Husband put house entirely in his name

[blowingBubblesinABreeze]

Am I being unreasonable to be upset? He said he had a better credit rating than me, so said the mortgage, (and deed) should be entirely in his name. (I didn't appreciate the difference at the time). We bought the house 7 years ago, now worth 1 million (we live in London). He earns about 10 times what i do, so all of the mortgage contributions are from him. But I pay for food, kids things, activities, stuff like that. Having such a big income disparity complicates things. We have been married 12 years. Together for 18. We have 2 kids. We married age 30. He works long hours so i'm primarily in charge of kids.

Also, if we were to split up, would I still be entitled to half the marital home if it's entirely in my husband's name?

Sorry it’s gone up to £322k

Well for a start your figures are so wrong either someone ripped you off or you are making shit up.

So....yeah you are wrong!

ETA seen your update, you are assuming no life insurance, assuming how much is left on the mortgage etc. You are giving advice based on no knowledge whatsoever. Sticking with "wrong"

OP, I would strongly advise booking an appointment with a solicitor and find out where this leaves you legally in the event of his sudden death or his abandoning the marriage.

I'm on the deeds to our house but wasn't on the mortgage as I was a SAHM at the time.

This. I find it odd.

FFS OP, get this moved to "Legal" so that you're not taking advice from all of the IANAL people on AIBU!!

I would absolutely not be ok with this and would demand to be out on the feeds etc

Oh gosh we don’t know the finer details!

don’t be so hostile

I agree get it moved to legal OP

I'm not thinking of leaving him. But I felt that he deliberately deceived me by saying I shouldn't be on the deed/mortgage for financial reasons. And he just wanted the house in his name. I checked my credit score recently and it has always been excellent. Deep down at the time I knew it was a lie, but I didn't have the energy to argue.

We have always had separate finances. He asked for this at the start of the marriage, and I agreed. I agreed because we have different approaches to money - He is very tight. He also has a dominant personality. And so I wanted to have freedom over the (smaller but decent) money I did have, rather than get frustrated by apparently having a massive pot of money but arguing over every pound spent. (don't get me wrong, I am far from frivolous, but he is objectively tight, even his family say so). I also didn't want it to come across like his money was important to me.

But 12 years into our marriage it just feels weird that I have NO idea how much he has saved. He calls it "our money" but I have zero visibility. And the house thing just makes me wonder if I can trust him at all.

Hmmm possibly right now, but what happens when children are adults and move out or husband dies.

Nobody knows, unless you’re a solicitor and even then we don’t have all the facts. It’s a complicated situation by the sounds of it and he sounds like he’s keeping Op in the dark- and he can afford better legal advice by the sounds of it. I certainly wouldn’t be taking any chances with mumsnet aibu advice if it went to court.

Oh babe I am sorry but I dont think you can.

With that information it seems that his money, and what it has paid for, he considers to be entirely his.

If they day came where you did divorce he is the sort that would be absolutely OUTRAGED at having you give you half (if not more) of the house, savings and pension. He would consider that you have stolen from him.

He is tight and dominant in your words. The words I would use are controlling and abusive.

House mortgage and house deeds are two separate entities and it is possible to be named on one but not on the other. House deeds indicate ownership of the property while mortgage indicates responsibility for paying back a loan.
I was not able to be included on a mortgage, my credit rating is good but I was turned down for mandatory life insurance cover due to poor health.
So the mortgage was taken out only in DHs name, but we were both named as joint owners on the house deeds.

Make sure you are named in his will and he has life insurance to pay off the mortgage should he die.
A friend went from living in a large house in the country to a tiny 2 bedroom on a rubbish estate because her husband unexpectedly died, leaving her with 3 children, no job and a huge mortgage.

It sounds like he was quite manipulative at the time you first bought the house together - you could have been added to the mortgage if he could afford it on his own. I would get legal advice for this reason alone - he seems keen to look after his own interests so you should too.

Our house was originally in DH name only. When it came time to remortgage we had my name added. It was a simple process. I’m in Scotland so the law is different but here wether your on deeds or not, if the home was bought when you were married then you are entitled to 50%.

Do you have wills?

what happens with things like holidays, does he pay for them?

Can you sit down with him and talk finances?

Your update is very concerning. I’d consult a solicitor with some urgency.

You really should seek independent legal advice.

Yes, you have an interest but it's not automatic and would need to be agreed/argued/Court ordered in the event of a divorce.

You are also at risk if he dies, remortgages or sells the house. Yes, you have occupancy rights but these can be complicated. If the bank were to repossess, you may not have any entitlement to any surplus. If he goes bankrupt, any non legal but beneficial rights may not be of any worth.

It's not just about divorce and a good solicitor will cover all of the issues above.

You don't need to do a full remortgage at all.

Yes, it is relevant from the point of view of inheritance tax.

My worry would be that he would borrow against the house without your knowledge, so there wouldnt be the equity you think there is.

Have you got a joint account? Why dont you both contribute to all household expenses?

The various answers here tell you that you need to get proper legal advice and not rely on the contributions of strangers on the Internet.

I'd also be more concerned about your situation if he were to die before you. But I suspect this whole thing indicates you have some fairly big problems with your husband.

He’s financially abusive.

If you bought a long time ago the justification for not being on the deeds has likely changed, the chances are the house value has gone up his salary has gone up and the amount owed will have gone down. All this is likely to mean that getting a mortgage is not such a stretch, so at worst when the mortgage is next renewed, but ideally sooner you should go on, although as part of a long marriage I think you'd have a good chance of getting at least half the value, at least whilst kids still live at home, might change when they are older.

You can also register for HM Land Registry Property Alert Activity Updates if anyone tries to take a second loan etc then you get an email, I have this on my parent's house as they are elderly, they don't know I have it, so I think you can do it for your home, chances are it will never have activity.

@blowingBubblesinABreeze this is a red flag, you should be on the deeds.

If you ever divorce him you will be entitled to a share of the house regardless of whether you are on the deeds or not, but if things start going wrong in your marriage he could easily sell the property without your consent.

If you ever go down the divorce route, hoping you never will have to, but contact a solicitor without him knowing and get a home rights order filed on the house, that way he can’t sell it or sign it off to anyone else.

But whatever you do, do not give him the heads up about the home rights order.

Yes it does matter for a number of reasons. If he is the legal owner of the whole house then he can do what he wishes. For example, if times became tough or if he had a gambling issue, he could mortgage the house entirely and you would know nothing about it. Also he could will his house to anyone. You could then contest this, but it would require expense and be challenging. You need to be on the deeds now.