I upset a lady at GP surgery today

[TheQuirkyMaker]

A queue of five people in front at surgery. Waiting room pretty full. Only one receptionist available. An elderly lady at the front was telling the receptionist that she had just picked up meds at the chemist, and they had been changed from her regular ones to different ones. There was back and forth discussion, and every few minutes the lady would say, "but nobody told me they would be changed". I asked the lady in front of me how long this had been going on and she said "about 10 minutes". After a full further 15 minutes I said "Look, this is getting us no where, none of us will get to see a doctor if we can't sign in". I got a bit of condemnation along the lines of "she was entitled to her time", but I said, "this is reception, not a consultation. Just repeating that she wasn't told her medication would be changed is getting us no where. This could go on forever".
People got a bit sniffy with me, and I got a few stares, but I was right, wasn't I?
I get we should be tolerant of older people, but there has to be a bit of give and take.

Wouldn’t surprise me if this was my mother. She has been incredibly difficult all her life, cannot be told anything and is always right. It’s not clear if it was an actual different medication or just a different brand of tge same medication. My mother would insist it was ‘wrong’ because it was in a different package.

Due to medication issues she was issued a dossette box. Her local pharmacy didn’t do dossette boxes so it was coming from a different pharmacy but it was of no issue as it is hand delivered every week. No amount of explaining that it didn’t matter helped. She cancelled the dossette box because it wasn’t coming from her preferred pharmacy. She then turned up at her preferred pharmacy demanding her prescription which of course they didn’t have because it had gone to the other pharmacy to make up a dossette box. My aunt was with her and she was mortified at her behaviour. It kept being explained to her why they couldn’t issue her medication with my mother repeating that the doctor had prescribed her medication. Apparently they were in there at least half an hour going round in circles until my aunt managed to sort out a plan and drag my Mum shouting that she wanted her prescription.

In your circumstances the receptionist really should have taken charge. When she was going round and round in circles she should have told her to take a seat whilst she dealt with the people in the queue and she would try to address her problem. It may have needed a doctor to come and have a quick word. My mother would be much more likely to take notice of what a doctor said rather than sine ‘silly woman’ (her words not mine).

It isn’t difficult to want to understand the reasons behind a medication change.

I would have thought a clinician in a GP surgery would have a much better grasp of language and grammar than demonstrated here and also might appreciate that other practices may function differently to their own before suggesting the OP is lying.

Yes, it was the receptionist at fault here. Her responsibility was to check everyone in, in a timely manner.

But it IS difficult to demand an explanation from a receptionist and persist with this when the explanation wasn't provided.

Because the op said it was an old woman.

Ah in that case she sounds like she's one of those people with a skin thicker than a rhinos. She obviously met her match in you.

I mean, I probably would have worded it a bit more politely, but I don't blame you at all.

Most people queuing in a doctors surgery aren't there for fun. They are probably people who are ill, tired, elderly, sick themselves, so they don't want to stand there listening to some inane circular conversation.

I’ve not experienced this in a GP surgery, that must be incredibly stressful, but I have had in the queue for the checkout in Waitrose. Combo of middle class entitlement, stupidity and liking the sound of their own voice.

I don’t think you are wrong entirely but I think you could have perhaps interjected in a nicer way:

oh that sounds like a nightmare nobody told you? I’m sorry to interject can we maybe just sign in as that seems to be taking a while to sort? Sorry I’m just anxious we will miss our appointments.

Some young people like chatting too. And it doesn't sound like this person was 'enjoying' a good natter. Either way, it's the receptionist's job to deal with it and manage the rest of the queue.

It's OP who's shaming the woman.

People don't always understand how hard it is to get the medication you need and how persistent you have to be.

DD1 is very unwell. She had a review with her psychiatrist and she said she would prescribe something to calm her down. It was urgent, so she would write an urgent letter to the GP and send it by email that day.

I told the psychiatrist that the surgery would find it hard to deal with it urgently because their systems are inefficient and they have so many letters each day. She said 'but the letter will sayit's urgent.

I got confirmation from the team that the letter had been sent at 4.30pm. I was sitting in the GP surgery waiting for it to arrive. I went to they pharmacy section and told them they had received an email with an urgent request for medication. They said they hadn't. I showed them my copy of the email and said they had. So they asked me to forward it to them again so they could find it. They said it would be issued that evening.

I then went around to the pharmacy and they didn't have the medication in stock but ordered it so it would come in the next morning.

We visited the pharmacy the next day. No prescription. So I phoned the GP surgery to ask and was told it hadn't been actioned as promised, so the manager would action it 'once she had done the school run'.

I then waited until 5.30pm and telephoned the surgery, reminding them that the pharmacy closes at 6pm and we'd already waited 24 hours for a drug that DD1 absolutely needed urgently (as stated by the psychiatrist). I was told she was 'on the triage list but was next in line'.

So I went to the pharmacy, and they checked for a prescription. Nothing. They know us very well so they said to sit down and they would keep refreshing the screen. So I sat there for 20 minutes while they kept refreshing the screen and eventually the prescription appeared 7 minutes before closing time. So they ran around grabbing boxes and labelling them and checking drugs, so that I could take it home before they closed.

None of that would have happened if I hadn't gone from place to place, chasing and pushing to get it done.

Did someone actually say “doddery old fart”? Really? Jesus Christ!!!

I've once been in a similar situation to this older lady and getting nowhere with the receptionist so I requested a call with the GP to sort it out. To be fair I wouldn't expect a receptionist to deal with that issue. However I would expect the receptionist to have some nous and signpost me elsewhere to resolve the issue, even it meant having to sit in the waiting room for a while until it's fixed.
Meanwhile the receptionist can then deal with the others waiting to check in.

I wouldn't be happy if my medication had been changed without knowing beforehand. Medication issues are sometimes complex and difficult to deal with and should be dealt with by the appropriate people.

But the title of the post is, OP upset her. And leaving and putting a brave face on things, even reacting aggressively to aggression, doesn't mean she wasn't upset. So I wouldn't set much store by this. OP was wrong to interfere and criticize her. It was completely unnecessary.

this is why surgeries have ipads to check in with

Why do all that hedging for someone whose being an ignorant pain in the ass?

Well no, it was. What did you want OP to do? Stand there silently until she missed her appointment?

the receptionist should have said: step aside one moment. Ill check these patients in and then come back to you

old lady was just old ladying

Yes. I had lots of similar experiences in a caring role. It is terrifying to think what must happen when people don't have an effective advocate.

And not everyone knows how to advocate for themselves effectively and politely. This woman possibly wasn't doing it effectively - but better that she should be listened to than pushed aside. OP also wasn't particularly effective - 25 minutes - or polite. These are skills to work on.

OP addressed this last night - they have one but it wasn't working.

FYI if you select the 'See All' link on the OP you can see subsequent posts from the OP without having to read the whole thread.

Sounds like you were a little bit mean tbh.

The receptionist clearly wasnt dealing with her issue correctly.

How would you want an elderly relative to be treated? It wasnt your place to speak to her.

Just mentally substitute black or disabled for old/elderly in this probably entirely fictional story and see how that sounds.

I sort of disagree here.

In this scenario, if the person holding up the queue at the doctors were elderly or disabled it would have a bearing on how I interpret the situation and I expect it would for most others too. I would probably have more patience, although I recognise not all disabilities are visible.

Whether the person is black or white has no relevance whatsoever.

Still not sure the age is relevant.

Dementia is more common the older you get so that might make the lady's age relevant if she seemed confused or couldn't understand. However, the OP - who was there - is at pains to say the lady was "bright as a button" and in the OP's opinion "she was just being bloody-minded, because she seemed obstinate, not confused".
People of all ages can be obstinate.
Allow old people to be just people. They're not all "lovely, sweet little old biddies" or "cantankerous old gits" or other phrases that dehumanise and stereotype old people.