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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask you to find a career for my DH

37 replies

MerryGoRound9 · 15/11/2025 21:47

He is 45.
He doesn't want to do his current job anymore, for reasons I support.
He wants instead to turn to a vocational type job. A job he finds rewarding on a personal level and stimulating.
Previously a high earner, he's willing to drop in salary for a job that brings a greater sense of good.
No GCSE qualifications. No A levels. No degree.
He has several NVQ qualifications but they are in the area he no longer wants to work in.
He is an intelligent person. His absence of academic qualifications are not a reflection of his intelligence or his ability to learn.
He is hard working, with a great personality, depth of character, a strong moral compass but he is lost in terms of how to spend the rest of his working life.
He is fully willing to re-train.
What can he do?

OP posts:
Simplestars · 15/11/2025 21:50

What about do a course at adult learning.
Plumbing, carpentry gardening etc
Learn trade skills.

Then he could become self employed and do these jobs.

JudgeBread · 15/11/2025 21:51

What salary range are you looking at?

Simplestars · 15/11/2025 21:54

Also what did he do before?

Could consider Paramedic ambulance driver (ECA route).

Swiftie1878 · 15/11/2025 21:55

Options will be very limited without maths and English GCSEs 🥴

Terrytheweasel · 15/11/2025 21:56

What was he doing previously?

Mandarinaduck · 15/11/2025 21:56

Well, what kind of job does he want and why does he want to leave the one he's in?
Does he want to work with people? Which kind?
Does he want to do practical work?
Indoor or outdoor?
Creative?
Technical?
There are a million things he could do, it's really hard to say without knowing his interests, values and natural abilities.

XenoBitch · 15/11/2025 21:58

No one can say. What sort of things is he interested in?
A lack of qualifications wont hold him back if he wants to go into something like nursing. You can do an Access course for that. He could go into Adult nursing, kid's nursing, mental health, occupational health etc.

JudgeBread · 15/11/2025 22:00

I work in control for the fire service. No qualifications needed just a level head, good typing and listening abilities and a certain level of resilience. It's an incredibly rewarding job with a great work life balance and decent pay. And you know you're doing good and benefiting your community every single day.

MerryGoRound9 · 15/11/2025 22:07

JudgeBread · 15/11/2025 22:00

I work in control for the fire service. No qualifications needed just a level head, good typing and listening abilities and a certain level of resilience. It's an incredibly rewarding job with a great work life balance and decent pay. And you know you're doing good and benefiting your community every single day.

This strikes a massive chord in him.
But isn't it unbelievably difficult to get in to? I read on a thread on her it's 5,000 applicants for every 100 application spaces! I've heard the hoops to jump through are really difficult - is that true?

OP posts:
MerryGoRound9 · 15/11/2025 22:08

XenoBitch · 15/11/2025 21:58

No one can say. What sort of things is he interested in?
A lack of qualifications wont hold him back if he wants to go into something like nursing. You can do an Access course for that. He could go into Adult nursing, kid's nursing, mental health, occupational health etc.

Nursing requires a degree

OP posts:
Holluschickie · 15/11/2025 22:09

What is he doing now? Surely that's crucial.

PictureParfait · 15/11/2025 22:11

He could be a carer.

That's about it really, with no qualifications, at his age. My relations' lives were very much improved by having good carers in their care homes.

Whatifitallgoesright · 15/11/2025 22:12

Is he a people person or a thing person?

Twoshoesnewshoes · 15/11/2025 22:14

I work on an inpatient psychiatric ward.
he can start as an hca with some specific training, then he may get accepted on to a nurse apprenticeship through the trust.
or - I always need someone to put up shelves, build log store etc, and these skills can be done at a local college.

TroubledBloodyMary · 15/11/2025 22:17

Perhaps you might direct your husband to MN’s dedicated Mature Study and Retraining board, @MerryGoRound9? There are sure to be helpful pointers, ideas, and guidance amongst the countless threads there:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/mature_students

Mature students: Distance learning, retraining and mentorship | Mumsnet

Welcome to Mumsnet’s mature student forum. Discuss everything from starting adult courses to retraining and distance learning or even seek out a personal mentor.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/mature_students

Cadenza12 · 15/11/2025 22:17

He could start off by writing down a list of his skills, especially the transferable ones. What is he good at? A list of things he would like to do, what's important to him? What doesn't he want to do? How flexible is he with regard to location? Salary etc. Then he could get a clearer idea of the type of work that might be a good fit and target his research in that area.

JudgeBread · 15/11/2025 22:17

MerryGoRound9 · 15/11/2025 22:07

This strikes a massive chord in him.
But isn't it unbelievably difficult to get in to? I read on a thread on her it's 5,000 applicants for every 100 application spaces! I've heard the hoops to jump through are really difficult - is that true?

It is competitive but I didn't have to jump through any hoops, just had to really smash the interview. Just one interview, no hoops!

It's a STAR style interview which are easy to nail if you know what you're doing and know what they're looking for (and actually have the stuff to a certain extent!), and most fire services recruit 2-3 times a year because the turnover is high - this is either the perfect job for you or it's not for you at all and a lot of the time you don't find out which camp you fall into until you get into the control room.

It really is the best job I've ever had and I've been all over the place in all sorts of roles in all sorts of sectors. There just aren't words for how rewarding it is, and the work life balance really is amazing.

MerryGoRound9 · 15/11/2025 22:19

Mandarinaduck · 15/11/2025 21:56

Well, what kind of job does he want and why does he want to leave the one he's in?
Does he want to work with people? Which kind?
Does he want to do practical work?
Indoor or outdoor?
Creative?
Technical?
There are a million things he could do, it's really hard to say without knowing his interests, values and natural abilities.

Well, what kind of job does he want
A job that has meaning and purpose. A job that leaves him feeling he has done some good. A job that benefits others. A job that feels rewarding on a personal level.
why does he want to leave the one he's in?
Because he no longer wants to do a job that earns his income but other than that has no value to it.
Does he want to work with people?
Yes
Which kind?
Any kind!
Does he want to do practical work?
Doesn't really matter. More important is that it's altruistic. He is certainly very capable of doing practical work as he is physically very fit. But he wouldn't say no if it wasn't practical either. The mental stimulation and the feeling of doing something good, important, that contributes to society is most important to him.
Indoor or outdoor?
Doesn't matter.
Creative?
Technical?
Open to anything.

OP posts:
JollyLilacBee · 15/11/2025 22:19

Could you give us an idea of what he does now? So that we can consider transferable skills? And also, the minimum salary he could accept?

cestlavielife · 15/11/2025 22:22

He needs to narrow it down.
Look around what looks good? Then what route to get there eg access course
What does he do now and why does he not like it?

MerryGoRound9 · 15/11/2025 22:23

Whatifitallgoesright · 15/11/2025 22:12

Is he a people person or a thing person?

Wants to do a job that requires someone who is a people person.
He is a people person.
Currently has a solitary job that earns money but doesn't use his natural people skills.

OP posts:
albalass · 15/11/2025 22:25

Driving instructor? My friend retrained as this last year and finds it very rewarding.

As a pp suggested, some health careers such as nursing have access routes for people without the usual qualifications.

Volunteering is a good way to make contacts and try out different types of work.

PInkyStarfish · 15/11/2025 22:26

Personal trainer? Getting fat people fit and healthy is contributing to society and helps him stay fit.

MerryGoRound9 · 15/11/2025 22:32

JollyLilacBee · 15/11/2025 22:19

Could you give us an idea of what he does now? So that we can consider transferable skills? And also, the minimum salary he could accept?

Minimum starting salary £30,000 with potential to increase from that.
Don't want to say specifically what he does now but it's a technical and practical role, skilled, lone working, self employed.
The job he does requires good time management, good self organisation skills, good interpersonal skills, the ability to do a job to a high standard to ensure good recommendations to future customers, good practical skills, good problem solving skills, good business skills.
Doesn't enjoy working alone and no longer enjoys doing a job that doesn't benefit others or society.
He is a really hard worker and tries his best at everything.

OP posts:
SP2024 · 15/11/2025 22:37

What about something local government like? Housing has plenty of jobs you don’t need qualifications for at entry level.