AIBU - inheritance sad story

[whattodo1113]

I’m going to break this down as easily as possible.

my grandad who is now 86 had 5 children. (The eldest is my mum)
he split up with my grandma when the children were young.
all the children are now obviously grown up in their 60s.
all of them have wife’s / husbands and their own children. They ALL live good lives and have done well for themselves are by NO means hard up.

my grandad has worked hard all his life and paid his house off etc and was alone for a long long time with not much quality of life. He then met someone and married her and had a daughter later on in life when he was late 50s. This child is grown up now too. He is still with his wife now and has been for 25 years ish. Sorry my numbers aren’t the best and it’s not really relevant.

the whole family welcomed wife and the new child and I must say she’s always been lovely she’s a lovely woman. The daughter they had I loved and still do very much. My grandad has always been a good grandad to us. I have fond memories with him and I love him loads.

so here’s the crunch….
before he met his wife he put his house in the 2 eldest children’s names (my mum included) his train of thought was if anything happened to him or he got ill etc they’d have that house and all those things and he didn’t want it to end up in a charity or whatever I don’t know.

3 years ago as he’s getting very old now he asked them to sign the house back to him as his wife has lived there with him 25 years now and it’s her HOME and their daughter lives there too. She works part time. He’s obviously planning not being here anymore
they have refused him the house and have said when he dies she can stay for 2 years to get on her feet and find somewhere then they will sell it and split the money between the 5 children.

there argument is he left when they were kids and this new child got more of him than they did growing up.
I personally think this is very revengeful of my mum and greedy and not morally right? My grandad is very depressed and cries and I just hate that this is how the end of his life looks. He said his wife has been there the most for him and loved and looked after him and she’s gonna be left in a mess when he goes and she’s doesn’t deserve it. Which I agree.

I’ve told my mum it’s his house. He paid for it. He worked for it. Give it him back. Am I being soft ?? What do you think?? I just personally feel disapointed in them.
may I add nobody visited him often or cared to see him much but they want his house and money?

they’ve all said wife will have his pension that’s enough. Which is about 500 a month I think.

I just can’t stop thinking about him and I’m the only one in the family who has said how he’s being treated is discusting. They think he’s cruel taking the house back but at the end of the day he bought the house and his life situations have changed now and all the kids are so well off with their own businesses etc they don’t NEED it. Xxx

There's a lot of filling in blanks going on here. We've no idea whether the eldest two made any contribution to the house, or if they've paid for any maintenance and improvement over the last 30 years.

If he hasn't paid rent over the past 25 years whilst expecting his children to bear the responsibility and additional costs, and now expects them to fork out CGT to give the house back I'd imagine it would do the opposite!

Is it?
<Looks around in bewilderment>
Anybody seen the OP in the last 48 hours?

Yes, on paper and legally it belongs to the two daughters but it is the house that he bought and paid for not them.

And chose to transfer to them. We don't know why but trying to dodge tax/selling for care fees seems to be the likeliest option. He chose to transfer it, it's theirs.

What if his second wife, who has lived in the house for 25 years, is turfed out two years after he dies with no where to go?

Well, why didn't she and her husband make any arrangements in those 25 years? His daughters aren't responsible for their father's new wife! Lots of people live in rented accommodation, were they even paying rent?

He can't just keep switching assets around to dodge taxes when it suits him and then have the asset when that suits him! And it's not his daughters' responsibility to take an unplanned hit to their long term finance planning because he didn't give his second family the right consideration.

Also, what about the fact that he presumably did not pay rent over the past 25 years, doesn't that muddy the waters for the two heartless bitches?

Why on earth would that muddy anything for them? I truly don't understand your point here. If he didn't pay them rent then they haven't been getting a cash flow from the property (was it owned outright or was there still a mortgage?). He's the one who benefited if that was the case, from 25 years of rent and mortgage free living. Sounds amazing, why didn't he use that advantage to set up his younger wife who was always likely to outlive him? If he was living rent free, he benefits, the daughters don't. Why on earth does that create an obligation on them? You're not making any sense.

And since OP isn't coming back... does anyone else think there's something a bit off here? It's obviously nice if she likes her step grandma and half aunt, but it does seem unusual that a person would side so much with her grandfather's second wife and their child over her own mother and blood relatives, actively wanting an asset to pass out of her own line because the second family are so very very amazing. I'm not saying it can't possibly happen but it does seem as if there's more to the story.

There totally is. If there's any truth to this, I'd bet on OP being the youngest child.

“Yes, on paper and legally it belongs to the two daughters but it is the house that he bought and paid for not them.”

The only thing that’s relevant here is that it legally belongs to the two daughters. It doesn’t matter that he bought and paid for it - he chose to give it away.

It hasn’t been his house for over two decades. If the two daughters really were ‘heartless bitches’ they could have evicted him and his family at any point from the date it became their property.

“What if his second wife, who has lived in the house for 25 years, is turfed out two years after he dies with no where to go?”

Then she’ll be turfed out with nowhere to go, I guess. She’s had twenty five years to secure her own housing, and the daughters will be giving her a grace period of two years upon the death of her husband (which they don’t need to do) to sort out accommodation. She is and will be responsible for herself.

“Also, what about the fact that he presumably did not pay rent over the past 25 years, doesn't that muddy the waters for the two heartless bitches?“

Why would it? No matter what they do he’s managed to land them with a bill, but at least in keeping the house they’ll have an asset to show for it.

In his scheme to avoid IHT he’s spectacularly failed to avoid IHT AND lost a house. He may be a lovely grandparent to OP, but he’s also a fucking idiot.

This happened to cousins of mine. The house was theirs (they had inherited from their mother), when the dad died they allowed the wife to continue living there as long as she wanted.

Was she paying rent?

Absolutely. The OP is apparently keen to ultimately disinherit herself for perceived moral reasons. Hmmm, right...

If I was your mum, no way would I be signing the house back over. I would also be speaking to a solicitor about getting a tenancy drawn up, and peppercorn rent would be asked for.

He can cry all the tears he wants, so can his wife and the half sibling. They wouldn’t be getting anything. On death they would be evicted.

Men need to stop having multiple children, especially when they fail as fathers to the children already here!

This is worth a watch for gifting property

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DNjO9fiscu0/?igsh=MXZ4MzhteDdqZXRkcg==

No, as it's not owned by her husband.

Have you thought of him having an assessment as a vulnerable Adult via social services? Just a thought it may help as his circumstances have changed

They actually haven’t changed. He hasn’t had a house to leave to his wife at any point during their relationship. Social services aren’t going to be able to help with that one.

Why is he a vulnerable adult?

And even if he is now, he wasn't 25-years-ago when he chose to give away his house.

Indeed. It won’t retroactively nullify the decision he made to give his house away 25 years ago. By that logic, if he wasn’t competent enough to do that, then he wasn’t competent to marry again either.

if you are financially secure and dont need the money and she does then thats really understandable but also really decent of you - not many would do that.