To have a boyfriend stay at weekends - DS age 17

[Ceci693]

So it looks like I might have a “boyfriend” - seems a bit of a weird name at my age lol/ but he lives 3 hours away and thinking ahead - is it unfair to my DS who is 17 and lives at home with me - he’s in school- to have this man stay over at weekends. I’ve never brought a man back to the house before - have always managed with hotels or his place. DS says he doesn’t mind but I don’t want to upset his routine etc or make him feel pushed out in any way. Maybe I should stick to my rule of not bringing a man home. Wwyd?

Stick to the rule

Ok

What's the long term plan with someone who lives 3 hours away?

Yeh. Thats my thinking as well tbh. Only thing that rankles a little is that dd has had her boyfriend stay many times 🤣and I have faced this exact thing - coming out of bathroom and meeting him !!!

Well would you just not bother . Am happy with seeing him once a week or fortnight for now 🤣

I have a long distance 'boyfriend' and I am 63. He first started coming to stay when my children were 18 and 16. They were nothing but happy for me. Their father, my ex husband, had moved on with someone else and I think they were glad for me to have someone too. I was far from lonely beforehand but I think they were worried that I might be.
Your son sounds lovely. Go for it, OP.

Thanks for the positive story @RedReci guess I’ll see how it goes

I have similar circumstances. I’d say it’s fine for him to stay over but not every weekend.

Yeh definitely not every weekend just the odd one maybe. I’ll see but thanks

I don't take young people's corner, very rarely. However, this is your kid and the situation could be damaging.
No to the "boyfriend".

Luckily your children are old enough to be left alone at home if you decide to spend some weekends at a hotel with your beau …

(And it isn’t really the same thing with your DD and her BF - no one’s depending on them …)

Personally I do not see the problem with it as long as your son is fine with it.

Might be nice for him to have another man around the place actually

How long have you been together?

I have children around this age and they have girlfriends to stay sometimes. Not sure why it shouldn’t work both ways if everyone’s happy. If your son is saying he’s ok with it then I’d definitely give it a try one weekend and see if he does cope with it. It sounds like you’re being super sensitive to your son’s needs and that you’d pick up if he wasn’t happy.

Does your DS know him at all? How long have you been together? It’s your house and your DS is almost an adult so sounds reasonable but possibly could be awkward if they haven’t ever really interacted previously so might be worth building up to it. Although if you’re not really aiming for a more involved relationship and it will only be every week or two for the foreseeable probably easier to stick to his or hotels than try and blend anything.

I think its fine. Its not a one night stand, if its someone you are thinking about a future with, your son will be an adult in a year and I am sure you will both be respectful.
It might be good they meet generally before he wakes up to a man wandering about though.

And what about her daughter having a man in the house?

Keep him out of your home.

They should meet prior to him staying eg have dinner all together before you and the boyfriend sleep elsewhere, but there's nothing inherently wrong with you having a partner stay over, just as long as your ds is ok with it, you're not shagging loudly and you're not suggesting a different man every week.

Calm down OP. Slow down!

you only joined bumble 5 weeks ago
and only a week or so ago you were deciding whether or not to meet up with a dodgy sounding bloke!

^^ this. Op stop make bad decisions. You dont even know the bloke.

Oh! …

Ah that puts an entirely different slant on it.