To think it’s okay to prioritise travel over settling down?

[RootlessButReady]

I’m in my 30s and honestly, I just want to see the world. I’m not in a rush to buy property, have kids or “settle down” in the traditional sense, and I feel like people find that threatening or flaky.

Whenever I say I’d rather spend my money on travel than save for a mortgage right now, I get the same looks or the same comments: “You can’t live like that forever.” “Don’t you want stability?” “But what about your future?”

I get it, security matters. But the world is huge and beautiful and fleeting. Why are we expected to postpone exploration until we’re retired or burnt out? What if seeing more of life is part of building a meaningful future?

AIBU to think that choosing travel, freedom and adventure now isn’t automatically immature or irresponsible, it’s just a different priority?

I think it's absolutely fine, as long as you aren't still living with parents and you accept that there is also a time limit on having children, if you want them.

Yup. I did the working holiday visas/travel stuff throughout my 20s - for almost 4 years after my first degree. I probably would have done it longer, if I hadn't met my ex (because it's always a boy.... 🙄)
However, this was 20 years ago, and I was able to save for a deposit in about 3 years of starting work when I returned home. Times are different, and if you are aware it will take you longer to do this - if that's what you want, of course - then go ahead. I wouldn't have changed my experience for the world. I became disabled in my 40s, and wouldn't have been able to do what I did then, now. So, my vote is to go for it!

Some people really struggle with the notion that not everyone is the same as them, and there's nothing more irritating/patronising than someone who is completely convinced that they somehow know better than you do what's best for you.

It isn't irresponsible unless you're relying on (or planning to rely on in the future) other people to support you or house you. If you can afford to travel and are able to pay rent when you're not travelling, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that and it's a completely valid priority.

I know that these sort of posts mean well but it's consistently depressing to see the idea of trying to have kids in your late 30s and early 40s put down to 'bad planning' or 'poor decisions.' I doubt I'm on the only one who can't meet the right partner despite trying and really wanting kids.

I did both really, worked abroad, which I highly recommend for gett8ng a better insight into countries. And then came home bough a house but still did extensive travelling using adding money onto my mortgage. But that was 25 years ago when, frankly it was easier to buy a house. I also had a job with a defined benefit pension scheme and some money as my parents died when i was young….so I can retire when I’m 60 …and can travel again. Also no kids.

im not sure its as easy now and I would worry about renting after retirement. I’m watching my stepson’s relationship with interest, she’s a traveler and has persuaded him to take a career break, and then wants to come back and move out of his mums house and rent. In all of this there’s no sense of how they are going to pay for any of it….

I think as long as you don’t want kids, do what you like, and good on you!

Do you want children? If not then there's no need to settle down.

Do you want a home of your own or are you happy to rent forever? Do you have sufficient pension to cover rental in retirement?

It's so expensive to buy a house, renting forever is going to be a reality for many.

I like the security of knowing that in the future I can sell my house, get somewhere smaller and will have income from the sale.

its also worth considering your career and giving yourself options later in life. I worked my way up in my 20s and 30s so now I can afford travel to far flung destinations (but don't want to go with the kids!)

I did this throughout my 20s and 30s - my reasoning being that we're only here for a brief time so best to make the most if it while fit and healthy. I don't understand the logic of sacrificing your youth to enjoy freedom in your 60s. The result was that I freelanced a lot and didn't get onto the housing ladder until my 40s, while my friends got mortgages as soon as they started their first jobs. But no regrets. The best option, of course, is to have a job that you love and that requires you to travel the world.

You can do what you like as not as it’s not affecting others- eg, paying no rent living at parents house until you’re 40 or something.

if you’re independent, you’ve got your own rented place and you’re happy travelling and are fine with possibly not having kids or a mortgage at any point then I think it’s fine. It’s your life.

Travel - for a while anyway. Do it while you're fit as you don't know what's round the corner and do it so you something worthwhile to look back on.

But have your plan B for home lined up.

There is nothing wrong with it. Every choice has a consequence. With travelling then you get freedom but give up the stability etc. With stability/family/career you give up the freedom and accept the restriction. Need to choose which option is most and least acceptable. I tried stability, became very unhappy, burned it all down and now I have freedom but less stability. It really was the only option for me.

I think its fine to do what you are saying and travel instead of settling down.

However if you do, then dont all of a sudden when you hit 40 start complaining about how you are still renting at this age, more should be done to help first timer buyers, etc etc.

Basically you cant expect to do all the travelling in 20/30's and expect then in your 40's to have the same lifestyle/living situation as someone who "settled down" in that same time frame of life.

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Do both. You really can. No need to buy now or saddle yourself with a mortgage. But don't assume you won't grow old. Or that life for old people will be in any way catered for effectively by the state. You will one day need some warm, safe place in which to live out your final years. And it's harder to achieve that if you don't make provision early on.

Travel loads. Live simply in other countries. But work. Either in the local industries or as a digital nomad. Put whatever money you would spend on rent or mortgage in UK into ISAs. Or save up to buy a small place in good condition in an area where property is affordable, and rent it out for the going rate to locals. Then you have somewhere to live for a while after your travels are over.

DS lives abroad. But his permanent home is UK. He rents out the spare room in his flat while he is working elsewhere but he has the security of his own home to come back to. The rental income covers utilities, service charge and council tax, gives someone a cheap place to live and means his home is occupied. But he has the freedom to explore the world.

A single friend of mine travels loads. She has a good job so she takes all her leave for travel to far flung places, does loads of weekend city and sports breaks and also some extra unpaid leave if she wants to spend more time somewhere. She is also on a brilliant scheme where her work seconds her every year for a month to a charity in the third world where she uses her expertise to train a local team to continue the work once the charity has moved on. She is almost never at home, but she has a home, and a job, pension etc.

Well there's two sides to the coin, isn't there, OP? Travel when you're old/older and possibly 'burnt out', or work into old age, when struggling with health, mobility and age bias, because you have to afford care and housing.

Everyone makes their choices. Everyone has to accept the consequences.

If you're passionate about travel it's one of those things that doesn't go away. But depending what else you want to achieve in your life you'll need to factor this in to the extent of time/money you spend on travel to try and balance things out.

I love travelling but I also knew I wanted a career, a marriage, two kids and a nice house so I had to juggle my resources and expectations. There were some years that no travel happened at all because I was funding myself through law school or saving for a wedding or was crippled with nursery fees or a new mortgage. But the career paid off and I've now got no mortgage, childcare fees all in the past and I've visited 5 other countries (over 4 trips) this year and it's been great!

I could have travelled a fair bit every year but a lot of the other stuff wouldn't have been possible.

A lot of posters are saying "do both". That's great if you have sufficient funds but a lot of us don't particularly now property prices are through the roof. You may need to choose, though your choices are just as valid and right for you as other people's more traditional choices are right for them.

The one thing I regret is not travelling more "on a shoestring" when i was a student with long holidays and no student loan debts in those days. I did Camp America one summer and it was great but my parents were very sour about it and thought i should be working and "saving for a mortgage" ffs! What i mean is don't care too much about what other people think.