It’s my birthday and I’m miserable

[Loooper]

Help me cheer up, FFS. DH has given me a present, but my kids (11, 17 and 19) didn’t even bother to make me a card. I make them all a birthday cake and organise all their birthday and Christmas presents every year, make sure they have a lovely day. I told DD I wanted a tea advent calendar, it would have been 5 euro each and they couldn’t even be arsed to get that from the local supermarket. DS didn’t even bother to say Happy Birthday. I hate having birthdays, it’s shit. DH says I’m being daft. AIBU?

Happy birthday darling x so sorry your kids were shit. Your husband needs to send a rocket up their arses and send them out to buy flowers, cards, wine and chocolates, accompanied by a hefty dose of remorse.

Bit disrespectful & spoilt of your kids, that your kids cant even wish you a happy birthday. Yanbu.

It’s a big crap OP, but I wouldn’t expect much from the youngest at least. The 19 yr old could have taken the hint and encouraged the 17 yr old to at least get a card/small gift. The reality is, in most cases, teens are incredibly self centred and won’t do much without mega prompting. You can’t equate your efforts as their mother, with there’s now…the 2 are incomparable. Make sure you organise something really cool just for you/friend next year. Make it fab!! And happy birthday 🥳

Happy birrhday to you🎂

17 & 19 year old, no excuse. 11 year old, maybe. Tell them tomorrow that you're disappointed. It won't do them any harm to have a think about that.

Did DH not nudge them?

Your husband should be sitting them down and having a real talk to them. It’s each parent’s job to teach kids how to show up for the people in their life, so your husband dropped the ball here.

Oh love I'm sorry, you're not being daft at all, how selfish of them all. Everyone deserves to feel a bit special on their birthday.

Happy birthday! If I could send you a tea advent calendar and a hug I absolutely would 💐

Your kids sound ungreatful for the mother they have. Stop doing so much for them and they’ll soon notice.

Speak to them. Tell them effort should be reciprocated and as they don’t seem to make any, then you will just get supermarket cake from now on.

Do the bare minimum. Unwrapped gifts. Basic 25p cards.y

What happens for DH birthday? Don’t help them anymore.

Thank you. I feel a bit better now, thanks

How do you plan to tackle it?

What’s happened in past years? Do they make no effort for him either? His response is surely part of why they’re so unbelievably selfish. Sorry you’re feeling so sad, it sucks.

Happy Birthday! I think your kids have let you down. The oldest ones should know better. Share your disappointment with them, if you hide it, they will think it’s OK.

I hope your day improves. Sending virtual tea and cakes for you.

Happy birthday 🎂 have a nice tea and buy some cake x

disagree. Most teens aren't incredibly self centred at all, and if they are they need pulling up on it so they don't become self-centred adults! Don't even think there's much of an excuse for the 11 year old really. By the time I was old enough to spend my own money (so 11/12 age) I bought presents for my parents, from me and my younger siblings (obviously not much, just a little keyring or box of chocolates etc), but even before then we'd draw pictures, help make a cake, etc. For a 17 and 19 year old not to bother with anything is just pathetic.

Happy birthday 🎈🎉🎊🌹

I’ll speak to them later.

Also tell the 17 yo and 19 yo that the traditional cut off for birthday presents is 18, so if they want to continue to receive gifts as 18+ yo adults, then they need to act like adults and be thoughtful about birthdays.

Yeah, I give them a nudge and help the youngest one get something for him. He should have done the same. Too late now though

Your DH is very wrong. At those ages your children should have learnt to be appreciative of you, to care about you and to want to do something nice for you on your birthday.

Thanks everyone

They've been rubbish. Tell them that and that they have made you feel like shit
Happy Birthday

Happy birthday, do you have anything fun planned for this evening?

You need to tell your children directly that they ought to have done something and that your feelings are hurt. Two of them are old enough to do it off their own back and shouldn't need nudging or helping. Your younger onr hardly needs any help.

Happy Birthday OP

Your family should be ashamed of themselves, how selfish.

No excuse for any of them.

As small kids, each parent took us shopping to buy presents for the other parent’s birthday so that when we were older, it just became something we always did. Even an 11 year old is capable of understanding that people like presents on their birthdays.