Crossing the road when there’s not a green man

[JabbyMcJabFace16]

I’ve just had possibly the strangest interaction of my life and just need some opinions on it.

I was at a pretty busy junction that I cross everyday, twice a day. I know that between the first two sets of lights, there is a thirty second pause which is long enough for me to cross the road in. I went to step out during this pause when a woman stood next to me put her arm across me and said, quite pointedly “I don’t think so! We only cross when we see a green man, don’t we [child’s name]. She then held her arm across me until the green man came up.

I do understand that it’s important for parents to teach their children road safety, but I also know this junction so well and it’s absolutely freezing tonight. I was stood there for a good 3 minutes longer than I needed to be because this woman wouldn’t let me go.

AIBU to think this is just going too far?

Oh so working there you don't have to abide by local laws?

I didn't say anything about Germans or how hard they work - you randomly inserted your observations there which I didn't even comment on. I don't need that side note, I lived in Germany too and managed to follow the law when I was there, wasn't hard. No one ever shouted at me in the street. They didn't have to.

Not remotely a pun.

Sheep policing the actual law?

I never cross without the green man showing if children are also waiting. However, this woman was totally out of order to stop you.

Countries that make jaywalking illegal generally are car-centric and prioritise the rights of car drivers over those of pedestrians. Thankfully the UK isn't there yet.

I also regularly broke the law when I lived in Germany. Just like drivers do everyday.

I never cross on a red light if children are waiting.

So what? That is irrelevant to this discussion. You can do whatever you want. The point here is that some tried to stop someone else (a complete stranger, in fact) from crossing.

In Germany people are much more conscious of not crossing without the green man with children about. I was told off by a friend when I tried to do it which did make me think more about modelling good habits for kids when they are about

I wouldn't cross if there was a red man and there were unaccompanied children, as I'd be afraid of them following me. In this case that wouldn't apply. She was batshit. I'd probably just stop as I'd be so flabbergasted, but the inner me would be thinking "Get your fucking hands off me unless you want me to set a really bad example."

Decent people don't put others in their place.

The nerve of her, putting her arm across you! Sounds like she treated you as if she was her child too! Should have at least offered to buy you an ice cream or some new crayons, after that! 🤣

It’s not my responsibility though. I was safe, checked there were no cars, and crossed.

Ha, this is such an odd encounter. The better thing to do would have been to chastise you to the child after you’d crossed, if she really wanted to set that example.

Yes, I was told off for crossing a completely clear and empty road in Austria on a red man - utterly ridiculous!

Her overbearing behaviour would have infuriated me. I’d have crossed anyway.

It’s not ultimately helping the child to try and pretend we live in an idealised world with rigid rules that everyone follows.

And being safe on the road isn’t about blindly following rules regardless of circumstances, . Teaching a child to cross on a Green man irrespective of the traffic situation isn’t sensible… as it’s automatically safe to cross on a Green man - drivers don’t always see the lights or obey the rules!

I wouldn’t have said anything to you but I would have told my child as we crossed on the green man that because you’re an adult you could make the decision for yourself but for us it would be safe to wait for the green man.

If pedestrian crossings were more responsive when the button is pressed, this scenario wouldn't happen. When the wait is long (minutes not seconds) and the road is clear, most people would cross without waiting for the green light, particularly in cold weather.

@Susiy

There are pros and cons to everyone following rules without any critical thinking.

Disagree, there are only cons…

Also, if you can’t trust your child to use their judgment to deal with road conditions, such as crossing when there’s a red man and an empty road, they aren’t old and mature enough to be on the streets alone in the first place!

So what is the point in teaching kids to follows the red/Green man lights rigidly? If they are at the age that they need such binary and absolute instructions to be safe on the roads, then they’re not old and mature enough to be safe on the roads! It’s pointless and counterproductive.

😂 This is hilarious!! I think I'd be so taken back, I'd do as I was told!

Exactly what I would have said.

that must have been the most awkward 3 minutes 😳
I get that sometimes you just freeze when a stranger person does something odd but I would have just kept walking. Assuming she wouldn’t have rugby tackled you to the ground

You did nothing wrong, she was a self important lunatic bully

I find this hilarious 😆

I live in a country where jaywalking IS illegal, and so when we visit the UK my kids are really shocked by how many people cross without waiting for the green man.

I would never stop a stranger doing it, that’s just ridiculous. I just point out that in the UK it’s legal, it’s just not a good idea. And so as their mum I am making them wait, but this lady can do what she wants as she is an adult.

We did have a cracking moment with my MIL when she started to cross and my DD got very upset and repeated the rhyme they’d been taught at kindergarten “walk on red, end up dead” 🙈🙈🙈 In DD’s defence she is autistic and very rules-focussed and was very concerned. She followed up with a genuine innocent “I don’t want you to be dead Nan”

😆

Half the people pretending they wait at the lights if there are random children there probably haven't been near a crossing in a decade.

This is by far the most sensible way to approach it.

YANBU. Pedestrians have the right to cross the road when and where they please. With rights come responsibilities, so the pedestrian has a duty of care to themself to make a risk analysis and avoid being reckless.

That’s hilarious (if not embellished 🫣) Why on earth did you wait.

This - definitely saying "we wait for the green man so we know it's safe but sometimes you get silly people who won't wait and so might get squished by a car."