To be paranoid my husband has old sperm?

[Grenko]

Dh and I have a bit of an age gap. I am 30 and he is 44. Just about to turn 45.

He has no children. Husband and his ex tried to conceive via ivf but it was not possible due to a condition his ex wife has.

We have been together for 3 years. Married for 1. We agreed we would start trying in early 2026.

We went to a fertility clinic a few months ago and things were very positive. But obviously we did touch upon DH’s age and sperm quality.

Ever since I really have just been a little anxious. The chances of a child havings things like autism and schizophrenia are far greater. Which makes me nervous.

I know even young sperm does not guarantee a healthy baby. But all of a sudden I’m really starting to get stressed about this

Don’t worry until there’s something to worry about would be my advice ! It only takes 1 swimmer out of millions … X

Wow , that was rude !

Summary from the interwebs:
As men get older, sperm quality generally declines, which can lead to reduced fertility. This decline is due to decreased motility (movement), lower semen volume, and a higher rate of DNA damage in the sperm. While men can remain fertile later in life, these age-related changes increase the time it takes to conceive and can slightly raise the risk for certain health conditions in offspring.

My DH is over a decade older. We started trying to convince when I was 33. Took a while to conceive both times and we had one miscarriage too but both attempts I was successfully pregnant within a year. The only thing I would say is just start now- it all takes a lot longer than you imagine.

ie: if it takes 9 months to get pregnant you won’t have a baby til halfway through 2027 anyway. And it might take longer.

It’s not ideal but the risk is actually quite low. It’s just a bit more on top of a small risk!

I’d be more concerned about his age for general parenting. He’ll be in the range for having dependents when he’s retiring.

It is a bit late to worry about his age now, unless you intend not to have children with him because of it. Yup, older sperm is on average not as healthy as younger sperm, in the same way that women's fertility is affected by age.

If you want to improve your odds, you could ask him to stop drinking alcohol and smoking for at least 6 months before TTC. The sperm cycle in men is about 3 months, so doing it for 6 months should guarantee that the sperm in question have been produced under a healthier regime. Add in pre-conception supplements for men and a very healthy diet for that period and you will have done as much as you can do I think.

But true

Did he have proper testing at the IVF clinic rather than just a basic semen analysis? If he did then he’s been checked out and there’s nothing more you can do, if not if I were him I would book in with an Andrologist for a full checkup and advice - if you live in/ can travel to London then Jonathan Ramsay is very good.

Well, there's nothing you can actually do about this. You can't magically make your husband younger.

The chances of any problems occurring with your baby as a result of your husband being in his 40s are still very slim. Millions of men become dads in their 40s with no problems.

Do you know the stats on this? Because I've read up on it too and it's hardly "far greater". For example, three times as likely to cause something with a 1% chance is still only a 3% chance. Which means a 97% chance of things being fine. Autism and schizophrenia both have genetic links and it's more likely that this runs in families rather than due to old sperm.

When you went to the fertility clinic did they not test your husband's sperm?

Are you both doing the best you can to be as healthy as possible for conception? If not then why not?

Old sperm?? Ageist much? I hate to break it to you but in all fairness at 30 your eggs are probably not exactly going to be budding Olympic gymnasts either.

Not really - true doesn’t always mean rude you know! OP presumably knew DH’s age when she married him.

It should be fine for his age.
Did you not consider the age gap earlier.

I wonder if Mick Jagger worried this much.

Well ... a bit. But she did, and he can't help his age, which she knew when she embarked on this journey with him. It's sort of the wrong time to be dwelling on it.

If it's any comfort op, many of my friends had at least one and often more of their dc when both were over 40. It's not such an unusual age these days.

Is he healthy? Active? I think that’s pretty important too.

My DP was 41 when we had DD. I was 36. We’re both sprightly vegetarians who like walking so I was never worried! Anyone can be unlucky of course, and were extremely fortunate to have our little star.

I was thinking all this too.

OPs post says the chance of autism is higher with an older man, is this true? I've never heard this before. I can't imagine this is correct, there are endless debates about the cause of autism and I don't ever remember hearing it's because of parental age.

I wouldn't worry. My DH is 11 years older and was aged 50 when we had our third DC.She.is certainly very healthy.

You've got to be positive, worrying isn't going to change your chances or his sperm quality.

You can’t compare a 45 year old reproductive quality to a 30 year old’s. At 30 your fertility is still very good.

I’ve no idea but from our POV our eldest , who was conceived when my husband was 33 has autism , albeit he is extremely high functioning and our youngest who was conceived when my husband was 40 does not .