Husband's vinyl record shelves- should he pay for them or should we split cost?

[sunflowers365]

My husband and I have moved into a new house. He has a huuuuge collection of vinyl records and he needs to store them somehow. We have got a joiner to do a floor to ceiling inbuilt shelving unit so they can be stored safely and fully and, as you can imagine, it's not cheap. AIBU that he should pay for it all, or should the cost be split as we share a house?

Or … only if he never eats or drinks anything which comes from or passes through the kitchen.

blimey, I can't imagine this either. What a petty life that must be. I am all for financial independence, but why moving in together at all? They would be better off in their own home.

Yet another Mumsnet marriage where they live like flatmates... So bizarre.

I've probably spent near this on gym/bikes/gear, actually probably have if you add in the sauna, etc.

My DH buys music....

All this points scoring between partners must end up with resentment?

I don't agree it's a house hold expense. Id never expect my husband to contribute to something I collect. As it happens I also have a husband with a huge record collection which is basically taking over the house. He didn't ask me to contribute towards shelving as it's his decision to have these and to find somewhere for them. And was also happy to pay for the shelving himself. If I had my way we wouldn't have any as to me theyre just dust collectors so I'm not paying a penny towards them!

Same. What a way to live. Both terrified of the other getting one over on them.

well, I wouldn't advise anyone to do anything, but of course personally I would share?

It's a marriage, I've rarely earn the exact same amount as my husband - sometimes I earned more (a lot more), other times he earned more - and a lot more when I was on maternity leave or redundant or whatever. We still have the same lifestyle.

Most of it is from the same pot, we have some private money but ultimately, even if it's his (or mine) hobby and his only, if one of us buys an expensive boat from their private account I wish 😂😂 it's money that won't be used for a family holiday or a family expense anyway

He buys his boat his new bike I pay for my weekend away with friends or my ridiculously expensive running trainer, yes it's stil join money

it's such a weird way of looking at things too.

When it's low amount, I just buy what I want. When it's a bit more expensive, we discuss and either WE can afford it, but it would be rude to have it delivered without even mentioning it to the other one, or it impacts the family anyway.

Exactly. Do you want him monitoring your clothing spending, OP? Or makeup? Or whatever else your hobby is/are?

Hobby based. He pays. How is it a 'household expense'? My x's hobby were vintage cars. So I was supposed to pay half of it? My hobbies are travelling, books, shoes and jewellery. None of it benefits my other half. Well ok, when we travel together - we split costs, but I travel solo very often. So he should cover half of it? It racks up considerably (I can afford it).

His vinyls, his shelving, he pays.

but do you quibble about "everything"?

Your bedroom needs curtains, he found Curtains in Dunelm for £25. You want a pair of £200 curtains from the Designer Guild, he gives you £12.50, his share of a "pair of curtains" and you pay the rest?

And in what end? He has more savings/ a bigger pension, so when you are old, he can afford better food and travel, and you stay at home eating Aldi basic range? He put the heating on in HIS living room and you are cold in yours?

How does that even work in real life?

All our hobby costs are split too because we have one pot. And solo travel. I'm a bit to go on my 3rd weekend away of the uear. DH has had one. All the costs still come out of one pot.

His work Christmas do will be a lot more expensive than mine but I'm going on an extra school one too. Will all be paid for out of joint account.

You both pay as you both live there? These questions are always so baffling. In 25 years I have never ever had a conversation with my DH about who pays for anything.

Whilst I can see where you're coming from, I still think it's a household expense as it's a storage solution for the house. Otherwise the alternative is to have boxes and boxes of vinyls. We had a custom built bookcase to accommodate my thousands of books, they weren't going anywhere and that was the best storage solution for our household.

If DH and I had split finances, I'd expect him to pay for this hobbies out of his own money. An expensive storage system for vinyl records seems like a hobby expense more than a household expense. Ultimately, I'd base my decision on a variety of factors. Will the shelving be for his exclusive use? Is he insisting on a more expensive storage solution when something less luxurious would work? Does he pay for anything that's exclusively for your own hobby?

I just bought shelves for my husband’s hobby stuff. I am away to tell him he is due me money 😆

ikea storage and shelving is much cheaper and would work perfectly! No need for fancy expensive handmade shelving unless he is paying!

Our version of this is 'do you need me to pay for it?'

Yes/no/I wouldn't mind a bit towards it/is it on that cashback site?

'Is it exactly what you actually want or is there a better version?'

Yes/no

'If you want to get the more expensive one guitar thing, it's always a guitar thing instead, I'll chip in the difference, might as well have what you actually want'

Works well for us. Were it to be something one of us was absolutely opposed to or a phenomenal amount of money, there would probably be more discussion first, but as a general rule, it's a fair start.

I would reinforce some kallax shelving
like in this video

Do you not listen to the music too?

I have loads of books - my DH has none. The bookcase comes from joint money (all our money is joint really). The scenario with the vinyls are similar IMO.

I had assumed the bespoke shelves were needed because it was an awkward or large space or for the clean look. Either way, whether they be books or vinyl, if bespoke is too expensive for the budget then get cheaper storage. Or agree to a certain amount from pooled money, topped up with his personal spending money. If affordable, I would consider it a joint spend for the house, it just happens to be for vinyls rather than ornaments or books.

DH and I earn similar amounts and we discuss any big spends. Even when I was on maternity leave and part-time for years and contributing much less, neither of us once thought of it as anything other than joint money. It never occurred to us to.

Yeah - I would share the cost of everything?? Fishing tackle and all and fancy cycles if that was in the mix too. Because that's what shared finances mean.

DH paid for the renovation of my office/music room as he had a bonus. If it wasn't for that it'd have just come out of the joint pot.

I think marriages work well if you don't look at things like having to pay for x/y, but instead you get to pay or contribute to something that means a lot to the other person.

Obviously both parties reciprocate and both parties are grateful.

Don’t you enjoy the music on occasion? My poor hubby has never been a reader but has has to live with a house full of books for years!

Well, if you split up the house would be split 50/50 unless you have another arrangement. As these shelves are built in they would be fixtures and fittings so difficult for him to get his money back.

Records