Crossing the road when there’s not a green man

[JabbyMcJabFace16]

I’ve just had possibly the strangest interaction of my life and just need some opinions on it.

I was at a pretty busy junction that I cross everyday, twice a day. I know that between the first two sets of lights, there is a thirty second pause which is long enough for me to cross the road in. I went to step out during this pause when a woman stood next to me put her arm across me and said, quite pointedly “I don’t think so! We only cross when we see a green man, don’t we [child’s name]. She then held her arm across me until the green man came up.

I do understand that it’s important for parents to teach their children road safety, but I also know this junction so well and it’s absolutely freezing tonight. I was stood there for a good 3 minutes longer than I needed to be because this woman wouldn’t let me go.

AIBU to think this is just going too far?

And I hope that you feel better soon.

Generally, if there are any kids at the crossing then I do wait for the green man.

But equally, if someone crosses on the red man and I’m there with my kids I wouldn’t stop them! I’d just tell my kids that adults can make that safety decision themselves but we must wait.

I’d have told her to take her hands off me and fuck off, patronising busybody.

I bloody well wish I could! It’s hit me like a truck this week and I’d do anything to not be outside

If there’s a child waiting I wait for the green man most of the time. But if I’m late for my train or otherwise in a rush, I would not wait. And I would’ve told the woman “we also don’t interfere in the business of strangers” and crossed regardless.

I was waiting ages the other day to cross the road with my young children, loads of people were crossing anyway and I kept explaining we had to wait to be sure it was safe - when two police officers strode across while it was still red and I thought fuck it and we crossed.

I would have thought it would have made a great teaching moment for the mum to say that grown ups sometimes do unwise or even daft things, but it's a good idea for a child to not copy every single thing they see an adult do, and rather to wait until they know they are safe.

It would translate well to other situations too.

What the woman did is setting a bad example to her child. Physically preventing a stranger who's in no danger from crossing the road is bonkers behaviour and poor social skills.

She crossed a line putting her hand/arm out to block you.

Was she German?

I crossed a suburban road in Germany once when there was no traffic anywhere to be seen and the green man was taking too long to arrive.
A family of four all shouted "Das Licht!" at me as I sashayed across the pedestrian crossing.

I just ignored them.

Its also a pretty bad example to set to her child that you can just randomly intervene into strangers' [women's] lives, touch them, and tell them what to do.

Again, there's zero chance this woman would've done this to a man or someone who just looked a bit mad.

Crossing when the green man is not remotely daft and perfectly legal. Do you wait for the green man even if there are no cars?
Most adults can readily make judgements when to cross and many will be very familiar with the order of the lights.

I’d have said “I appreciate you teaching your child to cross on the green man. That is your responsibility as their parent, not mine. On the other hand, I am a grown adult and perfectly capable of judging whether I can cross a road without traffic signals, thank you”.

In the time it took to say all of that the lights would have changed!

Stopping a stranger is pretty strange but I do always make sure to use the crossing 'properly' if there is a child near by. I thought everyone did, setting a good road safty example is one of the few "it takes a village" type things I regularly see in the community.

Bloody shout it over your shoulder then as you’re halfway across the road. 😂

Well yes, but the mum would be trying to explain to the CHILD. Who is being taught to cross on the Green Man. So the mum isn't going to say that the green man is spurious and everyone can cross when they like, she's going to point out to her child that adults sometimes cross when it's not apparently safe, but it's not always sensible.

😂😂I mean "Take your fucking hand off me you rude cunt" would also suffice, right?

I wouldn’t have stopped you, but I would have rolled my eyes if I was trying to teach a young child about road safety.
I’m happy to risk assess road crossing too, but if there are parents with young children I chose to wait. Yes, it’s cold, but that’s a minor irritation.

In front of a child? Right...

To be honest if it wasn’t so cold I’d have not minded.

It’s really affected me this week. To the point I’ve ordered new hot water bottles from Amazon at midnight last night, in tears because I just couldn’t get warm

Fucking hell is this real? I don’t know what’s more surprising, that a grown woman put her arm out to stop another adult crossing the road or that you let her?! Why didn’t you just move her arm and go, she’s not your parent!

Parent of 3 here and I don’t expect anyone else to teach my child but me!

If there were kids there it's not totally unreasonable to ask you to show a good example. But to physically stop you I'd be quite taken aback at.

I wouldn't tend to shout at someone in front of their kid... and over my shoulder means you're not looking in the direction in which you're crossing against the lights!

yes, that’s typically German. And Austrian. We’ve just come back from Vienna and a police car put its siren on briefly to warn a guy running across the road on a red man. In England, if I am in a hurry and there’s a kid there I say, Never do what I’m about to! It’s very dangerous, and then I cross!

Crazy performative behaviour (not you OP). The parent could have quietly explained to their child that not everyone follows the procedure, but waiting for the green man is the safest way.