To think “I get bored quickly” is one of the worst things a man can say?

[NoveltyFatigue]

It always makes my stomach drop a bit when a man says this. “I get bored easily” or “I get bored quickly”, it sounds harmless at first but the more I hear it, the more I think that’s a warning.

It feels like a quiet threat, like no matter who you are or how well things are going, they’re already planning their exit once the novelty wears off. It’s one thing to enjoy variety or spontaneity but to label people as “boring” once things get familiar? That feels dismissive.

Maybe I’m taking it too personally. Maybe it’s just a harmless personality quirk. But to me, it signals low emotional stamina and a lack of depth. Like if things aren’t constantly stimulating, they check out.

AIBU to feel this is one of the worst things you can hear, especially as a woman dating men?

I think it's one of the best things as I know to steer clear of people who essentially put their need for stimulation and entertainment solely on their partner. Red flag noted...

It means they're immature and selfish.

I know what you mean. At least they're putting it out there.

You could always reply with, 'Yep and that is one of the things I find most boring.'😂

Yeah not someone to build a life with. Housework is boring, childcare can be boring, cooking, etc etc. you will get lumped with all that. And then live under the fear that normal sex will be seen as vanilla so you need to do things you are not comfortable with to avoid being boring. Spending time with your friends and family doing things he may not have chosen will be boring. Just no

Even if true, it's an idiotic thing to say. Red flag.

Or it could just mean they have ADHD.

It would turn me right off. It’s like a subtle form of manipulation or negging. Like, it’s up to YOU to keep things fresh because I’M the dog’s bollocks.

If they've build an interesting life, with hobbies, volunteering and travel, and it's a way to modestly explain that, I'd let it slide. Sort of like "oh you're so amazing having saved all those donkeys from certain death" "well LOL I get bored easily" would be fine.

Or “only boring people get bored.”

Depends on the context and what you're looking for.

It's useful to hear though as you know not to waste your time with them. I'm sure I dated a few guys like that in my youth. Seemed head over heels mad about me one week, indifferent a week later, then suddenly never seen again. Hurtful and confusing.

It' also seems very immature, never properly settling or exploring anything in proper depth (not just relationships but learning, careers, neighbourhoods etc). How shallow to just coast through life jumping from new shiny thing to new shiny thing. It seems very unsatisfying!

exactly.
Except, if he's the 'type' to get bored quickly, he might not comprehend ...

"I'm an Alpha male and follow Andrew Tate" is much worse

That’s your cue to say “lovely to meet you, I don’t think it’s going to work. Best of luck”.

I really believe in Nigel Farage

Yes, it means they are boring themselves and are waiting to tag on someone else to keep their life interesting. They also usually have no life purpose because they don't want to make an effort for anyone/anything. They are transactionally minded, just take and don't give. Avoid is all I can say.

I’ll be honest no one has ever said to me I get bored quickly

Hmm. I'd say my BF does get bored quickly, in that he's always looking for something to do, planning the next trip etc. but I've never heard him say it, and I agree it would be a warning that he was planning his exit if he did.

In what context though? If they said it specifically about relationships to explain why they’d never dated anyone for longer than a month then sure, give them a wide berth. But maybe they mean something else. I’d say I get bored easily (I’m a woman) and that’s why I’m freelance, because I basically need a new job every three months to keep me interested and motivated. I have ADHD and a short attention span and I get bored if I don’t go on interesting travels a few times a year. I don’t think it always means what you think OP.

Best answer.

I think that of people who go on holiday to interesting places and come back saying it was boring.

I’m a woman and I say this.

in my case it’s to explain why I play so many instruments, have learned a lot of languages (superficially) and have three degrees.

i also have two kids that I spent 5 years studying home with and worked for two decades as a teacher.

I would consider that a complete turn-off. And yes, massive red flag.

If a man says they get bored quickly, the correct response is "Oh, like a child?" 🤭

It’s one of the best things he can say early. I can avoid him.

I have ADHD and am rarely bored, if ever.

Hmm, I bet if they got paired up with a supermodel they wouldn’t say it 🙄.

it just immature and like a ready made excuse they can rely on when they’re being selfish in the relationship in some way or someone else turns their head.