used to get bags of stuff my son would never wear three ages too big and was too polite to do or say anything other than be grateful.

Pass them on then. But what's wrong with sports clothes? Are your ds constantly in shirt and chinos?

Of course you don’t have to keep them. I got loads of hand me downs, very grateful to get them but there was stuff I just didn’t like and I either donated to charity or gave it away for free on Facebook Marketplace.

No, not really. He’ll soon form his own opinions in what he wants to wear, so make the most of having the choice to say no to tracksuits 😂 it’s funny, I don’t consider myself vain in really any way at all and I am very keen on second hand (be that Vinted or charity shops) but I am quite particular about styles of clothes.

I’d ask the person who gave them to me if they wanted back the pieces you won’t use or whether you should donate them. Then I’d keep a couple of things and give the rest back/to charity.

By sports clothing do you just mean joggers? I don’t really see whats objectionable about a 4 year old running round the playground in joggers - can’t you use them for outdoor messy play? Ditto a football shirt - it’s winter, no one will even see it under a jumper and coat at the park.

Mine (6&3) don’t wear jeans but that’s because they don’t like the feel of them rather than because I have any strong feelings on it.

It depends if the clothes were just dumped on you or there was a conversation where you agreed to them.

I would try to use some but not use the ones that really weren’t my taste. I really enjoyed choosing clothes for my dd and bought a lot second hand, but all our taste.

Just donate them to a charity clothing bank. Someone will be grateful

I think yabu and snobby. A four year old should dress for comfort and activity and second hand clothes mean you don't have to worry about things getting ruined and are much better for the environment.

Bin them? You sound weird.

Keep the bits that are ok without logos etc and donate the rest.

Bit cheeky selling clothes someone gave you for free! Donate to charity or another child if you don't like them. Binning them seems extreme too!

How so?!

I suggested binning, donating or selling....

Who wants to keep shit they wont use! Dispose any which way you want but its pointless keeping it.

Tell them you picked out what you want and there’s loads left, should you donate it forward or do they want it back.

You're not being a twat at all. Sort through, keep anything you will use, and then donate the rest at a clothes bank or offer to someone else who might make use of them. Assuming whoever gave them to you is ok with that, it's worth just checking that they don't mind what happens to them.

This is the perfect response for me - it means the person has the chance to pass them on to someone else if they want to, and if they just wanted them out of the house then you can feel free to pass it on to a charity shop/friend/whatever.

Charity shop? Quietly donate.

I think if the op cant afford clothing for their little one, then selling something they dont want to fund clothing they do want is totally acceptable.