To think adults shouldn’t talk about Santa not being real in earshot of young children?

[crinklechips]

On public transport this morning a trio of women were chatting loudly about preparing for Christmas, including efforts they were making to convince their DC that Santa and elves was real (hiding presents, moving the elf etc)

There were a couple of young children in earshot (not mine).

I felt like tapping the women them on the shoulder and asking them to keep it down.

In the end the conversation moved on but should I have said something?

Should adults (especially parents who are bought in to “keeping the magic alive”) be mindful of not accidentally ruining it for others?

Lol you can't police people chatting in the bus No big deal. I think kids " choose" to believe as long as they like

You can’t police other people’s behaviour. The ‘keeping the magic alive’ thing is an adult obsession, anyway.

We never did the ‘Santa is literally real’ thing, anyway, but the children who did believe in DS’s class did so despite the presence in their class of children who didn’t celebrate Christmas at all and children from cultural backgrounds that didn’t have FC bringing the presents.

You should have called the police

So not your children or your conversation - no you shouldn’t have said anything. It’s not other people’s responsibility to collude with parents in telling their children a load of made up nonsense. It’d probably be unreasonable to have their conversation while standing in a queue at Santa’s grotto but on a bus I think it’s fine.

You can't police people chatting, but if they are actively 'keeping the magic alive' for their own children, it's pretty shitty of them to spoil it for other children.

I wouldn't have asked them to stop necessarily but maybe catch their eye to signal the kids nearby.

I think it depends exactly what they were saying. If they were saying something along the lines of 'keeping the magic alive' or whatever, then children aren't going to know what that means. Also, as a parent, I'd be hearing the conversation too and I would talk to my kids so they couldn't listen/hear. If the parent was concerned, they would have done this.

Surely this, and anything else they overhear, is resolved by making up more lies 🤷🏽‍♀️

I would have told my kids that their kids were probably naughty and that's why santa doesn't come to them.

It was a very direct conversation about their children’s doubts about Santa and what they were doing as parents to convince them he is real. A child would definitely have known what they were on about.

But children deal on a daily basis with their friends telling them Santa isn't real, with department store grotto Santas with unimpressive fake beards and tracksuit bottoms poking out from under their costume, with children from other cultural backgrounds not getting presents from Santa, with seeing TV films, ads etc with wildly varying depictions of Santa and and the workings of the North Pole etc, discovering hidden presents etc etc.

I think it was very selfish of them to be worrying about keeping the magic alive for their children while not worrying about spoiling it for other kids!

Neither I nor DS 'chose' to believe when we were young, once we got to 10 that was different and we both guessed from classroom chitchat.

Believing in FC made Christmas really exciting and magical for me as a child and I would have been gutted if it had been spoilt by oblivious, self absorbed adults on a bus. I think it would have been worth politely saying something.

I think people overthink this massively. I don't remember there being a big conspiracy about it in years gone by (admittedly perhaps I was not aware as I was a child!) but I don't remember ever having a huge devastating reveal where I "realised" the whole santa story was a game. I knew from quite early on that it was parents and played along anyway. I think if you're more casual about it in the first place this is what happens and there is no upset doing it that way.

It is funny though that these particular parents WERE willing to go to a huge amount of effort to "preserve" the santa myth for their own children and yet showed spectacular unawareness of the whole thing in relation to other nearby children.

I’m mortified that my son still believes and wish we had never even talked about Santa. He’s autistic and I reckon 90% of his class know he’s not real and now I’m scared someone will call him a baby. It’s a silly thing we do actually. But yeah the women should have been more considerate as well.

Talking about atheism in front of religious kids - I'm absolutely in favour of this, and would encourage it.
Talking about Santa not being real in front of Santa-phile kids? Big no no! Keep it real, folks! ✊🎅

This is a tricky one. Kids are smarter than they're given credit for. They'll figure it out and then it'll either be "Yeah, I knew." or "You LIED to me?!" once they get older. It all rather depends on how much flack you're willing to take as a parent vs the amount of bs you're willing to tell them to keep the magic alive.

Yeah. This ^

I remember very clearly asking my mum on our walk to school one morning, why she and father christmas used the same wrapping paper! It was my infant school we were heading towards (I could take you to almost the exact spot on the pavement!), so I'm guessing it was the Christmas not long after I turned 6, or the one after I'd just been 7.

It wasn't a big trauma by any stretch, when mum told me the truth. Just an "Oh, right." I do remember her telling me not to tell any of my friends at school, and credit to my child-self, I never did.

I think the whole "must keep the secret!" has become much more serious over the years. It used to be just a cute thing parents did for their kids, but it was no big deal. It now seems like it's much more of a "thing".

Yes. Get it logged on 101

WiggyWiggyImGettingJiggy
"I would have told my kids that their kids were probably naughty and that's why santa doesn't come to them."

Ridiculous.

Once kids are old enough to question it, they will pretty much figure out Santa isn't real straight away. I don't know why we bother with it to be honest. It probably made more sense years ago when kids got gifts made out of wood, now they get boxed toys with "Made in China" printed on the box, yet we expect them to believe Santa's elves made them at the North Pole?

I say the same about the whole elf on a shelf thing.

I've already made up a story about a man going around the world delivering presents, if they are still young enough to believe then I'll make up any old shit to keep the magic for the few years they believe.

I'm not really bothered if you find it ridiculous, the whole Santa thing is ridiculous anyway.

I think they should have been more considerate, but they probably just weren't thinking.

I'm increasingly worried about what will happen when my kids find out. I think my younger son already suspects and will be fine (he is quite a cynical and questioning character) But my older son was in floods of tears yesterday after he found out that the tooth fairy wasn't real! 😭 (He asked the Google speaker, to try to prove his younger brother wrong, but unfortunately it backfired!)

Luckily Google gives a delightfully opaque answer when asked if Santa is real!

The world doesn't revolve around your child and whether they believe in Father Christmas. Don't be ridiculous.

I'm guessing they hadn't really thought about the fact there were children around and were just engrossed in their conversation. Given "preserving the magic" was literally what they were taking about I thought they would probably have felt terrible about the fact they might be ruining it for other children - I wouldn't have stepped in to "police" them but was trying to find a way I could subtly bring it to their attention.

And I could see a dad with a child maybe about 7ish sat near them who seemed to be making noticeably big effort to keep his child's attention so I thought he was trying to avoid his son overhearing.

There are subjects that should not be discussed around young children and people should be aware of the impact such discussion can have on young children

Santa not being real or hints that there isn't a santa is not one of them

I agree with you op.

As a child I was led to believe Santa was more of a delivery service so it made perfect sense toys were made in China, Santa just go them from a to b.

I remember thinking “why does Santa need a mince pie in every house he visits, that’s a lot of mince pies - maybe my dad eats it?” but not feeling at all sceptical about the possibility of one person visiting every house in a single night with their flying reindeer. Kid logic is weird!