Do your parents offer to have your children?

[Ohnottheschoolrunagain]

Me and DH have got into a dispute so I’m trying to work out whether our set up is normal or not. His parents never offer to come over or ask whether the kids want to stay over. I honestly think if we never took them they would never see the kids. DH say he prefer’s it that way but I don’t believe that for one second and that’s why he is so triggered. My mum will offer but she is a good drive away so sometimes I won’t bother. His parents are closer but radio silence!

Intrigued to know what other people’s setups are like.

No, DH left me in hospital to do 4 hours of driving to fetch DM when DS1 was a couple of days old so she could visit him. Visitors were very welcome!

Fair enough that she can't drive to us and has been an older grandparent, but the reality is she likes babies and little complient children that are seen and not heard. She doesn't like autistic children with opinions as firm as her own...
She's also made a number of decisions that make it difficult to involve her in family life.

I've had 3 hours of babysitting in 15 years to go to a family funeral.

With hindsight, she was pretty accomplished at getting various family members here and there to look after children for nights out and weekends away to get her adult time.

My mum does sleepovers, school collections and is available for babysitting by request. She has never done regular childcare for us though. My husbands parents (x 2 sets) do absolutely shit all. It used to infuriate it me, but I’m over it now…

Only my MIL. I have two fairly energetic young children. My parents are in their 70s and once babysat them and lasted 20 minutes, though we understand why.

Yes , mine do a couple of days pw and I’m eternally grateful as it’s a huge help especially for when they’re sick and I have to work. Hence I don’t take the p with other requests, maybe once/twinde a year sleepover request for couples night out although I know they would agree a lot more often if I asked. DHs parents don’t offer but would babysit a few hours if asked, which is rare maybe once a year. We take DC to see both sets regularly though to keep up relationships. I feel very lucky anyway.

My dh ended up hospitalised. She helped by being his visitor not even offering if maybe I’d like to go and she would watch the children.

She was actually pretty put out when my siblings girlfriend offered to watch them and drove me to hospital to see him. So lovely she even insisted on getting me a take away as she knew I hadn’t eaten in days. Just because I don’t eat when stressed.

Mil just had a strop with her son that I was his visitor 🤦🏻‍♀️