Should we investigate adhd assessment or anti depressants for my ds19

[Anonymous07200408]

Some advice please from those with kids who have a spiky ND profile. What I really don’t need is the usual suspects who don’t really believe in ND weighing in with scathing remarks - there are a lot on here and I don’t need that kind of wisdom please - this is very difficult for us as a family and sensitive. I am very experienced with ND and work in the field - I know my son is ND but just need some help teasing our depression vs autistic burnout vs ADHD procrastination etc. I am posting to AIBU for traffic even if the ASN boards would probably be a more natural home for this.

my 19yr old ds got a dyspraxia diagnosis in year 3 and ever since then has had various educational and social challenges. Looking back at his report from then there seem to be loads of indications of inattentive type adhd. He had a small, tight group of friends but is very socially anxious and incredibly passive. Identified as very bright from early on - effortlessly managed straight As until his final year where he pretty much took to the sofa/buried his head in the sand and crashed out in exams. Luckily he had an unconditional offer to uni and is now nearly at the end of his first semester.

He has needed an unbelievable amount of scaffolding in every way - socially and academically and in terms of life skills. Luckily he is local so I have been in and out helping him most weeks. He literally seems unable to answer text messages/ engage fully with uni support services etc - to the point he is now very far behind academically and talking about repeating the year. He has actually done really well socially and made a small group of friends who are luckily very proactive but he has already pissed them off by not responding to WhatsApp messages. The amount he has struggled has surprised us. He presents as having a low mood and flat affect and without us chivvying him to get to lectures and friends chivvying him to go out I think he would spend most of his time doom scrolling. He reports as being “ok” and I think he’s enjoying some of the social stuff but his self esteem is on the floor and always has been.

We have now started thinking that we need to do more to help - the situation is untenable. My question is, should we be investigating a private assessment for adhd (i am very sure he has asd but can’t afford an auDHD assessment)? His procrastination, inability to start tasks, dreaming, torpor, binge eating, insane avoidance all fit with my understanding of inattentive type adhd (my other son is medicated for combined type adhd so I know a little about it).

Or should we be investigating ssris for his mood? I obviously have reservations about side effects (particularly blunting of emotions - they couldn’t be any more blunt tbh) and am not sure if he is actually depressed - he doesn’t really think he is but knows something is wrong.

thank you so much if you’ve got this far - so aibu to get him an adhd assessment with the idea of trialling meds

or ainbu if you think I should look into antidepressants?

any wisdom gratefully received - he is a gorgeous, hilariously funny, self aware, empathetic boy who is suffering at the moment 🙏🏼

Of course! My other son has assessed by them in 2022 and has been brilliantly supported through titration and beyond. They have a lot of practitioners working on assessments. It’s not a guaranteed diagnosis of course.

That good to hear. I know not all assessment in England are equal.

Also want to point out that the OP has said she is in Scotland. NICE guidelines are not a thing here. NHS Scotland is completely separate and you can never assume that just because something is policy in England/Wales/N Ireland that it applies in Scotland, and vice versa.

ive sent you a message.

Quick update for those who kindly commented on my thread. My ds got an inattentive type adhd diagnosis today. We are going to start stimulant meds in the next week or so and then if low mood doesn’t lift we will go to the gp and enquire about ssris. Thanks again everyone!

That seems incredibly quick! How on earth did you get from your OP to assessment and diagnosis in this time?

I hope it is a reputable company and a thorough assessment as surely the information gathering alone would have taken longer.

Thanks for the concern 🙄. I have explained earlier in the thread that we are in Scotland and the company is very reputable - they diagnosed my other ds nearly 4 yrs ago and have been excellent. They have a lot of clinicians available to assess and the evidence gathering was expedited but as he is an adult they did not need any from a teacher just someone who knows him well.

it is absolutely the right diagnosis for him - he ticks every box so it was no great surprise. might have been nice to have shown a little empathy and recognise the relief of him knowing who he is rather than suggesting it’s a dodgy diagnosis.

I was showing concern. I’m sorry if you don’t feel I was but that’s on you I’m afraid. Knowing the process as well as I do I was very surprised you managed to get it done that quickly.

I didn’t doubt the diagnosis or whether it was the right one for him, I simply queried how quickly it was done.

Also, I already posted giving advice early in the thread so I think your reaction was shitty and rude.

It’s great that you’ve got a plan.

My dd was done in 9 days. If you avoid the big chains and find an independent one they can turn it round much faster.

Apologies. I am feeling sensitive as I have family members gaslighting me about his symptoms. Thank you for offering advice earlier.