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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

CheckAC · 12/11/2025 14:11

Ticklyoctopus · 12/11/2025 08:15

It’s very difficult, but the kids like spending time with her so I just have to tolerate it. But she’s very snide, proud, underhand and all about ‘number 1’. Probably a matter for another thread!

I don’t ever understand parents who allow access between such truly awful sounding people to their children simply because the kids love “em!!!

Children love lots of things that we are parent know should be limited or even prohibited

Garamousalata · 12/11/2025 14:16

MidnightPatrol · 12/11/2025 11:43

Do elaborate

The campaign is nothing to do with pension age it concerns the lack/absence of notice some were given about the changes. The ombudsman agreed that the government at that time did not adequately inform women of the changes.

mutinyonthetwix · 12/11/2025 14:32

Garamousalata · 12/11/2025 14:16

The campaign is nothing to do with pension age it concerns the lack/absence of notice some were given about the changes. The ombudsman agreed that the government at that time did not adequately inform women of the changes.

I genuinely can't think of any tax or spending change ever for which more notice was given or greater pains taken to notify affected parties. Certainly people affected by all subsequent pension changes got a lot less.

Governments can and must make fiscal decisions which disadvantage groups of people or a country just cannot run. When Osborne reformed the Stamp Duty thresholds he only gave a few hours notice and many people lost many thousands of pounds as chains collapsed. But there was no suggestion of compensation because it would be preposterous to compensate everyone affected adversely by a Budget.

The High Court has already determined that the government did nothing wrong and no remedy is owed. The WASPI movement has decided to have another go in court which I think will prove unfortunate and just involve throwing away yet more of their supporters' money but we'll see.

HelenaWaiting · 12/11/2025 14:44

Ijwwm · 11/11/2025 23:51

When I started working life, there were often restrictions on being part of a pension scheme as a woman.

One job, had to have been there x number of years. Another two, couldn’t apply to join until 25 or 30 years old.

Whilst not totally up to date on this scenario, it’s really bloody annoying the rhetoric of “women of a certain age should have planned better”. There is a real undercurrent of vitriol on this site towards “older” people in various scenarios and it’s really not pleasant. We are approaching the point where it’s going to become less effective to throw out the “boomer” slur as their numbers decline. Can only guess there’ll be a new slur coined about Gen X so that people can carry on moaning about the “older” generations.

Okay, let's say we accept all that. Now explain to me why a woman born in February 1960 was subjected to it but a woman born in February 1960 wasn't.

isitmyturn · 12/11/2025 14:54

JassyRadlett · 11/11/2025 21:31

If this happens the first one at the barricades will be my MIL, who is firmly in this age cohort, worked minimum wage all her working life, and is disgusted with the WASPI campaigners for, in her words, "giving the the rest of us a bad name."

Her view is that the Ombudsman's report was flawed, overreached and infantilised women.

It's not often she gets really worked up about something but she is properly cross about this.

I'm with your MIL.
I'm a waspi who waited 6 years longer than originally planned for my pension. I am appalled by this, can these campaigners not read the room?

I would just say in defence that I received no letters (and have not moved house for 40 years) so I assume others who say they had no letters are correct. Also there was no internet. Information was not as readily available.
Nevertheless by the time I was in my early 50s it was well known and I was aware that my pension would come at 66 instead of 60. Although I do remember a colleague who was approaching 60 and had no idea.

I would far rather the money went almost anywhere else

thepariscrimefiles · 12/11/2025 14:59

Boomer55 · 12/11/2025 08:48

Plus the work shy, of course:

Must help them to keep having children they can’t afford. 🙄

https://www.itv.com/news/2025-11-11/starmer-hints-controversial-two-child-benefit-cap-will-be-axed-in-budget

I'm sure there are plenty of workshy boomers too. Most demographics will have their fair share.

thepariscrimefiles · 12/11/2025 15:01

Livelovebehappy · 12/11/2025 08:56

Stupid comment. The current generation get far more help thrown at them than in any previous decades. Food banks (just because they weren’t around a couple of decades ago, doesn’t mean they weren’t needed), benefits coming out of their ears - particularly those involving MH disability - people used to have to just get on with it. Subsidised child care. Hardly any childcare back in the day, let alone subsidised. Pay equality for women now which never existed. And I could go on. Oh…and the two child cap about to be removed, which means women can have as many kids as they wish courtesy of the British tax payer, whether they can afford them or not. I’m not a ‘boomer’ btw, but just get fed up with the current generation of workers and SAHMs whinging on here when they’ve got far more that anyone had 40/50 years ago. Check your privilege….

Edited

Food banks weren't needed until the austerity policies of the Coalition Government kicked in. They aren't something to be proud of but they were necessary when the welfare state was cut to ribbons.

HelenaWaiting · 12/11/2025 15:15

HelenaWaiting · 12/11/2025 14:44

Okay, let's say we accept all that. Now explain to me why a woman born in February 1960 was subjected to it but a woman born in February 1960 wasn't.

Correction:
Okay, let's say we accept all that. Now explain to me why a woman born in February 1960 was subjected to it but a woman born in May 1960 wasn't.

thepariscrimefiles · 12/11/2025 15:43

LabourOfLoathing · 12/11/2025 11:34

Because handing over £20million to a corrupt government abroad is a waste of tax payer money.

If our government wasn’t so quick to dish out millions of pounds to other governments then maybe we would have more money to spend on people in the Uk, and maybe they wouldn’t have to go back on their election promise not to increase taxes on working people (eg NI and also income tax - which they are widely expected to do).

And maybe, just maybe they wouldn’t need to backtrack on the compensation the Waspi women.

HTH.

I presume that it comes out of the foreign aid budget and it will be used to train tax collecters in order to maximise Ethiopia's tax revenue which will make them less reliant on foreign aid.

Obviously the Tax Dodgers Payers Alliance disapproves because they hate foreign aid and they hate anyone paying tax.

Garamousalata · 12/11/2025 15:43

mutinyonthetwix · 12/11/2025 14:32

I genuinely can't think of any tax or spending change ever for which more notice was given or greater pains taken to notify affected parties. Certainly people affected by all subsequent pension changes got a lot less.

Governments can and must make fiscal decisions which disadvantage groups of people or a country just cannot run. When Osborne reformed the Stamp Duty thresholds he only gave a few hours notice and many people lost many thousands of pounds as chains collapsed. But there was no suggestion of compensation because it would be preposterous to compensate everyone affected adversely by a Budget.

The High Court has already determined that the government did nothing wrong and no remedy is owed. The WASPI movement has decided to have another go in court which I think will prove unfortunate and just involve throwing away yet more of their supporters' money but we'll see.

The ombudsman ruled that the Department of Works and Pensions AKA the government, failed to properly inform women of a 19050s cohort, of changes to their state pension age.

That ruling actually happened, so I disagree with your personal anecdotal evidence.

thepariscrimefiles · 12/11/2025 15:47

Ticklyoctopus · 12/11/2025 10:57

I don’t think anyone has said that every woman of WASPI age feels this way. But you have to see the wider context. Todays pensioners have had the best financial days this country has ever seen, they retired far earlier than we will, many will be drawing a pension for 25+ years and the rest of the country is barely above water, yet they’re still clamouring for more at our expense. It’s awful and just so greedy.

Financial circumstances change for everyone at a moment’s notice, that doesn’t entitle us to compensation from the state. Tuition fees tripled overnight the year after I left school. Our mortgage shot up after the Trusterfuck a few years ago. Nobody gave us years to ‘financially plan’ for those things, they just happened. The WASPIs had far more warning than most, if they lived under a rock and refused to show even the smallest bit of common sense how is that our problem?

I love 'Trussterfuck' (but I have given it a double 's').

I fall into the Waspi demographic and I don't think we should get compensation.

Changename12 · 12/11/2025 15:56

I hope they don’t give into this crowd who do women no favours. I fit into the cohort but of course I knew the age limit was going up.
I do not understand this government. They keep saying we are short of billions but still think of more ways to spend money.

mutinyonthetwix · 12/11/2025 16:02

Garamousalata · 12/11/2025 15:43

The ombudsman ruled that the Department of Works and Pensions AKA the government, failed to properly inform women of a 19050s cohort, of changes to their state pension age.

That ruling actually happened, so I disagree with your personal anecdotal evidence.

The PHSO doesn't make rulings. It makes decisions and issues recommendations and these have about the same significance as the outcome of a Twitter poll. The government has also comprehensively rebutted the PHSO recommendation in relation to the WASPIs and, frankly, the PHSO's recommendation was utterly flimsy and not borne out by its own evidence.

Only a court or tribunal can order redress and the courts have so far ruled in the government's favour. The High Court ruling of 2019 also actually happened but the difference is it also actually matters.

I also genuinely don't know what personal anecdotal evidence you think I provided.

Dontknowwhattocall13893 · 12/11/2025 16:09

Wreckit · 12/11/2025 13:09

It's easy to say "stop pitting generations against each other" when the cohort who likely won't retire till 70+ will be the one paying for the generation being compensated for NOT retiring at 60

Edited

I know I find it interesting that none in favour of the compensation is addressing this point. Qt least not till this point.

Livelovebehappy · 12/11/2025 16:19

thepariscrimefiles · 12/11/2025 15:01

Food banks weren't needed until the austerity policies of the Coalition Government kicked in. They aren't something to be proud of but they were necessary when the welfare state was cut to ribbons.

Food banks have always been needed. The expectations and priorities have changed through the decades. Poverty in the 60s and 70s was having holes in your shoes and women having to stay in unhappy and abusive marriages because as most were SAHMs, due to lack of childcare facilities, they had no benefit safety net or CMS, they were basically trapped. Now, people think they’re in poverty if they can’t afford to go out for a meal, can’t afford to run a car, can’t afford a holiday, can’t afford broadband or the latest mobile phone. I think people just don’t appreciate how much help is out there now, when they didn’t used to be any.

Livelovebehappy · 12/11/2025 16:31

MidnightPatrol · 12/11/2025 10:05

re: ‘left in very difficult situations’.

Do you realise people 30 years younger will need to work until their 70s for a state pension (if, quite frankly, they receive one at all).

Tbh, it’s all relative isn’t it? People are living longer, and by the time today’s generation reach their 60s the expected age for people to live to will also have gone up, so whilst the age of retirement might raise to 70+, they will probably be expected to live longer, so will presumably enjoy the same amount of years post retirement as today’s pensioners

jasflowers · 12/11/2025 17:02

Garamousalata · 12/11/2025 15:43

The ombudsman ruled that the Department of Works and Pensions AKA the government, failed to properly inform women of a 19050s cohort, of changes to their state pension age.

That ruling actually happened, so I disagree with your personal anecdotal evidence.

Didn't he also say that despite this, 73% knew of the change?

Published research, which is referenced by the Ombudsman in their report, also shows that 73% of women aged 45-54 said that they were aware of State Pension age increases in 2004. By 2006, 90% of 1950s-born women knew about State Pension age changes

So even if compensation is due, it shouldn't go to those that did know.

Elsvieta · 12/11/2025 17:08

Imfat · 11/11/2025 23:20

I was born may 1960 so it doesn't effect me. I knew about the change when it was announced.
Yet my friend born February 1960 insists it wasn't in the news.
Money is tight so I don't think this compensation should be paid.

I clearly remember it being a major news story - I mean, reported on and discussed over weeks and then months - in the mid-nineties, when my major concern in life was my A-levels, not pensions. Your friend and all these other women are trying it on.

Digdongdoo · 12/11/2025 17:16

Livelovebehappy · 12/11/2025 16:31

Tbh, it’s all relative isn’t it? People are living longer, and by the time today’s generation reach their 60s the expected age for people to live to will also have gone up, so whilst the age of retirement might raise to 70+, they will probably be expected to live longer, so will presumably enjoy the same amount of years post retirement as today’s pensioners

Depends from where you are measuring. Life expectancy hasn't moved much in decades, and isn't expected to any time soon.

Negroany · 12/11/2025 17:20

ICouldHaveCheckedFirst · 12/11/2025 10:33

I'm at the tail end of tge WASPI cohort. I was aware of rhe changes, but accepted them. In the end, I was able to retire slightly ahead of receiving my state pension because I had good workplace pension, and a DH who accrued pensions in his own right.
My 70-year old friend, on the other hand, feels very bitter. She was a single mother, often working poorly paid jobs, with periods of unemployment. She is an intelligent, politically aware woman but claims to have had no notice, and is a fully paid up WASPI member. She dreams of how the "stolen" money could change her life. It's a tricky subject between us.
I think a small amount of compensation, on a sliding scale based on age, would be OK, but nothing more.

Did she consider getting a job once she realised the state pension wouldn't start until five years later?

I just don't understand what people think they are owed.

Negroany · 12/11/2025 17:21

Digdongdoo · 12/11/2025 17:16

Depends from where you are measuring. Life expectancy hasn't moved much in decades, and isn't expected to any time soon.

I thought it had gone down a bit - I'm sure the last time I looked mine was lower than my mum's.

PhilOPastry62 · 12/11/2025 17:23

The WASPI campaign always seems to me to be badly misdirected. Lots of women of that age worked in the public sector and have final salary workplace pensions that subsequently closed to younger workers. Those women are comparatively much better off than the women coming up behind them who will have a higher state pension age and less favourable workplace pensions. I can't see the argument for giving them extra compensation for pension changes that were very widely publicised. Granted, many women of that age will have worked in low-paid jobs without good workplace pension schemes. I have every sympathy for those women. But even if they'd had extra notice of the raising of the state pension age, they wouldn't have been able to save extra for a pension to compensate.

If the WASPI campaign was for all low-paid workers (women and men, of all ages) to receive an extra payment to compensate for years in vital but low-paid work where they only just managed to get by, then I'd be right with them. But to ask for it for a group which includes women receiving a much better deal than those who are funding it (current taxpayers including those on low incomes) seems to be taking the piss.

I'm in my 60s if that's relevant. I know what it's like to work in low-paid jobs and I know that some people simply can't put extra money aside for pensions.

OneAmberFinch · 12/11/2025 17:23

jasflowers · 12/11/2025 17:02

Didn't he also say that despite this, 73% knew of the change?

Published research, which is referenced by the Ombudsman in their report, also shows that 73% of women aged 45-54 said that they were aware of State Pension age increases in 2004. By 2006, 90% of 1950s-born women knew about State Pension age changes

So even if compensation is due, it shouldn't go to those that did know.

Edited

Yes. And to be honest I have very little sympathy for some of the stories the WASPI women put out in the papers. There was one about a woman who quit her job early assuming her pension would be ready for her, went to apply for it and was told it was several years away... I am meant to feel sympathy for this case but who quits their job without even once calling up the pension office to check everything's in order? The lack of knowledge feels almost deliberately negligent.

Catssuddenlyappear · 12/11/2025 17:24

Absolutely obscene given the child poverty rates.

BIossomtoes · 12/11/2025 17:33

Catssuddenlyappear · 12/11/2025 17:24

Absolutely obscene given the child poverty rates.

I completely agree. As I said earlier, I have no interest in the money but I would like an acknowledgment that the 2011 changes were a complete fuck up, particularly affecting a specific cohort of around 300k early 50s born women. I’d prefer to see the money spent on lifting the two child benefit cap.