No physical contact

[Priya879]

Trying to figure out life and all the rest of it. Partner and I have been together 2 and a half years. I'd say after 5 months all physical contact stopped. I have tried every approach to get us back on track but I get nothing. Should I just give up now.

Can I ask are you a man or a woman op? Do you have children or busy jobs? Do you go on dates, enjoy one on one time etc?

Female
We have your typical 9 to 5 office jobs. No kids. We do go out but often times any bits of chemistry come only after a drink of two when we're in public. But even now I find that weird when we both know nothing goes on behind closed doors. I think I just feel quite bitter at this point

That's a short relationship to have intimacy dry up already. Have to talked to him about it?

I would walk unless you can talk about it and find a solution. Sounds hard work though and must be making you feel awful.

Yeah tried to talk many times. He can be affectionate and loving but there's no intimacy. Even when we kiss it's a peck as opposed to a full on snog!

What does he say about it ? Or does he just clam up?

I think I would ask him to hear you if he won't discuss. State your position. Not an ultimatum. But if you feel you cannot stay in a non sexual relationship (and why should you), tell him. If he won't talk about it either, that's a double whammy.

Do you want children?

Why are you still together?
Do you live with each other?

I have tried to talk many many times. Tried the patient approach, at times I have gotten angry (but then realised that wasn't fair). I did find he'd been watching ALOT of porn at one point and honestly felt like I'd been cheated on!

We do live together. He moved in with. W very quickly. Too fast on reflection.

There is no future in this relationship then. Cut your losses and end it.

YABU. Just finish it! What on earth do you expect to happen? A magic change? Do you ever want children? Can you try to imagine yourself 2/5/10 years from now - what do you honestly see?!

I would have left when I found out he was a porn addict .
Honestly OP don't waste any more of your life.

Surely, after 2 and a half years, this just means the relationship is over?

He fell out of 'lust' with you after 5 months and then you moved in together. Why? (Presumably you didn't move in together sooner than 5 months).

If you have absolutely zero physical touch then you're just room mates enjoying a lower cost of living than you would running two households.

That's it.

How old are you? I'm asking in case he's of an age where he might have developed ED issues.
I hate to be blunt, but if physical intimacy has stopped after only 2.5 years together, and you don't even have kids, you stand no chance.
I've been with DH for 21 years, so consider 2.5 years to be a relationship in its infancy, and you should be feeling a bit of passion for one another at that stage.

You need to kick him out, the relationship is over. After only 2yrs this should be the easy fun bit.

How old are you OP? I wouldn't want this, the lack of affection and intimacy wouldn't be ok with me and I'm in my late 40s. This relationship is very short, I would ask him to move out before your lives became more entwined.

You should most definitely bin this relationship off.
My Husband and I have been together 25 years, have 4 grown up children and we still can’t keep our hands off each other every single day.
i appreciate I am very lucky to have this though, but should be what we all aim for in a loving relationship.

I can’t believe you have already wasted so much time on this bloke.

Tell him to pack his stuff and leave.

Physical relations stopped after 5 months and you still moved him into your house?
You need to end this relationship and work on yourself.

Thank you all for your words...some of them are much needed. I haven't shared this with any family member or friend due to feeling a bit embarrassed and that I'm the problem (even though deep down I know I'm not), so it's much easier to fool yourself into thinking it's "OK".

Will say to those who have asked, I've been back and forth on the idea of children over the last couple of years but another reason I am angry (obviously. More with myself) is that I'm wasting my final fertile years being in this relationship

Sounds like you are just friends.. I would move on

You’ve been enormously patient but he needs to go. Have a better, full relationship with someone else, a relationship which has a future for you.

What reason has he given when you've brought it up OP? Maybe wise people can help if he's given an inkling?

I'm surprised you have put up with it this long in such a short relationship. No intimacy after 5 months is awful. I can't see why you would stay.

It sounds like you’re currently just house sharing with a friend. Move on, OP.