To be frustrated by DofE requirements

[Frenchcremefraiche]

My daughter has just turned 15 and is trying to complete (well, START tbh!) her Bronze DofE.

On paper it's fine: learn something and do some volunteering.

In reality it's really, really hard! All suggestions appreciated!

There are so many exclusions to the skill requirement. She doesnt get home from school until 6 which limits evenings. Not that there are many lessons/groups after school anyway. Then there are so few activities that count as a skill on the weekend. Anything vaguely "sporty" doesnt count as a skill even if it's something she's never done before and is going to classes to learn it (eg ice skating). She's been doing online guitar lessons but because she started those before DofE, they dont count. There is a minimum hours requirement and Ive found a few in person classes but they arent long enough. It needs to be something in person because it needs to be signed off so teaching herself or doing something at home wont count.

Then volunteering, because of her age, very few places can help. Any informal groups that are willing to take her want a parent present because they cant take responsibility for her / arent DBS checked etc which I get but obviously she doesnt want me hanging about. It has to be a regular thing so she cant organise eg an afternoon litter pick. Plus she needs someone to sign it off anyway. She looked at helping at a local beaver/scout group but one said no and the other has her ex boyfriend helping so she said no. In her naive 15year old way she wont help at brownies because they are "sexist".

Any suggestions on what she can do? She's on the verge of having to quit because she cant meet the requirements.

There is something odd about this. Either the person running the DofE at her school has not read the guidelines properly and is applying them way too strictly, or deep down your daughter doesn't really want to do it, or deep down, you don't really want her to do it, or a combination.
Things that you keep saying she is "not allowed" to do:

1. online guitar lessons - these are fine, ideally her teacher signs it off, if self taught, get a family friend, one of her teachers, a neighbour to do it
2. It does not have to be once a week - the guidelines state the equivalent of once a week. My daughter does hiking as her physical (she is not sporty at all) - she goes on big 6-7 hour hikes with me about once a month, and it comfortably covers the equivalent hours. A family friend who also hikes signs it off.

I suspect the DofE organiser is being way too strict - in which case, read the guidelines yourself carefully, and then complain to them, and if she really wants to do it, just tell them she IS going to do guitar lessons etc. If they still refuse, do the DofE through a different organisation, or just don't bother. It could also be that your daughter doesn't want to do it - a lot of kids are very excited about doing it at first, but when the reality of actually having to do something hits, they soon drift off the idea. And as PP have said, it's all a bit pointless really - it's not going to help her get into uni/get a job or anything useful in life. My DD does it, because she absolutely loves everything she does for it, but I'd be quite happy for her not to bother. Just leave you DD to it, if it doesn't happen who cares?

I dont know but shes been told and has double checked.

Basically she has to volunteer/do her skill for 1hr a week each with someone who can sign it off there and then.

It had to he signed at the start to say it's a new skill and signed off at the end to say the skill has been achieved and that the person has done it weekly. Not that it has to he signed weekly

Tbh, from memory, Bronze requires a weekly commitment for around 6 weeks. If she can't commit to something for 6 weeks, maybe she doesn't actually deserve the award? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Either your dd is confused or lying or your school have totally misunderstood. It clearly says all the suggestions like duolingo are accepted on the dofe website. Everyone is telling you the same thing. Show your daughter the dofe website!!

DD helped out at the local library on Saturdays and one afternoon after school.

My DS did virtually the same. For his skill he was learning a new sailing format (had already been a competitive sailor for years but had never done team racing, which he was learning through school anyway). For volunteering he did 6 hours worth of litter picks. We went as a family and took pictures and a strava map each time. The sport was just participation in school rugby.

I think either you are your school are overthinking how hard it has to be.

Because school finishes at 530. They follow typical working day patterns.

Do you know anyone who knits or crochets? Maybe you can or DD can but can lie and say she's learning?

If you could get a mate or family member to sign off that she's having weekly lessons then she (and you) can knock out some blankets with charity shop wool and donate them to homeless charities. That way she's both learning and donating.

Me and my Nan used to knit little easter chicks and santa hats and pop a choc egg/choc bauble in them for charities at Xmas. We either sold them at a quid a pop or donated them. Your local food bank would snatch your hand off.

If you have a local Salvation Army, they might have a homeless shelter or open for the homeless to eat a few days a week.

They are usually very happy for help.

The problem with the volunteering is that the commitment from the child is so minimal - an hour a week for 12 weeks if I remember correctly. We used to have DofE volunteers in the charity shop where I was also a volunteer and they were just a waste of space. They still had to get all the health and safety and induction training as everyone else, but you knew they would be out of the door as soon as their 12 weeks was done. And how much exactly can you achieve in an hour? Then there are all the issues around DBS/PVG checks. We stopped accepting under 16s who would not commit to a minimum 4 hour shift.

My two older kids had their DofE cut short by the pandemic, one completed bronze but not silver, the other didn't get to complete bronze. For the skill the older one did photography, joined a club and kept a portfolio to mark progress. The younger one had singing lessons. Older one volunteered in a charity shop and did 3 hours a week, kept it up after he had completed the award because he enjoyed it. The younger one did Rainbows.

And learning to knit/crochet would be a useful skill. Loads of tutorials on line or ask at your nearest wool shop

This was years ago, but when I did it, I did oragami as a skill and my friend did calligraphy, and the art teacher at school signed it off.

My DD did cooking as her skill and a family friend signed it off and then she volunteered on a Saturday morning with the little kids at her dance school.

She needs to volunteer anywhere that will have her. Being so picky isn't in the spirit of it.

Can you chat to the people running her DofE? It sounds like they have higher requirements than many of the posters on here experienced so maybe they need to adjust if it is unworkable

I agree that this is an issue.

Might be worth emailing the school for clarification because other schools definitely allow easier activities.

Maybe DD is saying no to things she doesn't want to do and blaming school when they would allow it?

They sound very picky. DofE website says nothing of the sort. But I suppose you could have a neighbour round for a cuppa while she does a weekly Duolingo blitz or a guitar practice. Similarly, volunteering can include independent fundraising providing someone signs it off. So setting up a cake bake or a coffee morning includes all the planning, advertising, shopping, cooking, tidying away, cashing up. Or doing a sponsored walk includes getting all the promises, collecting the cash, going to the bank.

You can definitely use skills, sports etc that you started before DifE - you have to show progression as well as regular commitment, so for a musical instrument you've already done grade 3 in, it might be attending weekly lessons and reaching grade 4.

It shouldn't be easy to do, but there are lots of ideas on the website.

I work in a school library and have had DoE bronze students multiple times. Helping out before school and/or during lunchtimes or study periods helps rack up hours easily during school time.
I usually set them a little project to work on so they know exactly what to do when they come in, even if I'm not there.

My dd volunteered in a charity shop at that age.

I think the Brownies sounds fine and she should just do that if she wants the D of e and you can’t find anything else.

For a skill she was able to use her cello lessons albeit already learning and then she did bouldering as a sport. I am sure you can use a skill you’re already learning if you can show progression.

It doesn’t sound as though your dd is massively keen on it tbh - it is supposed to take some time and be over and above what she would usually do - otherwise what’s the point? You can’t just say “I want to do it but for it not to take up any additional time or effort than I usually put in”.

Also, I think too much of this is coming from you in terms of putting in the effort to think of activities! She needs to put her mind to it, and some effort in.

Have she tried asking on your local Facebook page? There may be somewhere running Christmas events that needs help. How about primary school PTA?

I did Bronze, Silver and Gold DoE and in my humble opinion it was an absolutely giant waste of time. If it doesn't work for her I wouldn't bother tbh.

I'm sure that isn't right after what other posters have said - not every Duolingo session would be signed off.

I did find the weekly requirement to be unhelpful when I ran a Guiding group as it was weekends, every other week, for twice the time - the time commitment for volunteers was the same but some weren't allowed.
I didn't sign off every attendance though for most of the DofE volunteers we had - I signed at the end totalling the number of hours and sessions, and commenting on the commitment.

Surely you have a friend or relative with a business who could offfer to sign it off or blag it for them. Thats what families and personal contacts are for. I have several online stores and therefore a checkable web presence. I did this for one of my great nieces last summer. She helped out with a couple of photo shoots for product and did some packing.

Definitely this. The criteria and guidance are published on their website and it's worth having a look. It sounds like perhaps the school DofE coordinator is being a bit inflexible, and you had your DD are accepting that things "aren't acceptable" when they could be well within the guidance.

We've found that self-taught or self-guided skill activities were 100% ok as long as there was a person who could review and sign off. Do you know anyone outside your family who plays the guitar and could act in that role?

The volunteer bit is tricky. It’s a shame, I completely understand the constraints, but they are ripe for getting a work ethic and learning inter personal skills at this age - both things they desperately need because of the lack of Saturday jobs and phone issues.

mine did young leading as it was the only one we could find.

charity shops seem a possibility in some areas.