To ask what do your kids do without tech?

[Chessandjam]

I have an 8 year old son. His tablet time is limited to 2.5 hours a day in the week, but I find it increasing on a weekend, when I have to work or get stuff done.

He goes to organised clubs and activities (Cubs, sports, music), but his home time is spent on his tablet, or drawing characters from his games when his tablet is off. When I say let’s play, he wants me to print pictures of his characters to cut out and play with. I want him to do other things of his own choosing - how do I encourage this, without organising him?? Help! What do your kids do??

As kids we had no screens, if we ever told my mum we were bored she’ll tell us there was plenty of cleaning to do, we rushed off pretty quick and occupied ourselves 😂 we had a very full bookcase in the lounge and I was reading the classics at eight because I’d read everything else and by being bored my hand was forced. We are doing the same with our two and although they are younger than yours 5 and almost 2 they play with toy animals for ages, read books, play with magnatiles and jigsaws

Drawing, crafting, playing games. But honestly the thing she does most of is just 'pottering'. She'll pull things out and cut things up and make a right mess and that's a really good thing. Don't get me wrong sometimes she just asks for the tablet and says she's bored but I hold firm and she finds something to do. Sometimes I'll say something like 'If you're bored you can water the plants' or 'if you can't find anything to do you could wash the towel rail in the bathroom' and amazingly sometimes she will actually do that - but most often she will potter off and find something on her own. One day she sat and wound wool round a hairbrush for ages, another day she started joining elastic bands together and that became a thing she would do every day. He'll be the same if he has the chance!

I’ve been up at 4.30 with baby for the last few months - he gets up to join us in the living room! But I take your point.

yes, self-employed, working from home with baby and DS8 at school. Baby in childcare one day a week.

Why is everyone so scared of screens? There are so many educational and productive things to do. My DS started learning to code at 8. Was fixing our computers for us in his teens. Now he’s earning very well as a tech engineer. My DD discovered digital art and is off in that direction. It’s not all bad!

Yes, I know - we didn’t have screens either. I guess I need help pulling back, now that he has had access to a screen.

Thank you, yes I’ve signed DS8 up to a coding club to embrace his interests! I don’t mind some, I just him to have some variety.

Aside when we are out at clubs, DD gets probably an our of tv a day on a erage, she’s 6 so she doesn’t usually have access to a tablet but she does play some games on my ipad on a Saturday morning in bed with us so me and Dh can have a bit more of a snooze.

Apart from that,
she’s in the middle of some meccano thing with DH also enjoys marble run and lego
board games like “ticket to ride” also logic games (cats in boxes, the little red riding hood game)
Card games, DH taught her to play a few
reading
craft kits (she bloody loves these, and often they are reasonably priced)
She’ll draw pictures etc (her desk has a collection of stickers, glitter glu, coloured paper etc)

Thats off the top of my head. It is hard OP, definitely not judging, I struggle not to waste my own time with screens.Try a craft kit, kids usually get into these, just to get him used to working on something else thats not a screen.

Scouts
Archery
Play music
Gym
Sports teams
Martial Arts
Draw cartoons
Read

Thank you, yes I’ve signed DS8 up to a coding club to embrace his interests! I don’t mind some, I just want him to have some variety.

My 8 & 10 year olds are only allowed the switch for limited time over weekends. They play outside in the garden whatever the weather. They play Lego, read, help cook, play with the dog. We don't really limit TV time as they self limit generally. They would always choose to be outside.

Big thing is read - both my kids read a lot, including comics

Board games also.

I do wonder if he might benefit from after school club rather than coming home to tablet time?

I do wonder if he might benefit from after school club rather than coming home to tablet time?

This, also are you making sure you delineate working time from family time so that work isn't bleeding into every available hour and leaving you no quality time with him?

Also its easy to let the baby dominate but your older child needs your attention too. Sometimes baby has to sit a bit bored in a bouncy chair while you play a game with DS - baby will still benefit from hearing and watching you play and talk.

Tablets and phones are addictive. That’s why people are ‘scared’ of them. For every young person who becomes a tech engineer, there’ll be fifty who are just miserable phone addicts. I think kids ought to play. They can have their whole adulthood on screens like the rest of us.

2.5 hours a DAY?!?! For an 8 year old?!?! Is this was the school holidays then not so bad, but for term time then 2.5 hours is way too much!

I have two 9 year olds. They can watch TV if it's something educational (nature programs, or in another language), and if they've been super good then they can have 1 hour on their tablet.

We read together (I try and sit and read with them - we snuggle up on the sofa with a book each), they LOVE magnets and spend ages playing with those (individually - not together), one does a lot of sketching, the other puts music on and dances. One likes helping make dinner. One likes going outside to do skipping or riding on the scooter outside the front (safe area - not many cars).
Generally they just play with their toys in their room. An 8 year old should be using their imagination and playing with toys.

When they do have their tablets, they play minecraft generally. They're not allowed to watch videos.

I have had to make peace with a level of mess - this morning for 1.5 hours before school my DD cut out bits of paper all over the carpet making funny masks and little notes, and drawings and things. She was really absorbed and happy, and I just thought...its fine. Ideally she would do that on a table, but I didn't want to intervene because she was having nice time, so I just let her crack on and we tidy it up later on. I don't mind mess, as long as she's happy and absorbed.

Other times she likes doing play dough (I do insist on that being on a table!!) or those things where you dig out dinosaurs from lumps of plaster.

She also likes putting on a leotard and prancing around the living room doing gymnastics.

I got her a desk with a lamp on that we keep in the living room (as she likes being around the family) and she likes doing writing and drawing there.

I have a 6 year old DS and baby DD. No tech bar the TV in the morning. DS plays Lego, reads, colours, we go out and about, read the Beano, swimming, Beavers and a board games club after school.

At 8 mine played out with his friends mostly.

My kids are 7 and 3, we don't own a tablet and they've never used our phones other than for video calls. DD (7) does drawing, piano practice, reading, they run around and play daft games, she helps her little brother set up his train set, she helps me make dinner, we spend about an hour sat around the table chatting while we eat dinner, she writes stories, does sticker books, she puts on fashion shows. Tbh I can't really tell you exactly what she does, sometimes we just hang out and chat.

We've got a TV in the lounge, we don't restrict it and she'll watch a bit of it most days but she actually did a screen time log last week for school and it averaged less than 30 minutes a day. She watched the whole of Wicked on Saturday afternoon though.

By the time we've got home from school, done any homework, done some reading, gotten her ready for and out to ballet or swimming or brownies or whatever it is on that day there isn't really that much time for anything other than dinner, bath and bed anyway. And that's without adding playdates into the mix, she quite often brings a random friend home. Weekends we're usually out most of the day, if we're home she might veg in front of the telly for a bit.

So I guess, we just keep them busy 😂🤷‍♀️

I tend to fall somewhere in the middle - I spent silly amounts of time completing Sonic the Hedgehog over and over as a kid. I used to resist my daughter using phones and tablets and gaming but ultimately had to compromise as she has a tech-minded dad with a different outlook. I am definitely the more strict of the two of us over it as well which has a knock-on effect on downtime for each of us but it is what it is. I can tell when she's tipping into 'too much' screen time so don't let it get to that point any more. I also monitor what she's watching. Tiktok-type videos like YouTube shorts are very restricted to certain times only. Absolutely hate them. I watched her once watching them and she was literally watching 2-3 seconds of a video before swiping up and we KNOW that incessant, constant, fast scrolling is far more damaging than Sonic ever was!

My head in

for the morning, has he got a yoto or an alexa? my 8yo has both and listens to them a lot, either for music or audiobooks/ stories/ the kids news/ puzzles etc...

My 7 year old has never had a tablet and won't for a long time, most likely until high-school at the earliest when we won't have a choice due to homework etc.
There is a lot of research that shows excessive screen time just isnt good for their brains and if we're honest, we didn't have them when we were kids and were just fine.
My DS uses my Husband's computer for homework only with supervision and watches an hour or so of tv every other day.
As a household we've made a concerted effort to stop uses screens as much, even we have stopped social media use and doom scrolling which have been revolutionary for our wellbeing in all honesty!
I should add my husband is a software developer and his industry as a whole seem to have a widespread understanding that humans especially children, are not meant to stare at screens as much as we do!

In between this, he plays games, reads, we go on walks and bike rides, plays in the garden with his brother, makes dens with blankets and loves imagination play.
We used to try to fill every minute with fun activities, but we soon realised that he expected fun all day every day, which wasn't achieveable or normal life! Now we find a bit of boredom is healthy and encourages him to seek self led activities. We're at a point that him and his little brother will play for hours together making up games, which is lovely to see!

I am old enough to have grown up without the internet, and I mostly read.

2 ½ hours per day is too much. We don’t do tablets at all.

However. If he’s into drawing and art I’d lean into that. Allow tablet time to watch art tutorials on YouTube and he can learn to draw his favourite characters. Stock up on art supplies. If he’s into video games there are Lego Mario and Minecraft sets. There are also magnet blocks designed like Minecraft that kids love to build with. Recently there was a comic workshop in our local area. The kids went along and learnt how to create characters and storylines to make their own comics. You can also use an iPad to do stop motion animation with Lego figures or plasticine.

In our house the things that occupy our son the most are Lego, his Hornby train collection, various arts and crafts, magnatiles, and reading.

Mine argue