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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask you to find a career for my DH

37 replies

MerryGoRound9 · 15/11/2025 21:47

He is 45.
He doesn't want to do his current job anymore, for reasons I support.
He wants instead to turn to a vocational type job. A job he finds rewarding on a personal level and stimulating.
Previously a high earner, he's willing to drop in salary for a job that brings a greater sense of good.
No GCSE qualifications. No A levels. No degree.
He has several NVQ qualifications but they are in the area he no longer wants to work in.
He is an intelligent person. His absence of academic qualifications are not a reflection of his intelligence or his ability to learn.
He is hard working, with a great personality, depth of character, a strong moral compass but he is lost in terms of how to spend the rest of his working life.
He is fully willing to re-train.
What can he do?

OP posts:
Whatifitallgoesright · 15/11/2025 23:04

MerryGoRound9 · 15/11/2025 22:23

Wants to do a job that requires someone who is a people person.
He is a people person.
Currently has a solitary job that earns money but doesn't use his natural people skills.

Sales? How flexible is his moral compass?
Is he self-employed? How is his health?

RainbowBagels · 15/11/2025 23:13

MerryGoRound9 · 15/11/2025 22:07

This strikes a massive chord in him.
But isn't it unbelievably difficult to get in to? I read on a thread on her it's 5,000 applicants for every 100 application spaces! I've heard the hoops to jump through are really difficult - is that true?

How about general emergency call handling? Or what about Working in care? There are Personal Assistant roles for adults with learning needs helping them to live independently as well as the obvious working in elder care. Has he also looked into functional skills English and Maths?

MrsTerryPratchett · 15/11/2025 23:22

SP2024 · 15/11/2025 22:37

What about something local government like? Housing has plenty of jobs you don’t need qualifications for at entry level.

I hire entry level positions in housing.

My last hires were young, pretty qualified, very enthusiastic, with huge room for growth in the field.

I’m not sure I would have selected an older man with no experience or specific passion in the field who just wanted to do something good. Not to say that isn’t noble, it is. But NGOs and government social programming is plagued by well-meaning amateurs thinking being clever and wanting to know things substitutes for experience and knowledge. There is often a feeling that social services types of jobs look easy. If you’re just nice and kind. They aren’t.

CatsAreCool222 · 15/11/2025 23:26

Postman

RedRec · 15/11/2025 23:32

What about funeral service staff (driving / pallbearing, etc.) or funeral celebrant? Training courses available (optional but recommended) for celebrancy.

Edited for typo.

coxesorangepippin · 15/11/2025 23:44

Ok op, we get that you don't want to say what he does now, but to give any kind of suggestions it'd be a lot easier if you just say what he does.

Talk about a bloody drop feed

bluesunnyskies · 15/11/2025 23:57

-Health and safety officer
-Start a lawn mowing/general maintenance business or work for a franchise
-Fast food shop manager
-Rigger
-Public servant
-Call centre operator with plans to move into management over the next few years
-Pathology collector

ReignOfError · 16/11/2025 00:19

The civil service (and its many and varied quangos) recruit on competencies, and there are a surprising range of people-facing roles. Lousy - average pay really, great pension and perks, loads of interesting opportunities to progress.

IntrinsicWorth · 16/11/2025 00:27

I am guessing he does something trade-related like gas fitter, builder, mechanic. If he does t want to carry on in that field as a sole trader he could get a salaried job doing whatever he does, for a charity. For example our local mental health charity is always looking for estates people.

The problem is going to be the salary. £30k with progression is not that well aligned to socially rewarding roles. Unfortunately. He might be better off knocking down his hours in his current role and spending some time Volunteering in something more worthwhile. Plus also volunteering can sometimes open unexpected doors to interesting paid work.

finally … is he really sure he doesn’t want to continue in his well-paid, autonomous job?? The job market is not good at the moment and there are many people chasing desk jobs.

Bigbus · 16/11/2025 00:39

Has he thought of a probation officer or prison officer. An amazing opportunity to make a real difference x

madaboutpurple · 16/11/2025 00:51

In many places there are shortages of bus drivers and recently saw an advert for train drivers to be trained. I saw someone had thought of driving instructor,well lots of people will be needing a driving instructor.

SpigTheFish · 16/11/2025 13:19

Impossible to say without knowing more about him/his background.

Plumber? He could become a handyman or driver.

Financial services consultant? He could become a fund raiser for a charity.

edit for typo.

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