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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

...to leave my EBF 3 month old...

45 replies

Auroraspyjamas · 20/11/2025 15:13

...with DH to go for a drink down the road with friends tonight? A typical night for us = I feed DS to sleep 7-8 and then he sleeps in DH's arms while we watch tv. We go up to bed approx 11 and he is transferred to the side cot and sleeps until 3pm. Would say it is this wake time or later for him 90% of the time but obv would be sods law this time he'd wake earlier!

My plan would be to feed him to sleep 7/8 as normal and go for a couple glasses of wine at a pub 10 mins away. If he sleeps until 3 I can still breastfeed and I've pumped some milk if he wakes up earlier for me or DH to feed him (depending on if I am back yet). However, we haven't properly tried with a bottle before (I gave him a little bit yesterday and he took some but then I switched to boob) so if he wakes earlier than normal and won't bottle feed from DH I would pop home to try with bottle (or BF as a last resort as alcohol would still be in my milk).

What do you think? Is it too soon? Too many variables? Or am I being over-anxious? Last baby I didn't go out in the evenings until almost a year as I had PPA and I'm trying to be more relaxed this time but don't want to swing too far the other way so need some guidance.

OP posts:
ThatGreenFawn · 20/11/2025 15:17

I would go, enjoy your night!

Auroraspyjamas · 20/11/2025 17:29

Bump

OP posts:
Allswellthatendswelll · 20/11/2025 17:30

Yes of course! I went swimming twice a week from when DD was about 2 months and she was EBF..

IndigoIsMyFavouriteColour · 20/11/2025 17:30

Go and have a good time, baby will take a bottle if hungry and you can have a blissful few hours off

MidnightPatrol · 20/11/2025 17:31

GO

This all sounds very straightforward

DaisyChain505 · 20/11/2025 17:32

You’ll be 10 minutes away, go for it and enjoy your night.

Mulledjuice · 20/11/2025 17:32

Go! DH and baby will go through their little learning curve if necessary. You will be the better for a change of scene and a rest. Well done

DappledThings · 20/11/2025 17:33

No issues at all. If he does wake up early and you're just down the road you can pop back to feed him but it sounds unlikely.

Don't worry about the pump and dump stuff either. You can feed him as soon as you're home if you need to

mashandgravy · 20/11/2025 17:34

Honestly, I think it's too soon. You would probably not really be able to enjoy drinks anyway from worrying about it, so is it worth it?

MidnightPatrol · 20/11/2025 17:34

mashandgravy · 20/11/2025 17:34

Honestly, I think it's too soon. You would probably not really be able to enjoy drinks anyway from worrying about it, so is it worth it?

Why do you think it is too soon?

You learn it’s ok to have some separation, by having some separation! Popping down to the local pub while they’re asleep is a great first step.

Youdontseehow · 20/11/2025 17:35

Your baby sleeps from 11pm to 3pm????

Yuropean · 20/11/2025 17:36

I can’t believe you would drink alcohol whilst breastfeeding. Pump and dump is a myth it can be in your milk for a while. Is a drink needed?

mashandgravy · 20/11/2025 17:36

MidnightPatrol · 20/11/2025 17:34

Why do you think it is too soon?

You learn it’s ok to have some separation, by having some separation! Popping down to the local pub while they’re asleep is a great first step.

Edited

Not at three months.

MidnightPatrol · 20/11/2025 17:36

mashandgravy · 20/11/2025 17:36

Not at three months.

But why?

TemuTrinny · 20/11/2025 17:37

Go and enjoy it. He’s with his dad and you’re only 10 minutes away if you need to get home. Have a lovely time!

Seawolves · 20/11/2025 17:37

Of course go, you still need time to be you as well as being a mum. I think it is really important for both physical and mental health to take time out for yourself. Have a lovely evening.

mashandgravy · 20/11/2025 17:38

MidnightPatrol · 20/11/2025 17:36

But why?

Why not just leave the baby all the time?

Happymchappyface · 20/11/2025 17:38

Go and enjoy yourself. You’re close by if you need to come home to feed.

you can drink alcohol and breastfeed (pump and dump is pointless) while some alcohol will be in your milk, in order to be enough to have any impact on your baby, you’d be at risk of alcohol poisoning.

MidnightPatrol · 20/11/2025 17:39

mashandgravy · 20/11/2025 17:38

Why not just leave the baby all the time?

Ok, no justification then

VenusClapTrap · 20/11/2025 17:41

Go! The longer you leave it, the harder it is. Get the baby used to Dad looking after him. Good for everyone.

DappledThings · 20/11/2025 17:41

Yuropean · 20/11/2025 17:36

I can’t believe you would drink alcohol whilst breastfeeding. Pump and dump is a myth it can be in your milk for a while. Is a drink needed?

The myth is that you need to do it. Having a couple of drinks and breastfeeding is fine.

OllysArmyRidesAgain · 20/11/2025 17:44

I am ancient and was back at work when my DC were 3 months old.

Anyway back to the question, absolutely yes, go.
You have a baby that sleeps in the evening, a DH who is used to looking after them during this time and an excellent opportunity to pop out with friends and only be 10 minutes away.

Seeline · 20/11/2025 17:44

IndigoIsMyFavouriteColour · 20/11/2025 17:30

Go and have a good time, baby will take a bottle if hungry and you can have a blissful few hours off

Not all babies will take a bottle even if starving!

But as you're only 10 minutes away, and happy to feed after having had a drink, it's probably a good way to find out.

SouthLondonMum22 · 20/11/2025 17:47

Only 10 minutes away? Of course.

I left mine for the first time at 2 weeks.

Brightbluesomething · 20/11/2025 17:47

Please read the NHS guidelines on this instead of consulting strangers on the internet:
https://www.nhs.uk/baby/breastfeeding-and-bottle-feeding/breastfeeding-and-lifestyle/alcohol/
Alcohol is passed to your baby when you breastfeed so the guidance shares the recommended timescales to wait (per drink) for you to safely breastfeed if they won’t take a bottle. Hopefully they will but don’t be tempted to pop back as you say, without waiting for it be out of your system.

nhs.uk

Breastfeeding and drinking alcohol

Advice on drinking alcohol while breastfeeding, including how to manage social occasions and the risks of binge drinking.

https://www.nhs.uk/baby/breastfeeding-and-bottle-feeding/breastfeeding-and-lifestyle/alcohol

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