To ask what do your kids do without tech?

[Chessandjam]

I have an 8 year old son. His tablet time is limited to 2.5 hours a day in the week, but I find it increasing on a weekend, when I have to work or get stuff done.

He goes to organised clubs and activities (Cubs, sports, music), but his home time is spent on his tablet, or drawing characters from his games when his tablet is off. When I say let’s play, he wants me to print pictures of his characters to cut out and play with. I want him to do other things of his own choosing - how do I encourage this, without organising him?? Help! What do your kids do??

2.5 hours a day is a lot.

Mine have 3 hours per week and are 9 and 13.

They play Minecraft or Switch.

We don't allow it before school.

That could be a good place to start OP?

We do drawing, reading (comics), building dens, playing with Lego, Warhammer, boardgames, older one goes out with his mates and does active stuff mostly.

Look the reality is - if they are addicted/ used to the easy dopamine hit - you are going to go through an adjustment period.

Im not saying. its easy but I promise you - Iit is MUCH MUCH harder when they get older.

I wish so much I could go back in time and have a child your age - my son is 14 and its so much harder to undo bad habits now. If I was given time back when he was 9 I would just be so hardcore anti screens.

Forgot to add board games to our list. Started young with the orchard board games and built from there. We love family board games.

1. Send them out to play and tell them to come in when the street lights come on.
2. Game of British bulldog.
3. Send them to the shops for you to buy fags with a note from you.
4. Take them to the pub and get them a coke and some crisps. After 9, they can wait in the car.

I'm a big fan of kids making their own fun. Usually:

1. Tell DC if she doesn't find something to do she will be allocated chores (like tidying her room)

1. Tell.DC of she doesn't have anything to play with I will donate something from her room because she doesn't need toys she doesn't want to play with

1. Allocate a bedroom task like tidying the sock drawer. Inevitably she procrastinated and plays for an hour.

Often she gravitated towards doing actual activities like drawing, hama beads, reading etc rather than playing with actual toys like dolls or cars.

Age 7.

Oh and TV is usually on a Sunday and something specific like a film or a few episodes from the same show. I don't accept flicking between or YouTube as ots terrible for concentration. The rul is also that you must actually be watching the TV, not just have it on while doing something else.

Does he do Scouts? He can work on some badges at home? Or he can pick some badges from Paw Print badges to work on at home which are same sort of idea as Scouts badges but not a group you attend and flexibility. My 8 year old spends a lot of time working on Brownies badges!

Draw, write stories, play board games, jigsaws, science experiments, instrument practice.

2.5 hours is an incredible amount a day. I have an almost 10yo and we don’t do screens M-T and Fridays are movie night. I do think it’s bad your ds is using such a crazy amount of time on screens daily

Feel your pain op, I really do. It's tough.

We do:

Board games - cluedo, Monopoly, cards

Painting/ crafting

Jigsaws

Lego

Den building

Putting on shows to music

2 hours of screen time a day is considered excessive OP… for ADULTS. Let alone an 8 year old.

It literally thins part of the brain that is used for memory, problem solving and decision making.

Reduce his screen time and maybe he will become more creative and find fun things to do.

Source: https://lifestylemedicine.stanford.edu/what-excessive-screen-time-does-to-the-adult-brain/#:~:text=Cognitive%2520Enhancement%252C%2520Mental%2520Health,behavior%2520can%2520take%2520a%2520toll.%E2%80%9D

Read
Lego
Craft
Music practise
Play outside
Build really bloody irritating dens
Listen to podcasts
Make up songs

My DC completely lost all screens for some atrocious behaviour a couple of months ago and I'm not giving them back. They had a limited amount in the first place but after about a month they started playing together properly, being inventive with games and crafts, voluntarily practising their instruments, etc. After 8 weeks they are completely different children. Behaviour has improved massively and life is actually so much easier without screens.

His tablet time is limited to 2.5 hours a day in the week

> IS the WRONG method
By limiting ( 2.5 hours a day) you ARE encouraging - the use of
WILL always try to, get away with MORE
> UNLIMITED tablet time IN the week OR

time for tokens

Jobs around the house = tokens
tokens = tablet time

Work out your own token scale
vacuming = ??? tokens
cleaning = ??? tokens
jobs - takin the garbage out = ??? tokens

??? tokens - ??? online time

Work your own system out

It IS more than - just a GOOD idea
> it WILL work

Get out of the house as much as possible , get him interested in nature , i have a 10 year old who still loves going out and finding pretty leaves, stones that are heart shaped, sticks...
She also loves bug hunting, listening to and identifying bird song.we use the free merlin app to record birds and identify them in our area but shes that good now she can tell me what they are just from stopping and listening to them
If its times when you need to be in the house while your working etc..... jigsaws and craft sets. Making home mafe slime and putty, drawing,writing stories keeps mine occupied aswell as cosmic yoga vids on youtube they even do minecraft and super mario yoga its really good
Or how about helping around the house or garden? Money is always a good incentive 50p or £1 per chore done well will keep him occupied for a while and maybe he can save for something he wants

Lego
Gravitrax
Reaxion
Board games like monopoly junior
Uno
Drawing, tracing, colouring
Reading - library books especially graphic novels
Play with the cats
Plant and grow seeds
Make birthday cards / Xmas cards
Listen to audio books
Build dens in living room or garden

Embrace it a bit but not so much. 2.5 hours 5 days a week is 12.5 hours plus say another 6 at the weekend is 18 hours a week. That is more than a whole waking day. It actually a bit crazy where we have got to where anyone thinks this is OK.

No screens apart from TV. Gets 2 hours a day. However, lots of clubs and playdates. Plays out or calls for friends ( country living) and listens to his Yoto player a lot.

Small screens up close are not good for their eyes, optician suggested no more than 20 mins in one go. 2.5 hours is a crazy amount, def cut back, your child will find a way to curb the boredom - that’s the point!

8 year old DGS isn't allowed the iPad at all in the week and an hour a day at weekends. He swims daily, builds Lego stuff, draws and makes models etc

I was born in the 90's, so didn't have tech until late childhood and only properly in my teen years. None of us had hobbies and clubs in my friendship circles back then either.

I used to: read, draw animals and make my own fact book, creative writing, etc. My main thing though was imaginative play with TY beanies. I also spend many of my days with friends playing out, especially in summer! We spent a lot of time playing Bull dog on the park, or hide and seek around the estate. We also used to collect stones, paint them, then pretend they were different characters and play games with them 😂 We also used to play make believe a lot, and act out being different characters from TV shows we liked.

My parents would not have entertained me moaning about being bored tbh.

13 year old loves drama and singing, he goes to the gym and swims. At home without tech he loves Lego and drawing and is very keen on doing bits of DIY and making things (I’m strongly encouraging this one 😂) and he loves anything to do with animals (has a dog and a cat) and loves a trip to an animal sanctuary. He’s also very recently taken an interest in Dungeons and dragons and tried out for the school choir. So he does a fair bit but it still feels like a huge struggle to make life NOT revolve around tech.

My 9 year old gets 0 screen time Monday to Friday. At the weekend we watch selected TV programmes as a family or a film together. He gets an hour or 2 on the switch if there is time after his club on Saturday. He likes to play Lego and do lots of craft. He helps prepare food and we play games together such as Labyrinth, Hive, Uno etc.

DS is 7 he doesn't have a tablet. There's no time for tv in the week between school and activities, homework and he just likes to play. He has plenty of Lego, he's currently building a robot with a different more technical kit, learning to use a yo-yo , he plays games like he's in a ninja school or a spy mission, drawing, writing stories, he loves a board game, he also reads a lot he's currently half way through the how to train your dragon boxset having seen the film earlier this year at the cinema.
At weekends he'll usually watch a bit of TV nothing yesterday as he has sports in the morning and then we were out, but he watched a film Saturday.

What does he do on his tablet? That makes a difference too.

I’d start by knocking the hour in the morning on the head. Sit and watch a tv show instead together.

Mine don’t really play on a tablet but if they do they have to set a 20 minute timer. Any whining about putting it away when the timer goes off results in them not getting to play on it next time they ask.

Aside from that they:
watch tv
lego
crafty stuff - paper cutting up, beads
my youngest plays proper imagination games with action figures etc (my eldest wouldn’t)
easy board games etc

They do all of this by themselves

Together we play the switch, board games, uno, dobble

2.5hrs is too much daily I'm afraid. My 8 year old plays with lego, magnatiles, playmobil and these mincraft building blocks things. He has to ask before he can go downstairs in the morning and the tv is not allowed on before school. Only allowed the switch for an hour a day at the weekend, unless he has a playdate/cousins over.

I think drastically cut down his screen time and then he will be forced to do other things!

Kids used to be out playing. Without that what else are they meant to do than play on tech ?

My 9 yr old doesn't have a tablet. He does have a switch but we mostly keep it for long journeys. He doesnt have daily time on anything (except TV).

He loves Lego and Playmobil and will play with a set up for ages. He also loves cars, magnatiles, dinosaurs and train track still. He is very very happy spending hours setting things up and then playing with them.

It makes him seem young by today's standards but I really believe that if you take screens away from most children that they would play too. We had a play date with 2 of his friends where they spent the whole time constructing a massive train track route with junctions and bridges.

He also spends a lot of time outside, loves his bike and ball games and the trampoline.

If he wakes early then he reads. He knows that time before anyone else is awake is spent snuggled up with a book or dozing. I would start by saying no screens in the morning.

My older ones have their own phones so inevitably spend more time on them but they have limits, and we are strict so no social media apps to scroll which helps.

All of mine watch TV but we have it in the main living room so it is shared. The youngest watches lots of good stuff like Horrible Histories, Operation Ouch and Blue Peter and definitely learns a lot from it!

I can see why children lose the skills or desire to play if screens are an option. I think taking the option away is the only way to make space for more low key activities.