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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be frustrated by DofE requirements

651 replies

Frenchcremefraiche · 16/11/2025 09:18

My daughter has just turned 15 and is trying to complete (well, START tbh!) her Bronze DofE.

On paper it's fine: learn something and do some volunteering.

In reality it's really, really hard! All suggestions appreciated!

There are so many exclusions to the skill requirement. She doesnt get home from school until 6 which limits evenings. Not that there are many lessons/groups after school anyway. Then there are so few activities that count as a skill on the weekend. Anything vaguely "sporty" doesnt count as a skill even if it's something she's never done before and is going to classes to learn it (eg ice skating). She's been doing online guitar lessons but because she started those before DofE, they dont count. There is a minimum hours requirement and Ive found a few in person classes but they arent long enough. It needs to be something in person because it needs to be signed off so teaching herself or doing something at home wont count.

Then volunteering, because of her age, very few places can help. Any informal groups that are willing to take her want a parent present because they cant take responsibility for her / arent DBS checked etc which I get but obviously she doesnt want me hanging about. It has to be a regular thing so she cant organise eg an afternoon litter pick. Plus she needs someone to sign it off anyway. She looked at helping at a local beaver/scout group but one said no and the other has her ex boyfriend helping so she said no. In her naive 15year old way she wont help at brownies because they are "sexist".

Any suggestions on what she can do? She's on the verge of having to quit because she cant meet the requirements.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
17
Sharptonguedwoman · 16/11/2025 18:20

Local animal sanctuary?

ilovemeahack · 16/11/2025 18:20

My daughter volunteered at her local Junior Parkrun on a Sunday morning. She didn’t have to do a DBS for the group she did it for. My son did his gold and ran a lunch club at his school (he was in 6th form).

ThisTaupeZebra · 16/11/2025 18:23

I never did DofE myself, but we have DofE volunteers at our Junior Parkrun and they are an important part of what keeps it going. I think having some outdoorsy, sporty teenagers at it works really well for the kids that go, actually.

BlueSlate · 16/11/2025 18:26

OneFootAfterTheOther · 16/11/2025 18:05

@BlueSlate my DC have done the same skill all the way through.. (as did I a million years ago). They had so set more advanced goals each time, but it was the same thing.

My son did the same. That was the point I was making because the OP said her daughter had been told it had to be something new that they hadn't done before.

RampantIvy · 16/11/2025 18:29

A school that finishes at 5:30pm? I am guessing that she is in a private school?

School from 9 until 5.30, then homework on top of that? That's ridiculous.

axolotlfloof · 16/11/2025 18:32

DS did litter picking for his skill. A local community group signed it off, but I am sure a teacher would if they took photos.
DS1 grew seedlings and sold them: fundraising.
DS2 is now 16 and he is helping a younger child in school for an hour week.
1 did cooking for his skill, the other did learning coding.

Hohumdedum · 16/11/2025 18:32

I used guitar for mine which I did already. I just had to show progress.

busybusybusy2015 · 16/11/2025 18:33

I know someone's mentioned a school chess club for "skills" but has anyone in the thread suggested a bridge club? I'm serious: mentally challenging, lifelong skill. I really regret our school bridge club folded when the organising teacher left, as I'm now way, way too old to pick it up as a skill (memory not up to it, I fear!). Possible to fit in over lunchtime, rather than necessarily after school.

Richardoo · 16/11/2025 18:36

As a guiding leader I can't get past the absurdity of your DD calling Brownies sexist. We do everything within our powers to empower and promote girls. What on earth does she think we do at guiding meetings?
Personally I'd leave her to it, I've seen lots of kids go through DofE, it really isn't this much of a palaver. But it's not for all kids and that's fine.

ChubbyPuffling · 16/11/2025 18:36

RampantIvy · 16/11/2025 18:29

A school that finishes at 5:30pm? I am guessing that she is in a private school?

School from 9 until 5.30, then homework on top of that? That's ridiculous.

DD teaches at an indy school from 8.30 to 6pm. They have many more breaks, and a decent lunch hour. More weeks of holiday too.

NeverHaveIEvery · 16/11/2025 18:39

My ds did online chess as his skill. The app he used gave him enough data about his hours and improved skill level for the school dofe supervisor to sign it off.
Then for volunteering he picked litter locally and this was signed off by a local councillor. For gold he did gardening for an elderly relative and she signed it off.
I think you are making it harder than it needs to be.

twinmum2007 · 16/11/2025 18:42

The local rugby club might want some help coaching the younger ages groups. That's what my daughter did.

Vitriolinsanity · 16/11/2025 18:44

My DS volunteered at the library on a Saturday for his bronze, and the old folk home at Christmas for his silver.

I think you are missing the point that it’s supposed to be hard and place the kids outside their comfort zone.

Moontwigdotcom · 16/11/2025 18:46

So she need to do volunteering locally and at the weekend. So look what activities go on in your local area? - check the internet and the local parish magazine…

younger kids weekend sports/music ensembles/coffee mornings/gardening clubs/craft groups/allotments/animal rescues/gardening for church yard or local nursing home, litter picking the cricket pitch or leisure centre car park etc.

You may need to go with her for some of these , but as long as you can find someone to represent a group or organisation to sign her off it should be fine.

my eldest did set up/breakdown for a church service in the local school hall on a Sunday.

Vitriolinsanity · 16/11/2025 18:47

RampantIvy · 16/11/2025 18:29

A school that finishes at 5:30pm? I am guessing that she is in a private school?

School from 9 until 5.30, then homework on top of that? That's ridiculous.

No, it’s quite normal at PS for the day to start at 8:30 and end after 4:30, then homework which is how they get longer holidays.

Mummamap · 16/11/2025 18:47

Could she volunteer at a care home? My daughter went in and played cards and board games with the elderly people. Get the guitar teacher to sign off with appropriate dates.
my daughter has actually done ballet and cooked for our neighbours once a week for 18 months. Sometimes it is a whole meal other times it is cakes or bread.

JustOnePersonNotAnOctopus · 16/11/2025 18:48

I think the school are making this frustrating. I regularly have piano students say “can you sign off my DofE” and we sit down and decide what skills they are going to focus on for the period.

Also, if your daughter wants to do it and volunteering at Brownies is the only feasible thing she needs to build a bridge and get over her issues. The whole point of the programme is that you grow, learn, and give back.

Soppydawg · 16/11/2025 18:49

Hi Frenchcremefraiche
it’s a shame your daughter’s having trouble sorting this, surely if it’s supported by the school they should be able to advise?
my son completed the bronze by doing the things you’ve talked about- piano in school lunch break with a tutor which he was doing before , charity shop on a sat and I’m sure he was 15, the schools do the awards before GCSE’s at 16 so they don’t get in the way👍 And I think he was doing ty-kwon-do. Good luck 🤞

Wellwhoknewthat · 16/11/2025 18:49

Try your local community pantry, we have two DofE students at the moment each doing 2 hours on alternate Saturdays

Wellwhoknewthat · 16/11/2025 18:50

Try your local community pantry, we have two DofE students at the moment each doing 2 hours on alternate Saturdays

RampantIvy · 16/11/2025 18:50

ChubbyPuffling · 16/11/2025 18:36

DD teaches at an indy school from 8.30 to 6pm. They have many more breaks, and a decent lunch hour. More weeks of holiday too.

That still makes for a very long day.

Pixie2015 · 16/11/2025 18:51

Volunteered at school fayres over the year making and selling sweet bags / cakes - pottery / craft goods for skill - physical doing park runs also volunteering there.

brunettemic · 16/11/2025 18:51

Why is she doing it if it’s all such a big hassle that she doesn’t want the make any effort to complete?

notacooldad · 16/11/2025 18:53

TBH my daughter's skill was making the occasional cake and taking a photo of it and then one of her friend's mum's filled that section in saying she did a great job and I did the same for her friend...

She did everything else by the book, I'm just saying you can be a little bendy with the rules if needed 😬

How did she drag the occasional cake making out for a minimum of 3 months, assuming it was for the bronze level.
Being 'bendy' just makes a mockery of her award and is therefore pointless, she hasnt achieved her D of E qualification requirements.
Saying she did everything else by the book doesn't validate cheating on a whole section of the award.