Crossing the road when there’s not a green man

[JabbyMcJabFace16]

I’ve just had possibly the strangest interaction of my life and just need some opinions on it.

I was at a pretty busy junction that I cross everyday, twice a day. I know that between the first two sets of lights, there is a thirty second pause which is long enough for me to cross the road in. I went to step out during this pause when a woman stood next to me put her arm across me and said, quite pointedly “I don’t think so! We only cross when we see a green man, don’t we [child’s name]. She then held her arm across me until the green man came up.

I do understand that it’s important for parents to teach their children road safety, but I also know this junction so well and it’s absolutely freezing tonight. I was stood there for a good 3 minutes longer than I needed to be because this woman wouldn’t let me go.

AIBU to think this is just going too far?

Why not set a good example to children and wait until the green man appears?

Well done that woman for putting you in your place

Fuck that. I wouldn’t be putting up with that nonsense and I’d be crossing if it was safe to do so regardless of Mrs Busybody. Why did you put up with it?

Because, frankly, it’s not my kid and I don’t need to set a good example. Part of being an adult is being able to judge risk against reward. I decided the risk of getting hit by a car was much lower than the reward of getting out of the cold. I don’t particularly think I needed to be put in my place! If the child points it out she could easily say “that was naughty”

I was genuinely flabbergasted. I didn’t really know what to say

This has to be a joke. I set an example to my own children and only cross with the green man when I'm with them even if I might have crossed before on my own. I don't consider other random children nor do I expect other adults to alter their behaviour about road crossing around my children.

Normally if there no traffic and it's safe or I know the regular sequence I would cross.
However if I notice a parent and young child and they are clearly teaching their child how the crossing works, or if it's a group of school children walking with their teacher or similar I will actually wait for the green man.
Children need to learn how a crossing works and unless you were running for a train then having to wait 3 minutes isn't much is it?

I don't know about "putting in your place" but I do get why she did it. It doesn't hurt to show a good example. And three minutes out of your life is really not a lot. I dont think I'd have done what she did, but I might have explained to the child that you are a grown up and so can judge things differently but children must wait. Or that you are a silly lady who might get squished.

In her place? Get a grip. It’s the child’s parent’s job to teach her child road safety. No one else’s. Besides an important lesson for children to learn is that you don’t just cross just because other people are doing so unless the green man is showing and you have checked that the coast is clear so adults crossing before can be useful.

Err no. I frequently cross when it is not a green man even near schools.
That woman can teach a child that adults can make their own judgements when to cross and when that child is older then they can, too.

I had a driver yell at me in Canada for jay walking (I think it's probably illegal.there but you'd have thought I'd robbed his granny). It was a quiet side street.

What a cheeky, patronising fucking cunt.

I'd be so, so tempted to go back to that crossing at the same time every single day and cross without the green man just to piss her off 😂

I'd also be tempted to send DH to do it and see if she does it to him. I very much doubt it.

I have felt so unwell with the cold this week. To the point I’ve not slept properly for two nights because I’ve been shivering in bed, even with a dressing gown and blankets on top of me. I don’t know what’s wrong with me but I just wanted to get inside and out of the cold.

While I actually do often try to set a good example in such things to random kids, I also think they have to learn that here in the UK it's an unwritten understanding that if it's safe to cross, you just go for it, regardless of lights 🙂

She's obviously completely batshit.

You do you.

I do generally wait for the green man though. I'm a stickler for the rules!

🤣🤣🤣

Ya wanna keep that arm?

I’d be flabbergasted too but not for 3 whole minutes, Hopefully you’ll be better prepared if you encounter that loon again.

At least if I was squished I might finally feel warm! I just don’t think it’s really my responsibility

She had no right to do that to you and jaywalking is not illegal in the UK. That said, and maybe I am soft, whenever I see an adult holding a child's hand I always wait for the green man.

I've had this! Not someone physically holding their arm in front of me but a mother calling after me as I crossed the (empty) road on a red man that there was a CHILD PRESENT, I should be setting a better example, as if I'd just done a strip tease in front of her. I didn't realise it was an actual thing multiple people did. Flabbergasted.

I only wish the person who intervened also taught their young child things such as 'if you see a BMW, the driver probably won't use indicators'. I don't think her comment was unreasonable.

Some people on this thread need to give back their Tufty Club badges - tut tut!

I would have rolled my eyes at her saying it.

But personally when there are young children I do tend to wait to help model because they do watch everyone.

You don't need to justify to random strangers on the internet why you crossed the road without the green man, OP.

You're a grown woman. You did a thing. Own it. Stop being a wet lettuce. Jesus.

And yes it's far too cold to be standing still for any longer than you have to today. Abolish winter.

Cheeky bitch! We all know the annoyance of teaching our children to wait for the green man or cross at the zebra when other people are clearly not bothering, but parents don’t get to dictate what other adults do just because they have a job to do.

You should have walked on anyway and just let her complain about you loudly to her child, which she would have done.