It’s my birthday and I’m miserable

[Loooper]

Help me cheer up, FFS. DH has given me a present, but my kids (11, 17 and 19) didn’t even bother to make me a card. I make them all a birthday cake and organise all their birthday and Christmas presents every year, make sure they have a lovely day. I told DD I wanted a tea advent calendar, it would have been 5 euro each and they couldn’t even be arsed to get that from the local supermarket. DS didn’t even bother to say Happy Birthday. I hate having birthdays, it’s shit. DH says I’m being daft. AIBU?

I did a mixture of this and also actually taking my DC shopping for my own presents until they got the hang of it.

YANBU. Your husband is teaching them to be ungrateful, selfish and thoughtless. Tell them you’ll be making the same effort for them come christmas in a few weeks, see what they think!

Kids should be taught from an early age that everyone in the family celebrates a birthday, not just them!

They all sound very selfish. I would sit them down and remind them that mum's birthday is important too. If you let this slide you are teaching them that you do not matter and can be taken for granted.

They’ve been crap and you should tell
them so. None of this ‘they can’t help it’ bullshit. As children we made cards and helped to make toast so mum could have breakfast in bed for her birthday. By the time we were teens we could get card, a present, and make sure a cake was organised between us. And as an eldest I made sure the youngest did. Don’t be a martyr- spell it out and send them out to sort it. Otherwise the useless feckers will be doing this to their partners in 10 years.

Happy Birthday!! I'm sorry you've not had the best day. Try to do something nice tonight. Takeaway? Favourite drinks?
And buy yourself presents. I always do 😊

I’ve said it before and I will say it again.

Gentle parenting only gets you so far (and I include your relationship with DH here). However, sometimes, the only way for them all to learn is to slap them in the face with a wet fish.

So I would be going off my brain at them all at the lack of respect shown to you.My dc are expected to respect me and show appreciation for me at Christmas, Easter, Mother’s Day (or Father’s Day) and on birthdays. I don’t expect a lot of expense but I do expect the respect.

Whatever and however you say something today needs to be in a manner which they will never forget.

Happy Birthday @Loooper 💐🎉🥳🎈🎁🍰🎊

@persisted "They’ve been crap and you should tell them so."

Yep this.

At 11 years old I used to go on my own and buy my mum a bunch of flowers and a card for her birthday. I would've been bitterly upset if I forgot. I was an only child too, so no siblings to "nudge" me and no extended family to speak of.

Lazy fuckers. I hope DH sent them out for something. Being a mum, I know you will forgive them....BUT DONT FORGET! On their next special day give them fuck all

Balls to that!!! I bet if you gave an 11 yr old an Amazon gift card to buy themselves something with - they would do it!!

Dh should have got involved and given them a nudge. He really should be speaking to them about this.
Your feelings are understandable and very valid, not daft at all
Happy birthday from me anyway 🎂

How thoughtless of them . Did your DH get you anything . I had this happen too when kids were younger . I told DH that I was pissed off with him as he should encourage the kids to treat their mother with love and respect . A minimum was a home made card and a cake at tea time . It did get better .

Agreed. One of the best things my parents did with us growing up was made sure that every sibling and each parent got a present from everyone else on their birthday and at Christmas. Even when we were aged 5, 6, 7 etc, I recall being given money and brought to get something for the birthday sibling/parent. We were also expected to contribute a small amount ourselves from pocket money. The gifts were small, in keeping with our age eg I remember wrapping a mars bar for my brother one year. But it taught us all that everyone deserved to be appreciated and made feel loved, and that doing so would sometimes come at a cost to you but you did it anyway. And there certainly wasn’t any of this ‘gift for the non-birthday child’ nonsense!

I hate when I see people make excuses for teens and say they’re self-centered etc… they can and should be taught and shown not to be that way!

I’d have a shower, get dressed up and go out, buy a cake, come home and eat it all yourself.

I would go nuclear. Self centred brats.

I'd go on strike for one weekend. Take yourself out for a massage, facial, manicure and DO NOT cook for them, wash their clothes or take any notice of them at all.

Make it very clear that their neglect was hurtful, and let them reflect on that for the weekend.

They don't deserve you !

Happy birthday 🎂 💐

You deserve better

Christmas is round the corner. Think very carefully before you over indulge. That’s mean and very unkind. I cant actually believe they didn’t even acknowledge your Birthday. I would be very hurt

Happy Birthday. They aren’t babies and are plenty old enough to sort cards / presents / breakfast in bed in fact anything more than just nothing . Maybe you should reciprocate when their birthdays come around .

Happy birthday sweetheart and sorry your kids were a let down 😢 plan something nice just for yourself and do it and leave the buggers to themselves. You deserve a big treat! Hugs 💐