A question of etiquette

[KittyFanesParasol]

I work remotely, as do all of the staff in my company.

I work closely with a man, let's call him Greg, and we get on together very well and refer to each other as work "besties", yep, we are infantile.

I've have 3 primary aged sons who all come over and say hi to him on Teams meetings etc (only if it is the two of us obviously).

I'd really like to send Greg a Christmas card as I do personalised photo ones, but don't know his address (I do know roughly where his town is but don't think that is going to cut it with Royal Mail).

Is it inappropriate to ask for his address if I put it in context for him? I don't want him to feel under pressure.

He had no partner who might be made uncomfortable by this. We've met in person several times at events and get on well.

YABU: Don't do this, it's inappropriate
YANBU: Sure. Why not?

I would send him an online card, as that is how you interact professionally. You could offer to put a real one in the post and see what response you get. That puts the ball in his court without making it awkward.

Well until OP gave her update about her colleagues sexual preferences and the fact she is single we had no way of knowing whether OP had a DH or DP who was already feeling uncomfortable about OP and the closeness of her relationship with this guy.

You only have to read the countless, and quite frankly heartbreaking, threads on MN where inappropriate relationships have caused so much insecurity and unhappiness. And often these relationships with colleagues begin in a very seemingly innocent way and then develop into emotional affairs.

So no, sending a Christmas card doesn't mean a person wants to shag someone but it can have huge significence in developing closeness between 2 people. And can sometimes be inappropriate in context.

@KittyFanesParasolI gave someone at work my home address, they looked up my house on Google Street view and looked at how much I paid for my house, very invasive and creepy.
I don't give my address out to anyone now.
Not suggesting that you're a creepy stalker 😁
I'd send an e-card

I work in corporate law which is as professional as you can get and we have breastfeeding babies, toddlers sitting on parent's laps, kids wandering past and waving, cats, dogs and even a guinea pig on Teams calls. Only on internal ones obviously!

I would love it if one of my close colleagues did this!
If it’s a more distant relationship then not, but it sounds as though you have built a friendship so I think it’s lovely.

It seems weird you're overthinking it so much. If he's a colleague send it to the workplaces office he's based out of and someone will forward it on or hand it to him when he's in.
Or just say 'can I have your address for an Xmas card please?'

Why would you assume if he had a partner they wouldn't approve of it? Unless you genuinely fancy him?

As I have already said, we do not have physical office.

I'm not doing an ecard as they look so lazy and i just press delete on them.

Thank you to all the posters who have been helpful.

I'd ask, too. The worst that happens is he says no. If you kept pushing it after that, it would be weird, but I assume you not going to.

The only thing odd about this is that you think it would be strange to just say 'Can I have your address for my Christmas card list?' The fact that you do think this makes me wonder what 'etiquette' you think you might be breaching, and the fact that you mention him not having a partner makes me think about whether you view him in a sexual light.

Sorry the card you plan to send has pictures of your children on it? No. A generic card or an e-card is fine. A card with your children on it is ott. He is being polite to your kids when they are passing by during a meeting just send him a e card.

Sorry. I assumed most businesses must have a postal address.
Just ask him.

“I’ve got a Christmas card here for you Greg. Can I have your address please so I can pop it in the post?”

It’s his address, not his medical history.

Why is that ott??

e-card

This.

Use what is in your arena already, you know his email address being a work colleague

Because she does not know him well enough to have his address or feel confident enough to ask for it without looking for reassurance from strangers. Then she does not know him well enough to send him pictures of her kids. Lets me honest the card is most likely going to be binned shortly after Christmas.

Cards like that are suited more to family and close friends who know the children well and not just in passing on a computer screen.

Drop it into your next conversation - 'I have been busy doing Christmas admin, pressies, writing cards - oh, that reminds me, are you happy to give me your address so I can pop yours in the post...'

I don’t think it’s appropriate.

I would take it as a friendly gesture. What is wrong with people nowadays all this creeping around, scared

i am surprised people find this invasive. I send close colleagues Christmas cards in the mail each year after asking for their addresses!

I would tend towards giving him a Christmas card in person 🎄

Asking for someone's income or sexual preferences is invasive, not a postal address. It's an address............just an address.

Less awkward than not awkward at all?

Pretty much everyone does this! Your house price is public information!