Husband put house entirely in his name

[blowingBubblesinABreeze]

Am I being unreasonable to be upset? He said he had a better credit rating than me, so said the mortgage, (and deed) should be entirely in his name. (I didn't appreciate the difference at the time). We bought the house 7 years ago, now worth 1 million (we live in London). He earns about 10 times what i do, so all of the mortgage contributions are from him. But I pay for food, kids things, activities, stuff like that. Having such a big income disparity complicates things. We have been married 12 years. Together for 18. We have 2 kids. We married age 30. He works long hours so i'm primarily in charge of kids.

Also, if we were to split up, would I still be entitled to half the marital home if it's entirely in my husband's name?

He can try to be as independent as he likes but he's entered into a financial contract with you. His money is your money. You are a financial unit. That is the point in marriage.

If you split then, as the children’s primary carer, you would argue to remain in the family home and he, given his high earnings and high future earning potential, should find a new home big enough to have the kids on his time.

He would probably hire a shit hot solicitor which can make a lot of difference actually, but you would make sound arguments based on the marriage contract.

No, you cannot trust him, but he's also not that bright if he thinks he's protected himself. Then again, as I say, a shit hot solicitor can wipe the floor with you, to a degree. You just need to remain focused and ask for a fair outcome, including part of his pension given you've sacrificed earnings over the years.

No, OP doesn’t need to earn anything.

I am jointly named on the title deeds and have been a party to every mortgage we have ever had - but have not worked in 20 years (SAHM to SEN DCs). The calculations of affordability are done on his salary, obviously, and my credit worthiness is checked but there is a life insurance policy that pays it off in the event of either of our deaths. We are joint tenants, so both own the entire property and it defaults to the surviving spouse without being subject to IHT should one of us die.

OP you need to get legal advice. IANAL - As it stands he can take personal loans against the asset with you knowing leaving you and your children at risk if he defaults. And yet, as it’s a marital asset you are still deemed to be entitled to half in a divorce. If he dies intestate, you will partially inherit - I think the first £322,000 is yours plus half of what’s left. The rest goes to his children. If there are any other assets it may mean IHT will be due - again putting you all at risk.

Whatever he is thinking, it is not prioritising you OP and the children in the event of ‘the unthinkable’.

@blowingBubblesinABreeze

Divorce is not the main issue to worry about.

First, make sure you both have wills. Treat this as urgent.

Second, do you feel it is a problem that your marriage is essentially unequal? You are not 'partners' in any meaningful sense if you don't even know how much he has in savings.
Have you asked him to show you statements? What was his reaction, or what would be his reaction?
How do you both make arrangements for things like holidays and furniture purchases - do you get an equal say in choosing?

If you don't mind being "kept", instead of being equal, then that is fine. Many women would not tolerate it, but it may be the best choice for you at the moment if you have a nice life and young children, especially if there is no alternative except divorce.

The only way you could know for sure is if you requested disclosure during divorce proceedings.

My concern (given that he has lied to you) is that he could have transferred the money overseas into an account you can’t access.

The lie is very concerning.

I have access to my partner’s money - not to every single account. I was with him when the young bank employee was trying to protect him and suggested stronger controls regarding transfers between certain accounts.

You’re married so you should know how much money there is and where it is held.

My only suggestion is that you attend a solicitors together and get Wills drafted. It may give you an idea regarding assets and retirement accounts.

His behaviour is not only controlling - it’s suspicious. I don’t like that he has deliberately lied to you and deliberately made it so you can’t access any of his money.