To think “I get bored quickly” is one of the worst things a man can say?

[NoveltyFatigue]

It always makes my stomach drop a bit when a man says this. “I get bored easily” or “I get bored quickly”, it sounds harmless at first but the more I hear it, the more I think that’s a warning.

It feels like a quiet threat, like no matter who you are or how well things are going, they’re already planning their exit once the novelty wears off. It’s one thing to enjoy variety or spontaneity but to label people as “boring” once things get familiar? That feels dismissive.

Maybe I’m taking it too personally. Maybe it’s just a harmless personality quirk. But to me, it signals low emotional stamina and a lack of depth. Like if things aren’t constantly stimulating, they check out.

AIBU to feel this is one of the worst things you can hear, especially as a woman dating men?

what If a woman says it?

I think it’s a genuinely helpful thing for any woman to hear before she wastes too much time on a shallow, immature, emotionally incompetent ingrate. “Thank you for your honesty. I’m looking for someone with more personal strength and depth”.

I agree with other posters that context is so important in this case and ADHD or something similar can be a factor. I'm not formally diagnosed with anything but I definitely fall into the bored easily category and not just with other people but my hobbies, favourite music, TV shows, jobs , surroundings - it's not a slight on how interesting things need to be to keep me entertained, it's being honest and self aware.

Oh well it can’t be true then if you’re not affected by it. 🙄

Getting bored easily is considered by doctors to be a common trait for those with ADHD, primarily due to low dopamine levels and a heightened need for stimulation.

This ^
it is the start of conditioning you. You will be doing the boring stuff if HE decides he wants a relationship with you. But you (little woman) better be interesting, funny, constantly on - you must never have an off day or feel low or have ‘real life stuff’ to deal with.

and you must always be up for great sex with him, whenever he wants it and if he is finding it boring he most certainly will look elsewhere - he’s just being kind and warning you in advance.

I don’t think it sounds harmless at all. It tells you something though - not to invest time in the person.

I’d definitely take that as they are looking for fun rather than a committed long term relationship

Children get bored, adults get responsibilities and a home

As my old granny used to say - only boring people get bored!

I'd avoid any man who trotted this line out! Red flag

@HundredMilesAnHour

Maybe the ADHD "bored" is different, as @Octavia64 and @BarbarasRhabarberba mentioned, though.

Getting bored of one specific thing, but having so many topics lined up that you switch to the next one. That's how I would understand it. I'm never bored in general because there is always something to do and there are ideas to follow and things to explore, but I might get bored of one specific thing at a time.

The guy @NoveltyFatigue described sounds more like "I get bored, make something happen for me", which is not usually the ADHD thought process. They don't necessarily need other people for new ideas and entertainment, they have enough of them on their own.

You phrased it better than me.

I think of I was on a date with someone who said that to me I would be tempted to say "I have to go now because I am bored"

😁

YANBU

I would never go out with someone who said this, I’ve never been bored in my life with any person or situation.

to me it says ‘I don’t have a rich enough internal life’

I think it’s extremely unlikely that this person is as interesting as they think they are.