To be frustrated by DofE requirements

[Frenchcremefraiche]

My daughter has just turned 15 and is trying to complete (well, START tbh!) her Bronze DofE.

On paper it's fine: learn something and do some volunteering.

In reality it's really, really hard! All suggestions appreciated!

There are so many exclusions to the skill requirement. She doesnt get home from school until 6 which limits evenings. Not that there are many lessons/groups after school anyway. Then there are so few activities that count as a skill on the weekend. Anything vaguely "sporty" doesnt count as a skill even if it's something she's never done before and is going to classes to learn it (eg ice skating). She's been doing online guitar lessons but because she started those before DofE, they dont count. There is a minimum hours requirement and Ive found a few in person classes but they arent long enough. It needs to be something in person because it needs to be signed off so teaching herself or doing something at home wont count.

Then volunteering, because of her age, very few places can help. Any informal groups that are willing to take her want a parent present because they cant take responsibility for her / arent DBS checked etc which I get but obviously she doesnt want me hanging about. It has to be a regular thing so she cant organise eg an afternoon litter pick. Plus she needs someone to sign it off anyway. She looked at helping at a local beaver/scout group but one said no and the other has her ex boyfriend helping so she said no. In her naive 15year old way she wont help at brownies because they are "sexist".

Any suggestions on what she can do? She's on the verge of having to quit because she cant meet the requirements.

I sort of think the point of DofE is the demonstrate the skills and motivation to make your own plans of how to complete the activities.

I'd be putting the ball back in her court. If she doesn't want to do Brownies, she needs to make a different plan. Dc all over the country do DofE so it clearly isn't impossible.

Can she offer to help with younger dc at a school club? Contact her primary school and offer help? My dd volunteered at the junior club of the youth club she attended.

I think the school are being overly strict. I got told by a person from D of E who was giving the presentation in school that the parents of other children doing D of E were a good option for someone to sign it off.

I also agree with previous posters that she should be able to use the guitar. They were actively encouraged to use things they already did

It will be hard if you stay so negative. Many schools offer the chance to help in the library one lunchtime a week. Can she help with younger ones at a club/lesson she already does?Park run, local scouts group, public library, park run etc?

For the skill my DD did online cookery for bronze and netball for silver.

To be quite honest if she doesn’t have the resilience to come up with solutions then maybe DofE isn’t for her and that’s ok, it’s not for everyone

We did this for my daughter, only we asked her next door neighbour to be her 'assessor', I then did it in return for her daughter. As long as the activity covers the minimun time and is during the period during which they are doing the award, and someone signs it off (it can be pretty uch anyone who is not family) then it's all good.

In terms of volunteering, I took my daughter and her friends out for an hour or two every Saturday morning for 13 weeks (they did this as their 3 months, and their physical activity was their 6 month activity) and we borrowed litter picking equipment from the local council and went around local spots collecting litter. I took photos of each occasion and showed them to the council employee who then signed their books for them. But you could ask a teacher to sign off your daughter's if you don't have a council contact, and even buy your own litter picking equipment as I doubt they are that expensive.

I really think you're ruling things out that you needn't rule out. You definitely can use activities that you were already doing. If she is continuing with the guitar, can she ask a music teacher at school to sign it off for her - she can show her evidence that she is doing the lessons - it defnitely doesn't need to be in person either. Also, for sign-off, my daughter used St John Ambulance cadets as her volunteering and we needed the Youth Leader to sign it off in a hurry so she texted soemthing to us which we submitted on the online portal, so she didn't physically sign her book.

Good luck to your daughter @Frenchcremefraiche I really think she can do bronze DofE without interupting her schedule too much or compromising her views. Also, given how busy she is I do think it is the type of thing she would get a lot out of, so with a bit of creative thinking about how to sign off acitvities it shouldn't be a problem.

What did students in the year above do? Presumably they would have been subject to the same restrictions as your DD?

I'm assuming the 5.30pm finish is due to extra curricular activities after school in which case, she should be able to go to one to cover off her skill and help at a younger child's one for her volunteering. Or offer to help at any children's activity club after school.

She could do this - my DC did it and had it signed off by DoE

Smart Raspberry Cooking course

I agree that you can do something you’re already doing - check with the main DoE rather than the DoE centre.

Also get your DD to ask what others in her class / school are doing for ideas.

(sorry if already suggested, have read all the replies)

For mine many moons ago. I did swimming as my sport and the lifeguard signed each time me and friend went. I did a craft club at school and the teacher signed it off and i volunteered in a care home on a weekend as a helper i guess we just chatted to the old people for an hour or so and played games etc with them

Apologies if this has been covered.
I've only read OP's posts.

Skills: my son is doing violin which he has been learning for many years. Our classes are with an online tutor who is happy to sign off as supervisor for D of E. I thought you could backdate but for like a month.
My other son previously was allowed to count chess club at school as his skill.

Volunteering: in case timing wise it helps, my son"s Volunteer shifts were at least 2 hours and he was allowed to do a shift every 2 weeks to balance out the one hour a week requirement.
Also, would it count if your daughter volunteered for example to help younger kids at the school with their maths or something?

Whoever is the D of E assessor is being difficult.

By my DC have completed D of E, DS completed gold and a trip to Buckingham Palace.

Ideas from them and their friends:

Activity - the sport the already do is fine. It's about commitment. Friends used to walk/run and use a Google maps as evidence and the PE teacher signed it off.

Skills - my two did cooking. They picked a meal, I bought ingredients and they prepared and cooked one a week, the picking, prep and cooking added to an hour. They took photos all the way through. BIL is a chef and was allowed to sign off as it's his 'trade'.
Other friends learnt a language, one looked after their pets

Volunteering - volunteer at an activity they already go but with a different group, so if she's an Explorer volunteer at that but at a different session. Walk a neighbours dog, on a regular basis, find any sort of social club and go and make teas, there will be lots in the community.

It doesn't have to be 60min block, it's average of 60 mins over the week. Look at the D of E website. My DD has been ill so struggled with the sports, she used to swim 2 hours 3 times a week. For D of E she did 20 mins 3 times a week.

D of E is so inclusive but needs their commitment. She needs to speak to the organisers and work out how she can make it work.

Also it doesn't all have to be done right now at once. Do the bits she can do and maybe she'll find volunteering in the Spring.

I work for a library service and we run a volunteering programme which is heavily geared to supporting youngsters doing DofE so try your local library

I sort of think the point of DofE is the demonstrate the skills and motivation to make your own plans of how to complete the activities.

This. I run a small charity, we have a dozen DoErs with us at any one time. There is a particular kind which I have now learnt to fend off - mum makes initial contact, mum books in all the volunteering sessions, teen turns up gormless/embarrassed/lacking the slightest hint of interest in what we do, mum writes to say that Mary can’t come in this week, mum writes to say that Mary has done her hours now so can I sign the form please? And Mary gets her DoE despite having learnt fuck all.

At this point (five years and c100 candidates in) if the initial contact is from a parent where the child has no additional needs/communication difficulties, it’s a no.

One of the deliverables (IMO) of DofE is putting a young person out of their comfort zone, as that is life. We sometimes have to do things that we would rather chose not too.

The minimum requirement for Bronze volunteering is 12 x 1hr sessions.

It would be a shame for her to miss out on the expeditions and other fun learning opportunities of DofE because she would not allow herself to help young girls at Rainbows or Brownies. If she volunteered there it may help her to understand their reasons more for keeping them for girls only.

My kids did a variety of volunteering - they helped at a church youth club, at football and crickets clubs, litter picked, and through lockdown did on-line maths tutoring for primary school children and cleared the local church graveyard.
We are not religious either but they all learnt something different out of each placement.

If DD really wants to do this I very much hope she will find a way. But FWIW, as a former admissions tutor in a very competitive School, I can tell her that the only DoE qualification with any conceivable impact on a university application is the Gold award.

Best wishes to her

How can she view brownies as sexist…yet wants to do the ‘duke’ of Edinburgh?

My son completed the Duke of Edinburgh Bronze Award years ago. His volunteering consisted of cooking for his grandad every week, and since they have different surnames, this wasn’t an issue. For the new skills section, he ran training sessions for a sport he was already playing each week. It all felt very tenuous, and he disliked most of it. The school heavily hyped the scheme, leading students to believe it was an important addition to their CVs and would be viewed favorably by universities. In reality, it made little difference, and none of his peer group seemed to gain much from it. In contrast, having a part-time job or other real-world responsibilities tends to reveal more about a young person’s initiative, work ethic, and reliability.

I help organise an annual community event and we’re always short of volunteers, especially younger ones. Is there anything similar locally that she could get involved with to help out? The organising for these events goes on throughout the year.

I’m also curious as to why she’s so anti-Brownies. Is it just because boys cannot join?

Dd did an online sign language course as skill, she got certificate at the end which they took as evidence.
Guitar also counted even if started previously as long as you progressed, the tutor signed that.
Any animal charities that might want people?
Charity shop ls were popular with friends volunteering

I’d have a serious conversation with her on why she wants to do it.

You seem to be saying she can’t do anything because: she already does it, charity shops won’t take her, her ex-boyfriend helps at the only beavers/cub group she’d do, the others are rubbish (just like the care homes), she finishes school too late, brownies or rainbows are sexist...etc etc.

If it’s because her friends are doing the expedition and she wants to, then just pay your money and let her do that. She’ll never finish bronze, but so what.

I can only see it as a money making thing anyway. My middle son did bronze and got the award, did silver and then did the Gold expedition. For silver, he had volunteered at the school (the same one that ran the DofE), the teacher never signed off his volunteer work. Didn’t stop them from taking our money for Gold though. What a bloody waste of time. So on paper, it looks like he only completed the Bronze. Despite paying hundreds for the pleasure.

Ask you daughter why she wants to do it.

When I was a mum of small kids, a teen came and helped me with them as her volunteering (for IB, but i imagine it would qork for DofE). She came once a week after school, but it could easily be done on a weekend. It meant we could go on trips, or just have someone else read with them. I will never forget what a huge impact it had on our whole family for the year she came round. I can't see any family friends turning down that offer.

Dd helped run the social media of a local inclusive sports club.

It’s not compulsory if she doesn’t fancy anything then don’t do it.
Was going to suggest Girlguiding as we have Young leaders that do D of E but see she’s vetoed that.
Lots do D of E through girlguiding locally as it’s volunteer run and much cheaper than school.

My DD's school set up a gardening team. She volunteered on lunchtimes and they looked after the seasonal planters and flower beds around the school, swept up leaves, weeded paved areas etc. She enjoyed it.

As far as I am aware, the online guitar lessons should count, whenever they started. I have signed the skills section many times for DofE students as a piano and violin teacher, no matter how long they have been playing. The prerequisite is that they have been practising their instrument consistently for six months, which is not the same thing at all unless the rules have suddenly changed.

I’d suggest she looks at girlguiding attitudes survey. D of E is supposed to push them outside comfort zone not just physically. It’s shocking how from such a young age girls report they modify behaviour if boys present and how a girls only space may give some girls opportunities to participate in activities that would not be permitted for cultural reasons.

DS is autistic and I really wanted him to do the Bronze, because I thought it was a good introduction to volunteer work, and to get him thinking about how there are so many groups/ events which only happen because some people give their time to do them.

Thankfully I have a network of people whom DH and I used to volunteer with in various groups, I rarely see some of them anymore but they exist on my FB. I asked there and one said her scout group (something DS never got on with as a smaller child) regularly has volunteers for DofE in and would he like to join? Thankfully he did, and he's still doing it now a couple of years later.

Scouts/ brownies etc are ideal for that age because you're right, when they're 15 they're too young for many things.

I don't mean this unkindly but while I can see you're irritated with the DofE's 'requirements', it is meant to be something you're making some kind of effort to do. From all the suggestions here, I can see she's got a lot of reasons why she doesn't want/ can't do certain volunteer roles. She might need to consider Brownies given her age and the fact that she's already tried the libraries/ charity shops etc. She does have an option there and it's unfair to blame the DofE for her rejecting it, imo.

Anyway, in addition: the 'skill' element is quite vague and very easy, honestly, don't overthink it. DS takes a musical instrument which he does once a week after school. The teacher signed off on that as his skill. However, you can quite literally do any skill, cooking, whatever, and get someone to sign off on it. You could do something similar to what we did for DS's activity:

He played a LOT of Pokemon Go, still sort of does, and we do a lot of walking as a family because of that and well, just because we like walking. You can use Strava or just rely on a family friend willing to vouch for you that they witnessed him doing that. Yes it sounds a bit silly for it to be 'walking', but I saw 'geocaching' as an option on there so I knew it would be fine.

I overthought and worried about it a LOT until I learned, probably from MN, how many people were literally out there lying for their kids to get DofE gold. I was obviously not going to lie for DS, but it helped me realise there's a lot of flexibility out there.

This carries over to the volunteering a bit: many (most?) people would be happy to sign off on a chunk of volunteer work at a time, if she truly can't find something that is exactly an hour a week. If she does 3 hours for someone doing whatever, see if that person will sign it off as 1hr/ week for 3 weeks. Just as an example. I know someone whose DS did this for their school's PTA; he basically volunteered to work at most of their events/ did some kind of graphic design work/ plus some other thing. He actually did way more volunteering than the 1hr/ week in the end.