I upset a lady at GP surgery today

[TheQuirkyMaker]

A queue of five people in front at surgery. Waiting room pretty full. Only one receptionist available. An elderly lady at the front was telling the receptionist that she had just picked up meds at the chemist, and they had been changed from her regular ones to different ones. There was back and forth discussion, and every few minutes the lady would say, "but nobody told me they would be changed". I asked the lady in front of me how long this had been going on and she said "about 10 minutes". After a full further 15 minutes I said "Look, this is getting us no where, none of us will get to see a doctor if we can't sign in". I got a bit of condemnation along the lines of "she was entitled to her time", but I said, "this is reception, not a consultation. Just repeating that she wasn't told her medication would be changed is getting us no where. This could go on forever".
People got a bit sniffy with me, and I got a few stares, but I was right, wasn't I?
I get we should be tolerant of older people, but there has to be a bit of give and take.

After that long, someone needed to step in.

It wasn't working for anyone involved.

But what if the receptionist had said that and then the patient kept saying she wasn't told her medication was being changed repeatedly? Some patients/customers are really unreasonable and I think just want to argue sometimes.

Good on you Op! I wish I had the balls because there have been many times I would have liked to do this. Firstly I don’t fully blame the elderly woman, they’ve probably changed the brand and she was a little confused, the receptionist should have told her to move aside so she could check everyone else in then continue to debate with her if she chose. But no, I reckon everyone in the queue wanted to do the same!

I can understand why you were frustrated and I think the receptionist should have handled it better.

I don't see why you assume she was doing it to cause people problems though, if she was given the wrong meds that could be very serious. The attitude of 'silly old woman, just take whatever the Doctor gives you' is exactly what is wrong with the NHS bureaucracy. They make mistakes all the time, and it is always a battle to get them to treat a patient like a human being (particularly if you're a woman and elderly).

The electronic log in screen was broken. I think what had happened was, she had gone the chemist, the meds looked unusual (as some have suggested, maybe a diff manufacturer) and the chemist rightly said she should speak to the surgery about it.
I initially thought I was perhaps a bit bullying, (and I got a few tut-tuts in the the reception room) but she stood up for herself, and after our exchange another receptionist pulled her shutter up and started getting people moving.
There is a shortage of meds in the UK (I think made worse by Brexit) and I know I get the same drugs but in different packaging on a regular basis.

You should have directed it at the receptionist, not shamed the patient who was trying to have a perfectly valid query dealt with.

Quoting her words almost mockingly, as if she's old and useless and deliberately sabotaging the queue.

The receptionist should have booked a call for the woman with whoever knows the answer to her query, either the GP or the in house pharmacist. And there should presumably be more than one of them on shift?

You should have said 'sorry to interrupt, but do you think you could get someone to get people signed in so we don't miss our appointments?'

You didn't need to basically say the person in the front was a time waster. If she had been 23 would you have been so caustic and personal?

Classic Mumsnet. Ageism. Unnecessary aggression. Wild exaggeration. Oh, and more ageism.

Why didn't the silly cow ask at the pharmacy - could be just different brands

Sadly, I think SOME elderly people love the chit chat as well as not being in tune with other people's needs (the bigger picture )

Fixed.

Noted that the age of the seemingly incompetent Receptionist was not gratuitously mentioned.

I really dislike the narrative that older people are some sort of entitled burden on society. Selfish, doddery and inconvenient.
I once saw a documentary about Spitfire Women - they flew planes between air bases for the fighter pilots. One of them, now very elderly, said that every time she felt talked down to and marginalised, she said "I once flew Spitfires, you know!".
I've always remembered that.

This ⬆️ absolutely.

No, she expected help to explain why medication she was not expecting had been prescribed. Appropriate responses might be, “take a seat whilst I check in these people and I’ll ask teh GP to check it is correct”, getting the check screen sorted out or if available calling someone else to help with reception.

If I had an unexpected medicine in my list I would also want to check it was correct before taking it, not just blindly take it. Your problem is with the surgery processes not a patient with unexpected medication ensuring they have the right prescription before swallowing it.

Yes, that would be the sensible thing.

But so much more enjoyable to shame some doddery old fart making sure there isn’t an error with their medication than to take up the issue with the people who can actually fix it - the surgery.

No, I agree with you on this. Both my mom and MIL are in their 90s and each bright as a button. I'd have been more ready to be assertive if it had been a youngster holding us up.

But not more ready to be assertive about the woefully unprofessional receptionist, who was the one actually holding you all up?

I missed a consultant appointment because the receptionist spent 22 minutes dicking around with a parking pass, they then blamed me. Classic NHS as far as I can see, wasting time, money and the nations health so they can be as inefficient and unhelpful as possible.

The fact that she stood up for herself doesn't mean it wasn't bullying, OP. I mean, it's not the worst crime ever and with luck no harm done, but it was a bullying approach. There's a reason you had those initial misgivings and you should take them seriously.

The fact that the GP surgery then opened another line at the reception doesn't mean this woman deserved your public criticism. It does suggest you were right to interrupt and ask to check in and I don't think a single person on this thread has said you weren't.

So -

Reasonable to interrupt
Unreasonable to criticize this woman to the receptionist and the rest of the surgery
Unreasonable to assume that you know what the problem was - sure, it could be generic medications but there are lots of less innocuous explanations and you have no way of knowing which it was.

Just ask to check in next time and don't put other people down unnecessarily.

The receptionist in question looked to be in her twenties and seemed hyper-efficient- PC headset, etc. But prob lacking experience. And if I had physically gone to the front of the queue to address her, I would be intruding on what may well have been supposed to be confidential, and I might have been seen to be physically intimidating. And I didn't want to raise my voice for the same reason.
The only infuriating aspect was the lady repeating, "but no one told me my medicine would be changed" every time the receptionist spoke to her. Looking back I think she was just being bloody-minded, because she seemed obstinate, not confused.

So does ours but its out of action nearly every time I've been

So you could have said your piece standing where you were, without criticizing the patient based on your assumptions about her attitude. There was nothing stopping you from just asking politely to check in. That's obviously less aggressive than involving yourself in their conversation and criticizing a stranger.

You got this a bit wrong. With luck there's no consequence for the older patient who left, and I agree she is probably okay. But you've said you had misgivings and I think you know they were justified, really.

It's quite a common thing to wait too long to assert yourself and then come at it in a rush with strong feelings and say more than you need to. I'd ask to check in within ten minutes/ sooner if I was going to be late next time, rather than let the emotions build up.

'Doddery old fart'

So unnecessarily cruel.

I guess none of us know exactly what happened objectivly; we only have OP's subjective account.
But people who were actually there seemed to disagree with OP's approach, some of them tutting audibly. So, despite this lady holding the queue up, some people seemed to support her, or, at least, didn't approve of the way the OP went about trying to resolve things.

The receptionist in question looked to be in her twenties and seemed hyper-efficient- PC headset, etc

Wearing a PC headset doesn't make you "hyper-efficient" any more than wearing sunglasses indoors makes me Anna Wintour. If she was hyper-efficient she wouldn't have let the situation continue. She probably will become more efficient with experience, as you said she was lacking in it.

Basil Fawlty popped into my head straight away: 'I could spend the rest of my life having this conversation!'

Good for you, OP.

I’m an ‘older lady’ happily I still have a sense of self-awareness!