An inheritance one

[Spicyspice]

Did you/will you inherit from your grandparents? Or did everything go to your parents?

Was having a conversation with someone who feels hard done by, I’ll call him Tom. Toms grandparents have left Toms parents a big inheritance. Tom feels that his parents should have shared it with him as his parents are already wealthy.

It’s not really something I’d ever thought about as neither my parents or grandparents have any money/assets but does Tom have a point?

Tom - yanbu
Tom - yabu

Toms GPs can leave their money to whoever but most leave their estate to their children not grandchildren and it is nothing to do with need but on who they feel they want to leave their estate to. My grandparents left their assets to my parents and my mums will says everything to me and my brother and sister. Ours leaves our assets to our daughters. Having said that I would share any inheritance with my daughters anyway because they need it more than us. Maybe Toms parents will do the same.

I think Toms parents should help him so YANBU. I can’t imagine being incredibly wealthy and not helping my struggling son.

It's not remotely greedy to expect a likely thing to happen. I mean there's no evidence that Tom stormed into his parents house and demanded his rightful share? All he did is tell his friend that his rich parents didn't give him a bung when they became richer. Why should any sentient adult have to pretend to be surprised by a lovely inheritance? If its your own parents or gps, it's literally an expectation.

I got my grandad’s fountain pen, other grandad’s wooden measuring stick (he was a carpenter), nana’s rolling pin and other nana’s engagement ring. Funnily enough the engagement ring means the least to me as her original was stolen years before and they had to buy a cheap replacement - it’s not the monetary value, it’s the fact it has a sad history.

Apologies, double post!

I think, ultimately, it’s up to the individual who they leave their money and assets to, no one else should have input (within reason!).

On a personal level though, I can actually see the benefit of skipping a generation with inheritance. With people living so much longer these days, one may not lose a parent til they themselves are in their 60s or 70s even. It seems a bit silly, to me, to leave an inheritance to people who are long established in their lives and finances (hopefully!) rather than young adults in the thick of the hard years of child rearing/attempts at home ownership (ever harder these days!).

An elderly relative caused uproar recently, as she decided to leave the vast majority of her estate as a straight split between her children but had the audacity to split the rest between her grandchildren (all adults, between 18 and 35). Unfortunately one of her three children got so angry at this idea (she should’ve kept her mouth shut!) it caused a terrible upset with everyone landing on different sides of the argument. It was an objectively insignificant amount anyway, maybe £6k per GC. Nothing so ugly as arguments over someone else’s money!

My Mum is including a good chunk to grandkids in her will.

I'm comfortable so more than happy for her to do this. It's the right thing as far as I'm concerned.

Think if I was skint I might feel differently.

My granny (dad’s side) left everything to her kids. Paid off their mortgage.

My mums side - her stepmum was the same age as her (!!) and is still alive. I assume she will leave the house to my mums step brothers.

Tom is being a dick.

MY gran split her will equally between her children and her grandchildren. We a
l got the same amount .

Where did I say "Tom stormed into his parents house and demanded his rightful share"? If you have to invent things you've lost the argument.
And you're clearly as entitled as Tom.

I know a family who have x3 grown up children, they each have 3, 2, 1 children respectively.

The grandparents want to split the inheritance with the children 6 ways

But of course one said (the one with one child) that is should be split in thirds, meaning of course their child would get double/triple to themselves.

Honestly you can't win with inheritance. No matter what you try and do.

(We inherited from my parents and have effectively parked it until the teens need it for property purchase, or if they aren't going to buy somewhere putting into a pension or something). That is our choice, we have decided we are fine, our children will need it more. But we are a simpler family, on both sides there is just our children, so no conflict of interest or splitting either or each way, straight forward to us-to them.

Both sets of my GP left everything to their children (my parents) but my parents then gave gifts to us children.
When my parents died, the majority of the estate went to us children however a smaller proportion was left to GC.

My Grandmother's house was in her kids name with the intention for it to be sold and the proceeds shared between the grandkids. My Dad kept his share which was his legal right.

My Dad is leaving his house to his grandkids so me and my siblings won't get anything, I don't care though.

Oh, I didn't take it as personal criticism. It really was an "I get that and it's a risk, but what's the option?".

I take your point that I'm leaving the money to the generation right below me (it still feels like skipping a generation (my brother), but he's my generation), so less likely to be an issue of more kids after my death. I suppose a possible question of fairness as I refer to my cousin's children as my niece and nephews too and am quite close to them, but am only leaving to my brother's kids. But, really, no one has expectations or pressures (as I said above, if anything, my brother is clear that I shouldn't be worrying about leaving his kids anything.

And, I realise that I am lucky (as is my family) that no one needs my money. The aforementioned cousin earns 7 figures a year (not discussed but based on her job) Her kids don't need my money.

Thinking about it, my grandparents did skip a generation. But that was because my grandfather died just before my mother (and my mom was in palliative care at that point and was clearly going to die soon) and my grandmother had already died. The will was written that the estate would be split between their children and, if any child predeceased him, it went to that child's children. Technically, my mom didn't predecease him, but it still went to us (I honestly don't know if he rewrote his will or it was just an agreement and my dad went with it - we aren't in the UK and I honestly don't know what the rules for doing so are).

We had a situation whereby an elderly family member (widower) decided to leave his money as follows:

Son A (married with 2 children) - 1/9 each to son, son's wife and each child
Son B (bachelor, no children) - 1/9 to him
Son C (married with 2 children) - 1/9 each to son, son's wife and each child

Son A was more than happy with this, but was concerned about Son B losing out on his share just for being unmarried and having no kids.

Son B was perfectly happy with this - a very generous, unselfish man, and he may even have suggested this split - although it obviously reduced his equal share by two thirds.

Son C was bitterly annoyed and insisted that it should instead have been split three ways between the sons - not because he didn't want Son B to lose out, but because that would mean that he would have got more for himself, even though the total amount shared between his own immediate family would thus have been less!

I can understand Tom's point of view however it's not his money and not his choice to make.

I’ve heard of gps leaving to gc but it was always as a middle finger up to their own children (heard a radio show the other day and THREE texters were asking about making sure grandchildren got covered if they were leaving out their children, two stated it it was because their children had gotten a lot over their lifetime, one was nc, the two radio people were saying maybe just give your children a token something) Seems mad to me to bypass your kids if you’re passing anything down, would understand if you’re not

Tom's an entitled brat. Tell him he'll get it all when his parents are dead.

I will likely inherit around half a million from my parents in my mid sixties. DH and I are mortgage free, with more than enough in pensions and savings to live more than comfortably for the rest of our lives. I plan to pass my inheritance straight onto my two children, for whom the money will be transformative - we’ve helped them both onto the housing ladder already but this will allow them to become mortgage free by their mid-30s. I would think less of any parents in the same position as us who wouldn’t do this, to be honest.

My remaining parent left his house to my sister and me. We chose to share our good fortune with our children.

Most of my money (not a huge amount, doubt there will be inheritance tax) goes to my DH but we both have a small amount going to the DGC. Once we both leave this planet it goes to the DC.
My aunt caused uproar. She had no DC so left her money to my DF, her remaining sibling, and several animal charities.
My cousins feel very hard done by because their DP had pre deceased her so nothing of hers will trickle down to them.
My DM pointed out that she hadn’t seen them visiting her when she was alone at home and later when she went into a home. I adored my aunt, we were very alike, and she loved me but I would have been very surprised if she’d left me a penny.
I’ve told my parents to spend their money and they are taking me at my word! 😂

I would say bit of both.

If his parents do not need the wealth and would make their (adult) child's life easier then I don't know why they wouldn't. I doubt the grandparent would want them suffering.

But I don't think it should be a given.

DH is in this scenario that GM estate left to her children. They have decided to split the estate between all GCs and themselves. I think if solely been his Uncle then it would have skipped straight to GCs but MIL wasn't happy. MIL also very much about appearance so is splitting through gritted teeth.

I had a wealthy set of grandparents, they paid for my first car and a really good computer for university and were generally very generous as grandparents. When they died, us GC got £10K each. My Dad and his siblings got the rest BUT my grandparents would have trusted them to pass on as and when was needed to us which they have.

I'm cringing a bit for Tom going round saying he should have had access to their money but at the same time, if his parents are wealthy, irrespective of the inheritance, I think they should pass some to Tom for a house deposit or a couple of holidays. This is assuming Tom is quite hard up or needs money to get on the housing ladder for example. Of course the definition of wealthy is subjective and the level at which people are comfortable to give away some of their money is going to differ. For the purposes of this thread, I'm assuming say £1m savings/investment over and above a house and pension so they could easily give Tom £100K for a decent deposit.

I know a “Tom”and he is very angry that his 88 year mother is still alive and “spending all of his inheritance”. He is actually incensed. I hope she leaves it all to the DGC. “Tom” does not have children.

His DM did give him and sibling money when she sold her house, but he wants want he believes is his, now.

It is quite unpleasant to hear him going on about it. And more so when we see them both, because he actually says it to her in company.

We have tried to defuse the situation, which makes him more angry and so see him less.

There will always be entitled, greedy “Toms” in the world.

I will inherit from my grandparents. And so will my children.
Majority will go to my parents but there a portion for all her close descendants.
Its obviously completely up to the person in question.